Stone Clearing With Richard Herring

Chapter 85 - Trampoline Fox. It's 7:40am on 24th November 2020 and the stocean is eerily calm and quiet. Brooding clouds overhead forewarn of something dire to come, but where are the FF? It's a long clear with a couple of technical difficulties, but the Ftone Boxing Day ftones are good and Richard only has to hide in a wood once. To support Movember donate here: http://rhlstp.co.uk/movember Get R...

Chapter 84 - Fhorn, Not Fhaun. It's 7.32am on 17th November 2020 (but when's international MEN'S day?) and the stocean is fully harvested and the undergrowth has had a haircut. At last we get to see the incredible progress made around the outskirts as we anticipate the cold of winter. Where are the Ftone Ftafi today? And will there finally be a successful Ftone Pole? And does he mean fecund or fec...

Chapter 83 - Mud - It's 7.30am on 10th November 2020 and finally the beets are all harvested, but there are enough left lying on the ground to provide someone with a fine broken beet business. Today's episode is sponsored by HebTroCo - check em out https://hebtro.co/. Ftone Chriftmaf has not been as fecund as Ftone Eafter but there are fome rich feams nonetheleff. There's another surprise celebrit...

Chapter 82 - Rain Orcheftra. It's 7.30am on 3rd November 2020 and the rain if coming down. But that's no reason not to support the endeavours of today's sponsor. Singingringingtwee Cavity Searches Ltd (and their CEO Chris Ives) whose money will be going to support comedy clubs through lockdown). The alien harvesters have been and the field is shorn of both beets and stones, though slaughtered beet...

Chapter 81 - The Lord'f My Fhepherd. It's 7.59am on, let me work it out, the 27th October 2020. The harvest has had to happen by now, right? Right??? Another dip into the book of medieval stone clearing mottos PLUS the great ftone hymnal comes into play. All that plus the stone pole, a shape-shifting octopus woman and Richard forgetting to do the singing, ringing tree on the one say it would proba...

Chapter 80 - Day of the Triffidf. It's 8.13am on 20th October 2020, the 20th month of 2020 (or it feels like that anyway). The conditions are damp but God is peeking down through the clouds from his heaven above. Will the harveft have come? And if not are we in danger from the plants that caused the Black Death? Richard is once again followed by the dogless lady who keeps sneaking up on him (cf th...

Chapter Seventy-Nine - Imagine All The People Clearing All the Ftones. It's 8am on 14th October 2020 and over 2 years since Richard started stone clearing (sept 2018) but not quite two years since he started these chapters (12th November 2018) and amazingly there are still a few stones left to clear. More medieval wisdom today, plus tales from the North of Adrian's wall of the backward tribe of Sc...

Chapter Feventy-Eight - I'm Just On The Phone. It's after 9am on the 6th October and the farmer has still forgotten about their crop, but the sun is out and so is the moon and Rich is chilled and loquacious. He is almost discovered by a ftealth ftone ftafi and sees a Spunkular out on the stocean, but otherwise he can mainly relax and tell you about his cupboard and his book and the ancient wisdom...

Chapter Feventy-Feven: Jamef Hunt and Niki...... It's 7.48am on 23rd September 2020 and the prospect of second lockdown hangs heavy on the fhoulders of everyone but the stone clearer. He lives by the rules of the field, not the rules of the BJ. There is a surprise celebrity guest out on the stocean today and some wise sayings about blackberries and shelves. Plus an email from one of our foreign li...

Chapter Feventy-Fix - Chameleon Man. It's before 8am on 17th September 2020, but Rich has already been awake for two hours. But it's time for the podcast to get serious and into some next level stone-clearing, if the FF will keep out of Rich's grill. There are some new enemies to contend with as well as advice on how to deal with another stone clearer on your patch. More ancient wisdom and the fir...

Chapter Feventy-Five - Ye Beetf Go On. It's approaching 9am on 9th September 2020 and a sleep-deprived Richard Herring hopes that his befuddled head will give him access to the realm of the Morlocks, logdogs and babies on horses. He has one dull hallucination but otherwise he just meets a load of new Stone Stasi with meat dogs. A wondrous transgression of the rules (well if the government can do i...

Chapter Seventy Four - King Pofeidon'f Trident. It's just after 5pm on 1st September 2020 and Richard's mood is calmed by the beauty of a late summer sun. He makes an astonishing archaeological discovery early on, but it's not a stone so who cares. The stone bowling alley sees some fine bowls and a Ftone Ftafi member prevents access to the stone pole. Plus Rich reluctantly discusses his charity wo...

