Sober Friends

Send us Fan Mail Pete Axthelm once said he tried to quit drinking for three days — and couldn’t cope. He died at 47, convinced that life without alcohol wasn’t survivable. That sentence stopped me cold, because for many of us, it’s painfully familiar. In this episode, Steve and I talk about why quitting alcohol feels less like a choice and more like standing at the edge of a cliff. We explore the...

Send us Fan Mail There’s no such thing as perfect sobriety. In this episode, Matt and Steve explore why learning from mistakes is part of the process — not a failure. They talk about comparison in recovery, changing needs over time, and how wanting things to “click faster” can quietly work against us. This is an honest conversation about patience, humility, and staying willing — even when you real...

Send us Fan Mail What does “rock bottom” actually look like — and do you really have to hit it before you get sober? In this episode, Matt and Steve break down the biggest myth in recovery: that you need a dramatic collapse, a lost job, a destroyed marriage, or a trip to the ER to justify getting help. We talk about how comparison keeps people stuck (“my story isn’t as bad as theirs”), why so many...

Send us Fan Mail What happens when the picture-perfect life hides a private hell? In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast, Matt J sits down with Emily Redondo, author of Wife Mother Drunk: An Intergenerational Memoir of Loss and Love . Emily takes us inside her raw and unfiltered journey through addiction, motherhood, and the generational trauma that shaped her story. From pumping and dumping...

Send us Fan Mail What do you do when your body forces you to slow down — and your mind wants to fight it? In this week’s episode, Matt and Steve dive into the real-life struggle of acceptance after Matt was sidelined by Lyme disease. No gym, no long walks, barely enough energy to get through the grocery store. It felt like life was slipping by… and the only way forward was accepting what is. Accep...

Send us Fan Mail Turning 50 has Matt thinking about milestones — in life, in recovery, and in all the small moments that really shape who we become. In this episode, the guys dig into what “milestones” truly mean once you’ve been around a while. Sure, the chips and anniversaries matter, but the real growth often happens in the quiet, everyday wins: making an amends, showing up for someone you love...

Send us Fan Mail It’s Gratitude Month — but what if you don’t feel grateful? Matt and Steve talk about the kind of week that tests your patience, your sobriety, and your sanity. From corporate layoffs and sleepless nights to plumbing issues and family stress, it was one of those weeks. But a TikTok from a man recovering from cancer shifted Matt’s perspective — a reminder that gratitude isn’t about...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Steve take a hard look at We Agnostics , one of the most debated chapters in the AA Big Book. Matt admits he’s developing a resentment toward Bill W.’s logic — from comparing God to electricity to invoking Columbus and the flat Earth. Are these inspired metaphors or just sales tactics to get the drunk to believe? The guys talk about where Bill’s arguments...

Send us Fan Mail ver tell yourself, “I can’t be an alcoholic — I still have a job, a house, and a family”? This week, Matt and Steve dive into the myth of the high-functioning drinker — the person who looks like they have it all together, but is quietly falling apart on the inside. We talk about how easy it is to compare our messy insides to other people’s polished outsides, why you don’t have to...

Send us Fan Mail It’s one of the most awkward moments in sobriety when someone offers you a drink and you are not sure what to say. Do you tell the truth, make an excuse, or try to explain yourself? Matt and Steve talk about those everyday situations where being sober still feels weird, like barbecues, work events, neighbors, and family get-togethers. They share their own stories, what to say and...

Send us Fan Mail Sometimes forgiveness feels impossible, especially when you’re sure the other person doesn’t deserve it. In this episode, Matt and Steve dive into the messy, uncomfortable work of letting go of resentment and learning to “love on” the people who have wronged us. Inspired by CHiPs star Larry Wilcox’s story about forgiving Erik Estrada after years of bitterness, the guys talk about...

Send us Fan Mail Rebecca calls herself a “textbook alcoholic,” but her recovery journey is anything but ordinary. In this episode, she opens up about chasing the next big thing, hitting bottom, and finding freedom in sobriety. From navigating early recovery with overachiever energy (yes, she read the entire Big Book cover to cover) to surviving a literal hurricane without picking up a drink, Rebec...

