So Very Wrong About Games

We are an easily-triggered group, we geeks, we nerds; so allow us to exercize due diligence and offer the following warnings. Spoiler Alert: we discuss what spoilers are. Meta Alert: we get pretty meta about spoilers. Existentialism Alert: Walker gets pretty existential (parenthetical alert: you might have figured Mark would instead, but he has very little time for existentialism, being more moder...

We've always been here. Waiting, in this basement, yelling into the can. When we invented podcasts all those years ago it was merely as avenue for our pre-existing subterranean discourse. Now some of you have joined us, and our labours are no longer in vain. Once the power dies out, we'll still be here, yelling into the can. About boardgames. Games Played Last Week: -Race for the Galaxy: Xeno Inva...

Reading your audience is a hard thing, and not even just when blasting your errant opinions over the interwebs. Mark couldn't read the room when Walker requested a certain game, and that didn't end well. Walker couldn't perceive Mark's growing misgivings about the feature game. This one time I thought a baby boy was a baby girl and the parents were very offended. Life is hard! Games Played Last We...

I hope you're planning your Arkhipov Day festivities. Don't get me wrong, I dig Stanislav Petrov as much as the next guy, but for my money Vasili Arkhipov is the man, and he doesn't get nearly enough credit. Because, you know, he either saved your life or your ancestors' lives--the least we could do is give the man a holiday. He doesn't even have a card in Twilight Struggle! See, I brought it back...

We're always wondering about what comes next, always on the lookout for the next big thing--both in games and broadcasting. That's why we're open to being elevated to the judiciary, so the next time there's a search committee feel free to add Mark and Walker to the ol' shortlist. We're open to traveling, so it doesn't have to be any particular country. We hear The Hague is nice? Games Played Last...

We would like to apologize for the poorer audio quality of this episode. The editor (Mark) would dearly like to attribute it somehow to Walker's illness-induced stupor, but try as he might he can't seem to blame the victim on this one. The microphone has let us all down, dear listeners, and all we can do is vow not to repeat the twin errors--the one being the reduced audio quality, the other in Ma...

Sometimes, dear listeners, the news does matter, and in such instances our hosts feel under-equipped to address them properly. Such is the nature of crippling incompetence. I mean, they could have devoted their time to worthwhile pursuits (like playing games) but instead they shout into a can to strangers (about playing games). But sometimes circumstances demand a brief segue into matters of conse...

Oh, hello there. The door's unlocked--just come on in. Please pardon our informal setting, here, we just want you to be comfortable. I suppose, though, that a tone of complete familiarity shouldn't prevent us from doing introductions. I'm the episode description, and I'm the thing you don't read. Our hosts are Mark Bigney and Mike Walker, and they're the ones you don't respect. Stay with us for a...

Walker, ever truculent, finally succumbs to the inevitable and submits his top ten. Now we can move on, and it is best we do, as there is no shortage of games to be played! Gencon is over and the new releases flow like sweet chocolate milk. Despite this pressure, Mark and Walker find the time to indulge in old classics of yesteryear, and not just the "classics" from "back in the day" of "2012".Gam...

We are but slaves to your whims here at SVWAG, and when our massed masters demand that we dance for their amusement, we must perforce oblige. We resisted for a time, but clearly that was folly. The people have spoken, and their demands will be met: we will descend to the realm of clickbait and listicles and present to your our top 10 games. Walker remains dubious of the enterprise, but Mark is con...

Since the dawn of time, predating recorded history, there has been the genius of Reiner Knizia. The Code of Hammurabi taught its readers how to play Tigris & Euphrates. Enkidu had his own custom set fashioned from the bones of his enemies. Gilgamesh sought immortality merely so he had enough time to git gud. Marduk once accidentally flooded the world in enthusiasm over a blue external conflict. It...

This episode enters the Fire Swamp, the reputed lair of the R.O.U.S.--the Rodents of Unusual Size. Mark doesn't think they exist. We go in-depth into Thunderstone Quest, a long-serving deckbuilder that is a loyal as a farm boy. Walker announces that take-that cards killed his father, and they should prepare to die. I guess Andre the Giant shows up...? Games Played Last Week:-Gaslands 3m46s (Glenn...

