Smashterpieces

This Fire Emblem game looks really weird The war will continue soon, more Fire Emblem is to come!

Draw thy blade, it is time to enter the world of war and strife, struggle and conflict, death and resets. Here there is no happiness, only pain, but there could be happiness at the end of this tunnel. The only way to find out is to fight. Florina died again. Today’s episode is discussing the first ten chapters of Smashterpiece #43: Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade, or just Fire Emblem as it is known...

Hello everyone, this is Matt. I’ve wrested Joe’s keyboard away from him to bring you this urgent message: I’m being held hostage in game #42: The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, and I need you to come save me. I believe I’m being kept in a bad dungeon, which I understand doesn’t narrow it down very much. Oh god, he’s coming, make sure you burn this message before he can— Matt has unfortunately an...

Oh god Wind Waker’s taking forever, this is technically our third bonus episode in a row, what have we do-… Oh uh, hey I didn’t see you there! Uh… P-pirate crocodiles, am I right? What’s up with them? They kidnap your friend and you have to take your girlfriend to beat them up? And your girlfriend has hair that she can like… uh… she can pick stuff up and be a helicopter and uh… um… This bonus epis...

Do you feel that? The dread? The fear? The anxiety? Mostly the dread though, it’s the one that’s in the title so I guess it’s the most important. Please stop talking, or that evil robot is going to find us. What? I’m the one who’s been talking this whole time? Have I at least been telling you about this new bonus episode from Smashterpieces on 2021’s Metroid Dread for the Nintendo Switch? Yes? Wha...

Your mission is simple: you’ll be sent in solo and quietly, armed with nothing but a single handgun. All other equipment will have to be procured on site. We don’t know what you’ll find in there, but satellite imagery doesn’t paint a pretty picture. Your orders are to kill on sight, do not attempt to speak to the targets about anything, do not engage with the targets about anything, do not make ey...

In the reaches of space, below the surface of planet Plagiarism, Joe and Melanie faced video games. They destroyed their operation, wiped out the parasites called gamers, and defeated Mother Brain. But the games were far from finished… Because they still have like 40 of them left on their list. One of those games is Smashterpiece #41: Metroid Prime, one of the very few first-person shooters on our...

Look, I want to write a snappy, surreal, weird description for this episode but frankly this game already does so much of my work for me that it feels like cheating. I mean come on, the main villain’s name is Brad. It’s just Brad. Everybody else is named like Saki or Airan or Achi and then there’s just a dude named Brad. How am I supposed to compete with that? Should I just retire? Is this where I...

Hello, I am writing to you from a jail cell on the beautiful, tropical Isle Delfino. I know that may sound like I am in a setting most would only dream, full of swaying palm trees, sunny beaches, and drinks that are five types of alcohol dumped into a coconut, but I regret to inform you that I am having no such experience. Upon disembarking the plane I was immediately arrested for a crime committe...

Look, normally this would be where I wrote this weird abstract abomination to the English language that would cause everybody reading to reach out and ask if I’m okay, but I don’t know, man… 2021 was not a great year for most people, ourselves included. But that doesn’t mean that Smashterpieces did not have a banger of a year. We have to take stock sometimes and remind ourselves that hey we actual...

One fateful day in the year 1925, somebody drew some sketches of mice around a picture of Walt Disney. Eventually in 1928 that led to the creation of Mickey Mouse in the cartoon short Steamboat Willie (I should note it was not Walt who designed this character but was instead his friend and colleague Ub Iwerks). From there he was like a runaway steamboat into a town of innocent people, except in th...

Alright, folks, let’s continue today’s tour of the Video Game Historical Excavation Site. Oh, what’s this? One of our excavators appears to have found something in the soft earth! Why, it’s a copy of a platformer from the long bygone era of 2002! I’m afraid this discovery means that we must shut down the site to visitors for the day, but don’t you worry! You’ll be given a complimentary recording o...

Yet another milestone on our timeline has been reached! Today we talk about the game that refuses to die, no matter what those surrounding it do or say. A competitive titan, a wavedashing masterpiece, a space fox’s dream. That’s right, everybody, today we discuss the legendary Super Smash Bros Melee, the early GameCube title that would take the foundation of its predecessor and become a template f...

