Sober Friends

Send us Fan Mail Sober people are on platform at all times.  One slip up and it's easy for those around to point out why you are not walking the walk.  John kicked things off talking about a new sponsee who was going to a sober retreat.  John didn't want to go, but an oldtimer reminded him, that the sponsee can't go to these without the guidance of his sponsor.  There are so many wa...

Send us Fan Mail Oh boy.  I bet we get everyone upset with this episode.  People who go to AA.  People who don't go to AA.  We go through it all with what we feel are very realistic views on why some people don't go to AA and how 12 step programs are not perfect and how there can be some things that legit turn people off. Credit where credit is due.  This episode was inspired by Episode...

Send us Fan Mail This week's guest is Matt, who started drinking at 13.  Matt was a high achiever, doing well in college and Grad school.  He had a family and a great job.  And he was an alcoholic.   A lot of you will see yourself in Matt.  He was socially awkward until he found alcohol.  He had to be careful in public drinking.  Drinking at home, was another story.  He drank like he did in c...

Send us Fan Mail One of the Sober Instagram accounts we find the most inspiring is @jenmovesforward .  Jen joins us this week to talk about her story, overcoming relapse, making recovery her career and how fitness is part of how she stays sober. In this Sober Friends Episode Jen tells us: How she started using in her teens Knowing in her 20's that she had a problem Losing relationships over d...

Send us Fan Mail The root of our alcoholism and our alcoholic thinking is our character defects.  The 12 Steps are instrumental in getting through our character defects, especially with Steps 4 and 5.  Many of our character defects are associated with fear and ego.  Character defects have a root in selfishness and doing for others is a way to bust them.  Here are ways to work on a character defect...

Send us Fan Mail Matt was inspired by Gill Tietz's Sober Powered episode, Staying Sober During the Holidays .  The episode is much less staying sober during the holidays, and more staying sober at events where booze is available.  Practicable advice for those in recovery for anytime. BBQs Work parties Concerts Ect John, Matt and Steve talked about their experience being on guard for the ungua...

Send us Fan Mail The show is brought to you by Sean, who bought us a coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberfriendspod .  Sean thought it was important to put the show in the newcomer's ear. Recovery is not just for the person getting sober.  Recovery affects the family too.  For us, our family was very happy when we put the bottle down.  But they had a hard time understanding all these...

Send us Fan Mail Ryan M has made recovery a huge part of his life.  He didn't get sober, he got involved.  Ryan has been part of the service culture of AA from his entire time getting sober (March 2013).  Coming into the program in his early 30's, he was attracted to the younger people in his 12 step group and got involved the the Young People in AA organizations.  If you go to a service...

Send us Fan Mail Vacation is a dangerous time for those of us with problem drinking.  Vacation is a great time to suspend all the rules and drink as much as we want.  Hey, it's 5pm somewhere!  Am I right? Or am I right!   On this episode of the Sober Friends podcast, Matt, Steve and John talk about the trap that vacation can cause for us.  It's a risky time because we have time on our ha...

Send us Fan Mail The dictionary definitions of "Abstinence" and "Sobriety" look very similar.  For the purpose of living a happy, joyous and free life in recovery, they can mean very different things.   Overall, Matt, Steve and John identified Abstinent as being dry.  This is a state where alcohol has been removed but nothing has come in to replace it.  To get sober, you have t...

Send us Fan Mail For those of us with a drinking problem, one of the symptoms was isolation and putting up walls to drive others away.  Once some of us get sober we still have a hard time letting others in.  If you discovered what I really am like, you'd see I was a fraud, an awful person and someone you'd be repelled by.  Do you feel this way sometimes? John, Steven and Matt discuss the...

Send us Fan Mail It’s so easy to focus on the bad stuff in life and even easier to correlate them. Matt has had some issues with his house and financing the repairs. At every corner, he’s run into roadblocks (see last week’s episode). Matt’s therapist posed a question: “Have you considered a gratitude list?” So instead of focusing on all the bad stuff, why not look at what good you still have? In...

Send us Fan Mail Oh my!  Financial insecurity.  It's one of those fears that can make you drink and can derail any period of recovery.  One of the AA Promises says: " Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us." Does that mean if financial insecurity pops up again, you've been doing the program incorrectly? Matt J has some financial issues lately.  Along with a lot...

