Sort of Brilliant

They’re creepy and they’re kooky. Mysterious and spooky. They’re all together ooky. The Addams Family. DUH DUH DUH DUH. This episode we sort Morticia, Gomez and Wednesday, the only people in this show (movie?) with any personality worth analyzing. Lauren broke Rachel’s entire worldview this week by revealing The Addams Family was not a normal and accepted part of her childhood, and polling shoes t...

Y'all. Can you believe it. We've been sorting characters into Hogwarts houses for FIFTY EPISODES. You've been listening to us for 50 whole episodes! More than 50 hours! Have you listened to every single one? If you have, let us know, you win a cookie. This episode we do not sort any new characters, instead we look back on our last 49 episodes and talk about the characters we've already sorted and...

Hey sorters, whatcha doing? Hey sorters, which house ya going to? We're glad you're here so we can tell you. Finally, the long awaited New Girl episode is here, where we sort the most amount of people we've ever sorted in one episode. And we actually succeed in under 2 hours, can you believe it. Tune in to this wonderfully compact and reasonably lengthed episode where we sort Jessica Day, Nick Mil...

It's our first threepeat! We're back in the world of Doctor Who to talk about 11's companions (and River, who was never a companion). Just like 10 has a favorite house, so it seems does 11. This era of Doctor Who is chock full of wibbly wobbly timey wimey, with River being a Pond kid and moving backwards while the Doctor and her parents more forward...it sure does make for some unique sorting. Are...

Vought tried to keep this information hidden, but we here at Sort of Brilliant knew no one would be able to rest until you knew what house all of these crazy Supes (and the man trying to kill them all) are in. Sure, now we're on Homelander's hit list for reading him for filth, and sure, maybe Butcher calls us a couple of cunts (non-affectionate) but at least Soldier Boy still loves us! What? Oh......

We go straight up uncivilized in this week's episode of Sort of Brilliant. Originally reluctant to dive back into the Star Wars universe, Rachel was convinced when she was repossessed with the soul of a shitlord memer. That's right - we're talking about the prequels. We sort Anakin (Darth Vader), Padme, and Obi-Wan Kenobi (or Ben for short. Because that makes sense). We had a lot of fun with this...

It's 2AM on the day this podcast releases and I'm only now remembering to upload it. I think this slapstick type comedy matches the ~vibe~ of the episode, you know. Because I am too stunned by how beautiful these women are to remember my own name. This week, in honor of the release of Thor: Love and Thunder, we are sorting the women of Thor. That's right, this week is all about Jane, Valkyrie and...

We did it. We reached the end. It's the last live action Spider-Man we'll ever sort. At least until they replace Tom Holland. For Hannah's birthday this year we sort the BEST Spider-Man (Rachel doesn't write these descriptions so her opinion means nothing) - The Amazing Spider-Man! For those of you not in the know, that's Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man. He is the best example of his house, they in f...

We're back at Mythic Quest Headquarters with some more of the gang! Bless this show for giving us so many interesting people to sort. Even David, who by his very nature is not interesting, somehow manages to be interesting because of it. Unfortunately his light dims in the face of Brad and Jo in this episode, but we were surprised he held up as well as he did. All of the houses this week were VERY...

You know you love us. Trolls and cyberbullies of the 2020s decade have nothing on Gossip Girl, who was really just around to terrorize a niche group of privileged white rich kids and the Brooklyn poors who plagued them. YOU CANNOT BEAT AN EARLY 2000S CW SHOW, SO DON'T EVEN TRY. Kristen Bell truly brings life to Dan Humphrey's psychotic tendencies, and we're all just along for the ride. You may thi...

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can...including shoot webs from some unknown place in his body! They really gave Tobey's Spider-Man everything, where did those webs even come from? And as George asks, very reasonably, why don't they shoot out of his ass? Anyway, we're back, George (Rachel's husband and resident Ravenclaw) is our guest, and we're sorting Peter, MJ and Harry! Yes we h...

We've traveled the whole goddamn multiverse and Stephen Strange is the same Hogwarts House in every. Single. One. So is Christine, and, if our theory holds (it will hold, we're always right) Wong. Strange was right, there really is only one way! We get right to the heart of the mystic arts and the Sanctum to sort Dr. Strange, Christine and Wong and start connecting them to the larger Marvel verse....

