So Very Wrong About Games

One of the under-appreciated virtues of an auction game is that each session can provide its own economy. While daunting to new players, who don't know what things might be worth, their flailing speculation actually helps determine what things are worth. If they buy that share of red for a squillion moneys, guess what, that is what that market would bear. At least for now, that is. Some jerk might...

While we pride ourselves on our internationalist focus here at SVWAG, we have been remiss in our multilingualism lately. While we reliably rendezvous with French on a semi-regular basis, a skosh of Japanese here and there, a quantum of Latin periodically, and whatever language AYURIS pretends to be, our Spanish could use some work. We thus devote ourselves to utter three whole words of Spanish in...

All I need to know about animal reproduction I learned from Uwe Rosenberg. I suspect many people have The Talk, which in my case was my father teaching me how to play Agricola. Navigating my twenties in utter ignorance wasn't easy, but now that Uwe has told me about the birds and the bees (and the sheep and the pigs and the cows) via Agricola I'm practically a biologist. 01:25 AYURIS: Dead Reckoni...

After a prolonged period where we have not discussed Kramer & Kiesling (the Kramer & Ulrich duo yielded El Grande, which we mention rather frequently), here we see a bumper krop of K&K kollaborations. The gibbons are fickle, and even the mighty Wolfgang and Michael must yield to their whims. But fortune (and apes) have at last smiled on them, and we revel in the classic Euro goodness as well as th...

In the vast panoply of human misfortunes, it is often fruitless to try to rank misery. Was historical tragedy X worse or better than atrocity Y? It seems callous to ask. That said, thanks to the applied research of a retired ethicist with the aid of Reiner Knizia's Zoo Vadis, we have conclusively discovered that it is better to be extorted by a marmoset than assaulted by an armadillo. Thus is huma...

Before the people of Quebec celebrated the Journée nationale des Patriotes (National Patriots' Day), they instead on the same day had the Fête de Dollard. A cynic might speculate that the timing of these holidays was chosen so as to pre-empt the English Canadian Victoria Day, and that cynic would be right. Games Played Last Week: 01:21 -Dice Flick (Rami Gaber, Pegasus Spiele, 2021)  04:49 -A Messa...

It is striking that no one submitted a question regarding the hues of our auras, so allow us to address the issue here and declare that amber is the colour of our energy. I regret nothing. 01:39 AYURIS: Capital Lux 2: Generations (Eilif Svensson & Kristian Amundsen Østby, Aporta Games, 2020) Games Played Last Week: 03:46 -G.I. JOE Deck-Building Game: Raise the Flagg Campaign Expansion (T.C. Petty...

There is only one novel and commendable Kant pun, delivered in the novel and commendable film Hedwig and the Angry Inch: "I got kicked out of university after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of German philosophy on rock and roll, entitled, 'You, Kant, Always Get What You Want.'" 01:41 AYURIS: Mosaic: A Story of Civilization (Glenn Drover, Forbidden Games, 2022) Games Pla...

We are storytellers here at SVWAG. This week, we tell the stories of mismatched plagues with dead llamas posing as European dudes, of quixotic strivings for yet more skirmish games, of famous philosophers who hustled cards. Of course, if you wish to hear different stories, the power is yours! You have but to submit your questions for the upcoming Omnibus Questions episode, and all your idle demand...

No topic is off-limits for the upcoming return of our Omnibus Questions, as we demonstrate in this episode by tackling such issues as pre-Reformation papal indulgences. And if you were to guess which host brought up that little historical nugget, you'd be wrong! Possible questions: who would win in a street fight, J.G. Fichte or Nietzsche? Do sheep poop? Who is the best member of Team Avatar? (Fic...

While we have little experience with Ed Sullivan's TV offerings, his legacy is a fascinating one. While he capitulated to pressure during the Red Scare, he did show remarkable courage in platforming African American performers despite opposition from his sponsors. Quite surprising is that the illness that eventually killed him was kept a secret from him by his family, a practise that was already f...

It is said that both politics and religion are not good conversational fodder among people you don't know well (and perhaps not even for people with whom you are close), but sadly those are among Mark's favourite topics. The sun having been devoured may cause the astronomers to be delighted, but Mark knows a portent when he sees one, and he is confident some kind of sacrifice to appease violent sp...

