So Your Parents Are Old

Cybersecurity expert and author of The Dark Side of the Boom Patrick Coughlin joins Vanessa to talk about the scams coming for our parents and their bank accounts. They get into AI voice cloning, spoofed numbers, why seniors are such major targets, and what to do when someone calls with an emergency that feels terrifyingly real. Check out Scamwise for help spotting suspicious texts, emails, phone...

What can you actually do to keep your brain healthy — and what is just wellness noise? Vanessa talks with Dr. Silky Pahlajani of Weill Cornell Medicine about Alzheimer’s, women’s brain health, menopause, sleep, stress, depression, hearing, diabetes, and the small habits that may help protect cognition over time.

Senior care advisor Neil Nagraj and podcaster Laura House join Vanessa to talk about the impossible math of senior housing: when aging in place stops working, what assisted living actually is, and why so many families wait for a crisis before making a plan. Also discussed: memory care, Medicaid myths, long-term care insurance, and Gen X’s grim future. Learn more about Neil’s company,  The Senior H...

This is an episode where we get mad! Comedian ⁠Lewis Black⁠ cared for his late elderly parents, who lived to 101 and 104. He talks about something nobody wants to even think about: what he'll do when he's too old to care for himself. Hear more from Lewis in his podcast, ⁠Lewis Black's Rantcast⁠ , or read one of his ⁠books⁠ .

Joan Lunden joins Vanessa to talk about her new memoir, JOAN: Life Beyond the Script , and the moments that forced her off-script: bringing her baby to work at Good Morning America , living through divorce in public, surviving breast cancer, caring for her mother, and deciding what she wants for her own later years.  If you want to hear more about preserving brain health, listen to our episode wit...

This week, we’re sharing an episode from  The Gratitudeology Podcast with Jamie Hess , featuring Jessie Buttafuoco. Jessie opens up about the shocking event that changed her family forever, the media storm that followed, and what it means to revisit a painful chapter with perspective, honesty, and compassion.

When Jonathan Penner’s wife Stacy Title was diagnosed with ALS, their life changed with shocking speed. He joins Vanessa to talk about caregiving, survival, and the hard-won wisdom of staying present even when everything is getting worse.  Connect to resources through Compassionate Care ALS (CCALS) . You can also read the Vulture article about Stacy’s fight to make one final movie: Walking Time Bo...

How do you choose a hospital or senior living community when everything feels impossibly high-stakes? Vanessa talks with two U.S. News & World Report journalists — Ben Harder, managing editor and chief of health analysis, and Liz Pearce, director of senior living — about what those rankings really measure, and what they can’t. See their rankings for Best Hospitals for Rehabilitation , Best Nur...

When a loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, the grieving starts years before the end. In The End Is the Beginning , Jill Bialosky tells her mother’s story in reverse. Jill and Vanessa talk about what it means to “eulogize” someone while they’re disappearing, and how writing can be both tribute and survival. You can read Jill’s New York Times essay on losing her mother during the pandemic. To c...

Elder care and childcare costs are rising fast, while wages and support for caregivers lag behind. Longtime care policy advocate Julie Kashen breaks down how we got here, what it would look like if we treated care as real infrastructure, and offers a surprisingly hopeful framework for what’s still possible. Learn more about Julie's work at The Century Foundation .

Kim Elliott’s caregiving story includes a leukemia diagnosis, a stem cell transplant, and some truly deranged insurance battles. She talks with Vanessa about surviving all of it — and building  Gray Monster  so other caregivers don’t have to start from scratch.

Michelle Boyaner reflects on lives and relationships while sharing insights from her acclaimed film It’s Not a Burden: The Humor and Heartache of Raising Elderly Parents , which explores the joys and struggles of caring for aging loved ones. To connect with the team, find us on ⁠ Instagram⁠ and ⁠ Youtube⁠ , or shoot us an email at soyourparentsareold@gmail.com. We want to hear from you!  Our produ...

In this episode of Infamous , Vanessa and her co-host Natalie Robehmed learn about a wild family drama from The Cut writer Angelina Chapin. It’s about Selena Gomez and her mother Mandy Teefey’s mental-health startup, Wondermind. They discuss the pressures created when celebrity and mental health advocacy become a business. Read Angelina’s story, “ What Happened at Wondermind? ” Read Vanessa’s book...