MAN FOR SALE. GET YOUR HOT, FRESH MAN FOR SALE. COME AND BUY MY BOOTY. Ahoy mateys! It's Our Flag Means Death week! Like everyone else, we were taken totally off gaurd by this gay little pirate show and had to quick add it to our schedule because it's SO GOOD. Meg and Carla from Bed, Wed or Behead pod join us for the third damn time in a row to discuss the houses of Stede, Blackbeard and Oluwande....

You are the object of all my desires and the bane of my existence. This episode is all about DUTIES. Secrete duties. Duties only one house could ever understand, a house that both Anthony and Kate belong to, because they are insane. Even more insane that they're dating. Just craziness the entire way around. And only Edwina could put up with them. Everyone else can't. Not even Daphne, at her very m...

THEY'RE BAAAAACK. Not the Eurovision folks, we've never done Eurovision before. We can only do it once, it's a Netflix movie. But we ARE with Meg and Carla again! The BeWBs are back and we're sorting Carla's favorite movie in the whole world ever! Rachel had never seen it before and doesn't even know what Eurovision is, and Lauren only saw it once when it first came out, so Carla was the leader of...

THIS is the Bad Place! Right here at SOB pod, we are the Bad Place. The worst place. It's all fire squids and non-stop conversation about Supernatural here. Except this week, where we talk about The Good Place instead. We are talking about The Good Place, our second ever Kristen Bell franchise, because it's Lauren's BIRTHDAY, and she has an infatuation with that tiny little blonde and this HOUSE T...

SOB is back to shitsort 9-1-1, but this time it's the Lonestar edition. We still don't know anything about this franchise! So Hailee and Illy have graciously returned to help us sort TK, Carlos and Owen. And guess what y'all, TK and Carlos are BOYFRIENDS. Sent our little Destiel shipping asses into a tizzy. This episode is very off the rails and half the time we're not sure what we're talking abou...

We told to you we'd be there for you, and we keep our promises. Here we are a SECOND time to round out the Friends crew. Tricia is back and this week we're sorting Phoebe, Monica and Rachel, who were much more interesting than the guys. And their houses reflect that! There wasn't much fighting this episode but there was a lot of Slytherin hate and Ross hate, but those two aren't related. We hate R...

SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAAAAAAAY. Welcome to Sort of Brilliant, where we're there for you, especially when it comes to sorting. This week we're joined by our Friend and Friends aficionado, Tricia, who has some opinions that she graciously shares in the face of Rachel and Lauren screaming. There are six friends, and we wanted to make this a Friends February especially for all of...

We're back in the TARDIS this week with the women who made Ten better (or tried to, anyway). That's right, it's Ten companion week with Rose, Martha, and Donna! No one knows that brilliant, clever mind better than them, and Ten knows he'd be nothing without them (and proves it by regenerating when he's lost them all). Their stories may end sadly (except Martha's) but we don't think any of them wou...

WE'RE BAAAAAAACK. But, you say, you never went anywhere! Correct we never go anywhere. But it is a new year, and we're back. With more Marvel content. It just doesn't stop, except it will, because now this multibillion dollar corporation is leaving us high and dry until May. And they know we'll be begging for it. Bastards. Anyway. This week we're talking about arguably the best Disney show, Hawkey...

THEY SAY THAT TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUTTA ME! It's teenage Peter Parker from the MCU! We love Peter Parker in this house, and the world has spoiled us with three different versions of him on the big screen, sometimes even on the same screen (*River Song voice* SPOILERS SWEETIE) but this time around we're sorting the Marvel Cinematic Universe Peter played by Tom Holland himself, along wit...

MERRY CHRISTMAS! And all other winter holidays, including Boxing Day! Since it is Christmas, we're sorting a Christmas movie, chosen by our loyal listeners. They've picked the most obvious one of all: DIE HARD. Don't start that argument with us, we will win. And obviously, we sorted the building. Jk. Although the building is a Hufflepuff. Rachel and Lauren did not expect to like this movie as much...

What kind of man is he? Well he's the Doctor of course. Doctor Who? In this episode, we answer the First question, the oldest question in the universe, the one hidden in plain site, the one that can never be answered...what house does the Doctor get sorted in? More importantly for all of you to know, why isn't it the same house every time he regenerates? Because it's definitely, 100% NOT. Rachel a...

Think the title of this podcast is missing a captain, mate, SAVVY? You know him, you love him, you've seen at least one person dressed up as him on Halloween each year and you HAVE heard of him...it's Captain Jack Sparrow. But not with the Black Pearl. Instead he's being thrown under the sorting hat along with his (friends? Victims? Unwilling compatriots?) Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan. It's our...