Send us Fan Mail In this compelling episode of the Sober Friends podcast, join Matt, Steve, and John as they dive deep into a powerful story of overcoming addiction and finding hope. As a police officer, Steve shares candidly about the constant state of hypervigilance he experienced on the job and how it intertwined with symptoms of PTSD and alcoholism. From the early days of experimentation with...

Send us Fan Mail Today’s show is dedicated to the memory of Frank C. He helped so many in East Hartford, CT and the surrounding area. When I got sober, I marveled at the old timer. They had respect of the room. They looked content and they were sober. Not just sober, really, really sober with a lot of years. How the hell did they do it? Was it the way they crossed their legs? I was determined to f...

Send us Fan Mail The episode is sponsored by Victor, who became a member at Buy Me a Coffee and agreed to do so each month.  With people like Victor, we can remain self supporting through our own contributions and bring the message to the new guy. Arlina Allen is the host of the One Day at a Time Podcast.  You can find her at https://odaatchat.com/ or wherever you get your podcasts. In this show A...

Send us Fan Mail We got to know Danielle last week, as she reached out to the show on how to handle a disruptive alcoholic at a meeting.  After talking to her, we realized her story would really help the new guy as she brings a remarkable story of recovery. Danielle started drinking, one year after her mother died of ovarian cancer at age 13.  She was always sad and played the victim card, not kno...

Send us Fan Mail Our original intent with this episode was to talk about how we deal with active alcoholics, while now in recovery.  While soliciting some questions on Instagram, Danielle reached out with an issue she is having at her home group.  There is an active alcoholic who comes into the meeting and is disruptive.  This happens regularly.  She wanted some help on what to do in this situatio...

Send us Fan Mail When we were drinking, alcohol was our solution.  It was not just our problem.  Once we got sober, we had to find a solution to life's problems since our old best friend was taken away.  The next level of sobriety is not just being dry, but to have control of how you feel. In this episode, John, Steve and Matt talk emotional sobriety and what it means to them: Being ok feelin...

Send us Fan Mail Eric found him self on the kitchen floor, drunk and getting sick.  It was a low place for him and took another two weeks before he found his way to a rehab.  He ended up in the hospital with blood clots and was lucky to be alive.  Looking around, he realized they saw him as just another drunk and he accepted it too.  He was just another drunk. Against all odds, Eric found a way to...

Send us Fan Mail Howard’s MO early in AA was to come late, leave early and if anyone said anything he didn’t like, he’d just get up and leave.  Howard’s soulful belief was that AA did not work and he was going to prove it.   Just when Howard was about to give up and drink, the fellowship grabbed him and as he headed out the door, asked, “Have you thought of trying it our way?”   That day changed e...

Send us Fan Mail Mr Know it all It's a common refrain for not only the active alcoholic, but for some of us in recovery.  We overcompensate for our insecurities by puffing out our chests so you won't see our insides. There are lots of people who are egomaniacs.  We in recovery are fortunate enough to have a program of action that walks us through how to get this under control. It's...

Send us Fan Mail Resentments are a killer of alcoholics.  When we have a resentment, we are replaying an old memory that may or may not be accurate.  Getting sober means finding a way to work through those emotions and the faulty way we used to perceive them.  In recovery, we have to find a way to handle the bad stuff that comes our way and do it in a way that is healthy and does not cause us to d...

Send us Fan Mail Everything I ever wanted to know when I got in my 12 program, I learned from my sponsor.  The greatest gift to your own sobriety you could ever give yourself, is reaching out the helping hand to someone else sick and suffering.  They may not stay sober, but you sure will. In this episode, John, Matt and Steve talk about Sponsorship.  That first meeting can be scary and you can be...

Send us Fan Mail When Mike C was drinking, he always told himself, if it got that bad, he’d be able to stop. When it did get that bad, Mike found he could not.  On the surface, Mike's life was what you’d normally would say was the envy of everyone, but he felt was dead inside.  Mike was fortunate to have someone come into his life and told him he did not have to feel this way and there was a...