Chapter 73 - David Bowie Dog. It's 6pm on 24th August 2020 and Rich is confused about how many chapters in he is. You have a very limited time left to get your witch's finger or dick or lovely numbered membership card so head here NOW http://rhlstp.co.uk/kickstarter. Rich is surprised by a Stone Stasi member who seems friendly enough, but note what he calls his dog. There's a brief intermission wh...

Chapter Seventy-Two - What If Wolfie Thinking? It's just before 8am on 17th August 2020 and Rich is in pensive mood - so much so that he forgets that he is podcasting at one point. It's nearly two years since he started and, despite having cleared thousands of stones, how many more lie beneath the soil? Will he ever finish? His chances are about as good as the current kickstarter campaign hitting...

Chapter 71 - Hydrate. It's just after 8.30am on 12th August 2020 and Richard is back from his holidays, but it's already boiling hot and he fears he will die of thirst and his bones be discovered by future stone clearers. Will he die and join the heavenly realm of stone clearers? Probably not. He has info about the imminent kickstarter campaign and good advice on how to stone clear in this awful h...

Chapter Seventy - Tractor Trampled Beetf. It's 8am on 29th July 2020 and Rich is on the brink of leaving you all for a life with a Hollywood fuperftar, but might as well get one stone clear in before that happens. The farmer has been sabotaging his own crop and the stone Stasi are quiet, maybe too quiet, but Rich is not put off and manages to clear over 20 more stones in the 30+ minutes of this le...

Chapter 69 - Funflower. It's 6pm on 21st July 2020 and Richard is out for a summer evening clear. The field has a mysterious splattering of yellow amongst its beety crop. What can it mean? Is it a signal of some kind? The kickstarter for membership of the Guild of Stone Clearers draws ever nearer and there's some Stone Stasi pretending to be gardeners, but Wolfie knows who they really are and warn...

Chapter 68 - Prickled by a Prickler. It's approximately 8.06am on 14th July and a 53 year-old Richard Herring is wading through the rain and dew soaked crops to give you a podcast with less chat and more stone clearing. Should have got some Richard Herring Prickle Guards from Amazon. He's got a pocket full of valuable witches' dicks and he's wearing his gloves and he's back where he belongs in aud...

Chapter Fixty-Feven - Coca Cola Fponforfhip. It's about 8.20am on 30th June and the weather was almost cold enough for Richard to wear his North Face jacket (Whichever direction your face is pointing, choose North Face) and he wears it anyway and gets a bit hot. He's on the search for more dicks (and fingers) and to a cynical eye might be attempting to monetise this ancient art. You can be sure he...

Stone Clearing Chapter Fixty Fix - Witch'f Finger or Witch'f Dick? It's 8am on 25th June 2020 and a contrite Richard Herring is back on the fun-baked Ftocean, in audio only, as it should be. He's looking for the petrified digits of magical hags to send out to his loyal army of fupporterf. A reminder of the importance of hydrating in summer months and making sure your dog does not die and blow your...

Chapter Sixty-Five - Geometry Leffon. It's about half past four in the afternoon on 10th June 2020 and Rich has recently been bitten by a stone, but he's still not shy. It's the podcast with everything, a squirrel dicing with death, an encounter with some ramblers, witches' fingers, dicks and balls, a tribute to a fallen stone-clearing hero and a selection of stones that have been precision engine...

Chapter Fixty-four - Love is like a Butterfly. It's been a while, but it's 29th May 2020 and about 5.15pm and Rich is out in the rich summer evening sun to clear stones. But it's so peaceful and one terrifying incident aside, we're free of the FF and he feels like he's eaten a whole bag of marijuanas. It's a backwards loop and there's now a Dominic Cummingf cairn, but apart from that it's business...

Chapter Sixty-Three - No Nudef Pleafe. It's 8.10am on 22nd April 2020 and Richard has been dragged away from his TV stardom on Twitch (http://twitch.tv/rkherring) by a technical glitch and has deigned to come back here to give you audiophiles a little bit of guidance. But you know he loves you most and hates all those fame hungry Twitchers who are bombarding him with nude selfies. He thanks the St...

Chapter 62 - Can You Stone Clear Without A Dog? It's Eafter Monday 13th (not 12th) April at about 8.45am and Rich is doing his first ever completely solo stone clear. Will it be the same without Wolfie (she's OK, just on a little holiday at the in-laws)? Has Rich's head been turned by the tens of people who have been tuning in to WATCH him ftone-clear? (THE BLAFPHEMY - check it out 8am most mornin...

Chapter Fixty One - Fell Out It's the evening of 23rd March in the first year of the plague and Richard seems to be distracted by the huge break out success of his twitch tv stream of live stone clearing http://twitch.tv/rkherring. Is he heading for a fall? Has he fold out? Join him at 8am every morning to find out and see what it looks like outside. And if you have an Amazon Prime account, get a...