Anna Holmes joins Vanessa to talk about the unnerving overlap between having a parent with dementia and experiencing perimenopause brain fog, and the terrifying question that raises: is this just aging, or the beginning of something worse? It’s a candid, darkly funny conversation about how to stay present, even when we’re afraid. For more from Anna, you can read her New Yorker article, My Mother’s...

Josh Carter, grandson of President Jimmy Carter, grew up in a family where caregiving wasn’t just a value — it was a way of life. He talks with Vanessa about caring for a grandmother with memory loss, supporting a father with Parkinson’s, and parenting a child with serious medical needs. Learn more about the VEO-IBD Foundation . To connect with the team, find us on ⁠ Instagram⁠ and ⁠ Youtube⁠ , or...

Writer Cody Delistraty joins Vanessa to talk about his book The Grief Cure , a quest narrative through loss, myth, medicine, and modern grief culture. From the controversial diagnosis of Prolonged Grief Disorder to the American obsession with “getting over it,” Cody argues against the promise of closure, for something far messier (and more human). Also discussed: Cody’s articles on mourning in Ame...

What if cognitive decline isn’t inevitable? Dr. Majid Fotuhi, author of The Invincible Brain , explains why the brain is more changeable than we think, and how daily habits can affect blood flow, inflammation, and the memory center of the brain. Vanessa and Dr. Fotuhi cover the difference between normal aging, mild cognitive impairment, and dementia, plus the “five pillars” of brain health. To con...

Vanessa talks with certified financial planner, MarketWatch columnist, and My Mother’s Money author Beth Pinsker about the maddening reality of financial caregiving. They cover long-term care insurance, reverse mortgages, and why all this is ultimately about love, not control. To connect with the team, find us on ⁠ Instagram⁠ and ⁠ Youtube⁠ , or shoot us an email at soyourparentsareold@gmail.com....

Mal Young, the British television producer and writer best known for his work on The Young and the Restless, joins the show to talk about his parents. With warmth and candor, he reflects on their influence, quirks, and the lessons that shaped both his life and career. Learn more about Mal in this interview. To connect with the team, find us on ⁠ Instagram⁠ and ⁠ Youtube⁠ , or shoot us an email at...

If you’re the one keeping the family together—texts, holidays, appointments, feelings—you’re probably “daughtering.” Vanessa talks with Baylor professor and communication expert Allison Alford, author of Good Daughtering, about the invisible work adult daughters do. They dig into guilt, burnout, “daughter rage,” and how to set boundaries that still feel loving (and are actually sustainable). To co...

Vanessa talks with labor leader and care advocate Ai-jen Poo about the panini generation, and what happens when government fails to invest in care infrastructure. To see what you can do to help, check out Ai-jen’s organization, Caring Across Generations . To connect with the team, find us on ⁠ Instagram⁠ and ⁠ Youtube⁠ , or shoot us an email at soyourparentsareold@gmail.com. We want to hear from y...

Comedian and filmmaker Ryan Beck's parents are just starting to get old, but that hasn't stopped them from getting rid of nearly all their worldly possessions and creating a death binder full of useful information in case they die or lose their faculties. But Ryan wonders if they've gone too far with their Swedish death cleaning. Check out Ryan Beck's hilarious short film about his parents' death...

What documents matter most when your parents start needing help? Attorney Candace Dellacona, who calls herself a “family’s lawyer," walks through wills, powers of attorney, healthcare proxies, and the mistakes families make when they wait too long. Check out her podcast, The Sandwich Generation Survival Guide , for even more tips, and you can find Candace for all things estate and elder and sandwi...

Musician and caregiving influencer Chris Punsalan talks with Vanessa about going straight from college to becoming his grandmother’s full-time caregiver. He explains the schedule, strength, and tenderness it took—and why gratitude became his North Star. Learn more about tendercare at trytendercare.com To connect with the team, find us on ⁠ Instagram⁠ and ⁠ Youtube⁠ , or shoot us an email at soyour...

If you’ve ever felt like you spend more time buried in paperwork than with your loved one, you probably do—and it’s exhausting. Caregiving expert Pamela Wilson walks Vanessa through the practical legal and financial steps every family caregiver should know. For more from Pamela, you can check out her website or pick up a copy of The Caregiving Trap: Solutions for Life’s Unexpected Changes . To con...