Stomock

Riding in from the untamed western regions of The Healing Power of Stomock, Cowboy Joe has an important lesson to learn. Guest starring a poorly imitated Sam Elliott. Cowboy Joe The open plain the great divide the amber grains the cattle drive the mountain snow the endless sky coyotes call as you pass by a dusty trail a steady gait a rattlesnake lies in wait Hey, Cowboy Joe, riding the roan, lones...

Announcing the debut album from Homeschool Mom, a devout group of southern evangelical christian folks who do not judge you. In Sharia Law, they tell of the absolutely real threat which is ever-current, ever-threatening, and ever-totally-real: Sharia Law. It's in that neighborhood. Over there. You know the one. We can't go there.

He did and he does.

The ultraconservative evangelical band Homeschool Mom's first release revisits a favorite conspiracy theory from a few election cycles ago. I'm sure they still believe this but they've moved on to more fashionable conspiracy theories for the current election cycle.

From Gut Work and from our hearts, this song speaks to and from our hearty, healthy upbringing. Swing back, my friends.

Featuring the deep-gut vocal stylings of Tall Paul.

And here's the song in the original English. Enjoy the slightly-off shaker, the many many layers of slightly off vocals, and the excessive echo that makes it art.

First we had M-ma, a ditty with an unreliable narrator, then we had Umlaut, the same ditty rendered in unreliable German. Here's the latter. It's the song that sees noTHING, Naaaah-THING!

The boys at Blistarr made a birthday song for half of Stömock some years back. Here 'tis, minus the cussy bits at the end where their true feelings came through.

Here's a charming ditty from Nö Shit, in which the Right Stomock (because he is always right) tells the tale of No Shit Sherlock, a gangsta version of Sherlock Holmes. The song, like NSS himself, is NSFWUACS (not safe for work under any conceivable circumstances). I would post more info about the album, but for some reason all Stömock history escapes me at this moment. Was this our last album? Was...

After Gut Work, we decided to remake Ferdukia, our rock opera epic. We worked on it for a long time and used a couple of different software tools... but we were never together, geographically, during the entire project. For awhile we used a collaborative recording tool, the name of which I can't remember. It consisted of a web site and a downloadable tool that was an approximation of a 4-track rec...

I wrote this back in July 2005, as should be evident from the lyrics. I won't dissect them.

A quick cover of a song from the glorious Canadian TV show Trailer Park Boys.

By the end of the 90's, the Internet had come along to the point where geographically disparate stomachans could collaborate by trading files. We began to use a now-defunct startup whose name I can't remember. They were an early social media network built around creating music collaboratively. They offered a small, simple multi-track tool that allowed users to download a track, layer another track...

You know what the world really needs? Another version of Another Typical Song.

ATS appeared on Distended, our first EP. It falls in the category of "mean Stomock songs" since it's describing a friend. There are several of these, but that's all I'll say about that. The original recording may be lost to the ages. I have it on my CD of Noxious Effluvia, but I unwisely put a pretty label on the CD which now renders it unreadable in most CD players. But I let the folks at Apple k...

Said dome was conveniently located in Bryan's mom's backyard, where we could hear a neighbor hard at work with his chainsaw. And so can you, thanks to the magic of 4-track tape. Actually, you can hear the chain saw with only one track. Thanks to an Clapton live recording and another of the four tracks, you can hear our imaginary audience. The other two tracks were left free for the use of future g...

The only listenable track on SMP is the title track, in which we brag about how awesome we are and how you're not worthy to be our fan(s). The faux brag is a Stomock tradition going back to the days when the first Stomocks dragged themselves out of the primordial swamp to sing an impromptu song about inventing cable TV. You know we love you, though it seems like we're miles above you. But that's i...

After A New World Odor we entered the long dark upset of the Stomock. Marked by excess and haste, our output during this period is less than gutacular. First came Bible-Belted Big Blackmail (1992) and its b-side, Half an Ass Beats Nun, then F*** Manifesto (1993), and The Stomock Master Plan (1993). Yes, we had fun making them, but with a few exceptions the songs make for some rough listening. Exce...

A New World Odor's 30 tracks mark the end of the early Stomock period and herald much of what was to come in the next ten years. The Right Stomock's growing musical skills were growing while the Left Stomock was getting distracted by graduate school and other distractions. This is the first Stomock album to feature a large number of tracks that do not feature both band members. Here's one of those...

This song was on both versions of Ferdukia. It's the coming-of-age story of the boy who got left in the woods. There's a parallel song for the boy the king kept, which features the line, "I played my flute/and clicked my heels/and gaily escaped under cover of night." The key to this song, of course, slant-rhymes with 'home'.

There was a long hiatus in Stomock recording while the two halves of the Stomock lived busy lives separated by broad physical distances. In 1996, for instance, we were separated by 6,436.8 miles, give or take a tenth of a mile. In the meantime, the Internet developed to the point where we could mail files back and forth. That's how we recorded Gut Work in 2000 (more on that later) and the second v...

The next album was Endangered Feces, recorded in 1989. But looking at the track list (and listening to the quality of the songs digitized from the ancient tape) I don't feel like sharing anything from that one. Ferdukia, which followed, was a rock opera about two boys conceived in badness, born joined at the stomock, and separated at birth. The album follows (loosely) their travels as they move di...

In 2004, we re-recorded some of the songs from our fuzzy early tapes. Here's Hang Out Yer Stomock.

The first Stomock songs were recorded in the winter of 1986-87, during a break from my freshman year in college. The sequence is a little blurry for me now, but we recorded a short tape called "Distended" and another whose name I can't remember. We declared them to be "EPs" since they only had a few songs. All of those recordings are lost, but, alas, plenty more are not. This is one of those. It's...