Send us Fan Mail At the Big E, one of the biggest fairs in the country, I couldn’t help but notice how quickly things turned sloppy once the drinks started flowing. Being surrounded by that chaos didn’t just make me uncomfortable—it brought me back to the unpredictability and abuse I grew up with around alcohol. In this episode, Steve and I dig into why being around drunk crowds can feel so unsett...

Send us Fan Mail Some weeks, the world feels like too much. Shocking news, painful anniversaries, and even everyday moments can stir up old fears and anxieties. For those of us in recovery, those feelings used to send us straight to a drink or a destructive behavior. In this episode, Matt and Steve talk honestly about what it’s like when the news cycle, memories of 9/11, and even walking into a sc...

Send us Fan Mail What really keeps people sober: faith, science, or a mix of both? In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast , Matt and Steve dive into the tension—and surprising overlap—between faith-based recovery in AA and evidence-based approaches like therapy, medication, and new medical research. Matt shares a personal struggle with restless legs and sleep issues, along with his journey u...

Send us Fan Mail The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous was originally designed to be a sponsor in your pocket when there were no meetings to attend. So why do Matt J and Steve insist you shouldn't read it solo? In this honest conversation, they explore why this 1939 "textbook" hits different when you share it with others. From sponsor relationships to Big Book meetings, discover why...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast , Matt and Steve dig into Step 12 of the program: carrying the message and practicing the principles in all areas of life. They share personal stories of being welcomed into meetings, what it felt like to get help in those first shaky days, and why giving back to newcomers is essential for staying sober. From answering hotline calls to...

Send us Fan Mail We say alcohol is the problem — but for me, alcohol was the solution to something deeper. In this episode, I share my story of living with ADHD and a new diagnosis of Level 1 autism, and how both shaped my drinking and recovery. From masking in social situations to battling boredom, anxiety, and racing thoughts, I talk about why alcohol became my coping tool and what I’ve learned...

Send us Fan Mail Alcohol was just the symptom. Matt and Steve talk about childhood wounds, confidence, and why lasting sobriety can take more than AA. From therapy to medical care, they share the tools that keep them sober—and why it’s okay to build your own recovery path. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispa...

Send us Fan Mail You’re out to celebrate—a birthday dinner at the hibachi grill, maybe a wedding, or just a backyard barbecue. Then it happens. Someone hands you a drink, squirts sake at your face, or serves food soaked in booze… and you didn’t even realize it until it was too late. In this episode, Matt and Steve share their real-life stories of accidentally consuming alcohol in social situations...

Send us Fan Mail Is it really that bad—or are you just starting to wonder? In this episode of the Sober Friends podcast, we talk about that quiet question many of us ask ourselves: “Do I actually have a problem with alcohol?” You don’t need to lose everything to get sober. We explore what a “high bottom” looks like, how addiction can quietly damage your life long before rock bottom hits, and why q...

Send us Fan Mail What if the person you love isn’t broken—just buried under addiction? In this powerful episode, I sit down with addiction counselor and YouTube creator Amber Hollingsworth of Put The Shovel Down to talk about something we don’t hear enough in recovery: how to actually help a loved one struggling with addiction—without enabling or playing the villain. Amber shares insight from two...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of The Sober Friends Podcast , Matt and Steve get real about something that challenges many of us in sobriety— asking for help and, even harder, accepting it . Whether it’s a neighbor offering to help with yard work or a sponsor helping you through a relapse, support doesn’t always show up the way we expect. And sometimes pride, fear, or shame can keep us from acce...

Send us Fan Mail Getting out of your comfort zone is hard — especially in sobriety. In this episode, Matt and Steve dive into the real-life anxiety of leaving the safe routines of recovery to go on vacation. From travel stress to the fear of asking for help, they unpack how discomfort shows up, how to plan ahead, and why pushing through it can actually strengthen your sobriety. Matt’s heading to O...

Send us Fan Mail In early sobriety, everything feels possible. You’re sleeping better, your skin looks great, and the world seems full of hope—that’s the “pink cloud.” But what happens when that high starts to fade? In this episode of the Sober Friends podcast, Matt and Steve dive into the emotional crash that can come after the early euphoria wears off. We talk about why it happens (hello, brain...