CAPTAIN’S LOG: We have crash landed on an alien planet, the various parts of our craft have been scattered amongst the foliage. For awhile we were able to scrounge up the necessary resources we needed to survive but at around the two week mark our inspiring story with themes of determination and grit quickly transformed into a tragedy. Joe was the first to go, a bird sprouting from the ground as i...

Hello and welcome to our latest seminar on the housing market in the Mushroom Kingdom, I know you’re all dying to get started so I’ll make this quick. Our usual speakers are here but we have also prepared a guest speaker presentation on the subject of what to do if you win a mansion in a contest you don’t remember winning, only to find that the mansion is full of ghosts and the boss of all those g...

Welcome to the first and likely final meeting of this HOA, we’re glad you’ve taken the time out of your busy schedule to be with us today. We don’t want to keep you here for too long so let’s just go ahead and jump into it, shall we? Today’s agenda is a collection of neighborhood complaints from the town of Smash that have been combined to form what we’re calling Smashterpiece #35: Animal Crossing...

Hello and welcome, we’re delighted that you have chosen to join us on the Smashterpieces Pokémon Photo Safari Extravaganza. Please remember to keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times, Smashterpieces will not be held responsible for any loss of limb or other bodily harm you may sustain during your time spent with us. Each of you has been provided with three tools, all of them of vi...

All rise for the honorable Judge Toadsworth. Today we find ourselves at the trial of one of history’s greatest monsters. This sick individual took advantage of the tired and weary at the worst possible moment, sick and desperate they clung to his lab coat begging for a cure he knew he did not have, and yet… he persisted. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this individual calls himself Dr. Mario, bu...

The crowd cheers, the combatants face each other. Here come the pokéballs, the battle is about to begin in earnest! Oh, it’s Alakazam! Oh, it’s Wooper! This does not seem like a fair fight, but let’s see how it plays out. Well, that Alakazam was knocked out before I even had a chance to blink, what an amazing battle this has been. While we wait for the next Pokémon to emerge, let’s take a second t...

Let us look back, far into the past (roughly around 2001, so basically ancient). In the wondrous land of “Bun-Jee” a small single celled organism called “combat” enjoyed a carefree existence. But one day combat found itself in the shadow of a larger being called a MICROSOFT. At first it was afraid, but eventually the two formed a symbiotic relationship, and thus combat… evolved. Yes, I am aware th...

Hello, we’re back once agaI’M GONNA WIN! … We are here to talk abouYOU’VE HAD IT! … Can I please just get a full sentence out beCAN’T WIN ‘EM ALL! … This is seriously gratiYOU’RE WASTING MY TIME! I beg of you, just let me… oh, they’re done. Cool. Today’s discussion is about Smashterpiece #32: Pokémon Puzzle League, a reskin of Tetris Attack which in itself was a reskin of Panel de Pon. Why did we...

We’ve heard the words of many a wise guide throughout our years, a mentor or simply a person on the street trying to give us words to uplift us in a time of struggle. Sometimes however these beings of great knowledge instead ask us questions, ones meant to help us come up with our own wisdom that we too can pass on to those who come after. So we pass the question we were asked to you: Can you feel...

Look, all I’m saying is that we were all sitting around, minding our own business, playin’ a nice friendly game of poker. Then BOOM. A witch blows up our house, does that seem fair to you? Really should’ve paid extra for that witch insurance… also probably should have taken out a life insurance policy on Bottles. Hindsight is 20/20, I guess. Today’s episode is about Smashterpiece #31: Banjo-Tooie,...

The conclusion of our Bear & Bird adventure is coming soon, but for now it’s New Year’s Eve and it seems fitting to take this opportunity to look back and then look forward. We released episodes on ten games from our list this year, starting with Game & Watch Gallery and ending out on Majora’s Mask. What are our main takeaways from these experiences? How do we feel about the four bonus epi...

It’s time to take a brief detour from our witch hunting adventures and head back up into space real quick. We hear there’s some parasites that are just no good! Today’s bonus episode is on the 2002 Game Boy Advance title Metroid Fusion, where we join Samus on her journey to defeat the X Parasites. How do we think this game compares to Super Metroid? Why are all the bosses so absurdly difficult? Ho...