I never really understood the term "undead." I mean, it's a binary, right? If it's not dead it must be alive, at least in the context of things that could or were once alive. The negation never seemed to be doing enough work to imply what it was intended to imply. That is, until Walker and Mark got sick. They're not dead, but going straight to "alive" seems a rather hopeful exaggeration. Undead se...

We haul ourselves off of our deathbeds to deliver this episode unto you. Prospects for our recovery seem dim, but we would sooner die than deprive you of that which is most sacred--namely content. Of course, illness may yet claim us, but we are far too stoic and noble to complain. 01:49 AYURIS: Stroganov (Andreas Steding, Game Brewer, 2021) Games Played Last Week: 04:46 -Hissy Fit (Levi Robertson...

We present to you a specially chemically-enhanced episode. Walker has been doping specifically in preparation, eschewing any sustenance other than military-grade lozenges. Mark will be performing his hosting duties while fully immersed in a tank of benzocaine oral painkiller. It is a good thing that the International Olympic Committee has no sway here in SVWAG studios, or we would likely get disqu...

For reasons both personal and highly arbitrary, the SVWAG style guide (authored by gibbons, of course) does not countenance using the word "teach" as a noun, with the possible exception as a casual nickname for a teacher. Thus a game does not, in our parlance, have a "teach" except insofar as you call the person explaining the rules to you "teach". As in, "yo, teach, thanks for doing this thankles...

Before shouting about toys professionally, Mark taught ethics at a health sciences university. He discussed matters of life and death, of cutting edge controversial technologies, of war and politics, and matters of fundamental rights and duties. He has learned two lessons from those experiences: never ever talk about animal rights with a pit bull owner, and his views on Mass Effect are vastly more...

Walker was all like "there's this card effect in Successors" and Mark was all like "nuh-uh" but Walker was like "yeah, fer sure" and Mark goes "no way" and Walker says "way" and that's a 100% accurate transcript. 01:53 AYURIS: Dice Realms (Thomas Lehmann, Rio Grande Games, 2022) Games Played Last Week: 04:07 -Lorenzo il Magnifico (Flaminia Brasini, Virginio Gigli, and Simone Luciani, Cranio Creati...

The theory of the atom first posited by the pre-Socratic philosopher Democritus in roughly the 4th Century BCE. None of his actual writings have survived. The great thing about the pre-Socratics is that so few of their works are available, you can spend about ten minutes (or less!) and have read as much of their stuff as have the world's leading experts.  Games Played Last Week: 01:53 -Kingdom Rus...

Every man wants to be a macho, macho man To have the kind of body always in demand Jogging in the mornings, go man go Work outs in the health spa, muscles glow You can best believe that he's a macho man Ready to get down with, anyone he can You can tell a macho, he has a funky walk His western shirts and leather, always look so boss Funky with his body, he's a king Call him Mister Ego, dig his cha...

Let us, following in Andy Schwarz's example, highlight the fine work of Nancy Skinner, a California state senator whose "Fair Pay to Play Act" granted college athletes in California the right to profit from their name, image, and likeness. This forced the NCAA to allow such changes more broadly. It hasn't been perfect, but let's acknowledge one thing: if someone's gonna be making millions off your...

It has been many a year since our early days, our salad days when we were younger and dumb and didn't know what we were doing. Much has changed, in that we are now older and dumb and don't know what we're doing. But the inexorable march of time has at least offered many new offerings in the broad tent of dexterity games, and so it is past time that we focus on one of our preferred genus of toy. 01...

A pretty solid rule of thumb is that if you've been disappointed in a kind of game, try David Thompson's version of it and see how delightful it can be. Hidden movement got you down? Sniper Elite is the cure. Abstract chunky tiled fighty thing didn't please? War Chest might please. Mediocre skirmish cramping your style? For What Remains is ready to serve. It's a good thing he has styles of games h...

As ever, and with no clue what a lang syne is (much less an auld-y type configuration), we embrace the new year by commemorating the old. We would venture that the new year only truly begins once SVWAG has given its imprimatur on the best game published in the preceding year. The Julian Calendar was abandoned in favour of the Gregorian, and it is evident that the Gregorian should be abandoned in f...

Heraclitus, an ancient Greek philosopher, claimed that you never step in the same river twice; for it is not the same river and you are not the same person. Such as it is with games! They are reprinted and thus reborn, all along some blurred spectrum of redesign spanning from carbon copy all the way to entirely new design. Let us not forget Heraclitus' student Cratylus, who evidently thought Herac...