This week we stumble on the terrible, horrifying fact that there are other hobbies than boardgames, and we take pity on those poor lamented souls who are enslaved in their thrall. Just what is scrapbooking, anyway? Walker has a theory, but no one is really sure. We should thus feel blessed that we chosen few enjoy the hobby that we do, and so we discuss ways to try to be decent while doing so. Gam...

A reminder that there is no necessary connection between our feature game and our topic. We would not divest ourselves of SEAL Team Flix, The Only Game that Matters, if for no other reason than we need it on hand so we can talk about it and only it for perpetuity. That, and it's great. Sorry, spoilers! Oh, and Walker was Keyser Söze the entire time. Games Played Last Week:-Cthulhu Wars 1m28s (Sand...

It is important to stay flexible, and follow the ways of those who practise judo and jiu-jitsu. That is why we choke people as often as we can. Wait, that's not right. Rather, it is important to be supple and adaptable. We had intended to be on time and talking about different things, but sundry unrelated crises have changed both of those plans. We apologize for the delay, but we are confident our...

We here at SVWAG take acronyms very seriously, but sometimes get carried away with such abbreviations. As a public service announcement, allow me to remind all of you that TI:4 stands for Twilight Imperium 4th Edition. It is purely coincidental that I mention this in the context of an episode dealing with games that have turn order problems. It is also a coincidence that Kemet is the feature game...

You can have too much of a good thing, which is why Mark always tries to interrupt Walker before he can finish a single sentence. Of course, "too much" is a highly subjective idea, whether applied to game length or pie. This week Keyflower is discussed, which is not too long but can feel too short--except if it were not too short it would be too long. Clear enough. Games Played Last Week:-Star War...

We delve into the culinary arts here at So Very Wrong About Games; having failed at math but excelling in eating, both Mark and Walker eschew conventional rating systems for gastronomical ones. They had considered rating the rating systems themselves, but were reminded of the podcast's firm stance against paradoxes. So, they threw all their pies into a bag and drew them randomly. It's been a confu...

Walker encourages you to tell friends about So Very Wrong About Games, despite his not listening to the podcast. Mark has recommended it to him, but apparently Walker's contempt for his co-host's opinions is not limited to games, but extends also to the podcast they produce together about games. One assumes Walker also does not read the episode descriptions, which is truly risky, and might create...

Mark tries to come to terms with his outright hypocrisy, largely on the basis that he feels it's acceptable for him but not for everyone else. Walker yearns for glory, but learns to his disappointment that glory is not legal tender and cannot be exchanged for goods or services. Lords of Hellas offer such piercing insights into the soul, "self-knowledge" being one of its 43 victory conditions. Also...

As it happens, games do not spawn ex nihilo, fully armed and armored from Zeus' forehead. I'm certain that's what most of you believed, but it's not true! To confirm this implausible fact, Mark sat down with Eric Reuss, the designer of Spirit Island, to talk about stuff. Walker and Mark also discuss The City of Kings, a game that is a fascinating mixture of euro mechanics, grand adventure, and bot...

This podcast scales seamlessly from 2 to an in finite number of listeners, but we're not nearly that optimistic. Walker sometimes dreams of a solo mode, but sadly Mark insists on speaking. Mark and Walker again turn to Vlaada Chvatil, a designer who loves idiosyncrasy and detail--sometimes to excess. Walker asks if it would be appropriate to rant, and Mark gladly lets him off leash. Games Played L...

You wouldn't like Mark when he's angry, but that's probably attributable to his being fundamentally unlikable at the best of times. At any rate, Walker tries to rein him in from ranting too long about obvious component failures, publisher laziness, and alleged outright theft. Walker, for his part, just wants things to mean something. We are seekers here at So Very Wrong About Games. Games Played L...

Mark and Walker delve into matters of criminal justice this week, pondering the balance and tradeoffs between deterrence, retribution, and rehabilitation. Walker seems to think that Bunny Kingdom a form of cruel and unusual punishment, whereas Mark seems to think that any form of travel is necessarily a form of inhumane rendition. Anyway, they're sellouts now, so if you send them free stuff in the...

Times are bad--children no longer respect their elders and everyone is running a Kickstarter. Nostalgia fuels our news segment today, with varying levels of scorn for cherished memories. For those of you playing along at home with their So Very Wrong About Games bingo cards, Walker talks about a Mystic Vale expansion and Mark brings up Macross--let us know if that makes five in a row. Games Played...