Slaughterhouse Princess

It took quite a while but we finally got around to watching this recommendation from Mr. Green(e).  It's not you, it's us.  We just needed some time to kinda find ourselves, you know?

In the spirit of full disclosure, we mistakenly refer to the Krites as Critters throughout this episode.  We apologize for the oversight.

With Troy still wandering the tundra, we needed reinforcements, but the best we could do was Biteums.  So get your maggot filled skull candle ready for this star-studded (no really it is) movie.

While Troy is off in the frozen wastes, we take a look at a movie that is based on a Lovecraft story, because that always works out well.

We finish up the Human Centipede trilogy thanks to Hotlanta.  Don't worry, his streak of picking movies we don't want to watch remains untarnished.

While not a horror movie, it does feature Cyborg Kaori as Beatboxing maidservant, so it all evens out.

Fun fact: The working title for this movie was "120ish Minutes of People Getting Their Fingernails Ripped Off and Some Kind of Science Stuff Around the Edges" but it was too long to fit on the marquee.

It's time for one of our favorite things, watching a sequel to a movie even though we never watched the first one.  Although in fairness, this movie has nothing to do with the first one anyway.

Get ready for a classic film with no Michael Kane, factually accurate salmon, and our continued commitment to not be able to remember the order of events in anything we watch.

Grab a rat beer and harness your salamander based electrical as we try to solve the mystery of why this needed to be almost two hours long.

No Troy this time and the movie up is directed by Uwe Boll.  There is definite correlation and very possible causation for when Troy will be "out of town".

We celebrate Father's Day in the only way that seemed right, coincidentally watching a made for TV movie from Japan in 1967 that features the word Son in the title.

Get your cameras out and don't stop filming no matter what, it's found footage time.   Will we get treated to a Cannibal Holocaust, or will we have a Paranormal Activity inflicted upon us?  Only time and this podcast will tell.

This time we almost manage to make a podcast that is as long as the movie we watched, thanks to our old friends digressing, self deprecation, and alcohol.

This movie serves as a warning about why you should never take a child's puzzle-based erotica and threaten to burn it.

We were of two minds as we tried to piece together our feelings on this dark comedy by way of Stuart Gordon.

We watched the movie After. Life, not to be confused with the website after.life which seems to be some kind of electro dance outfit.  Not that you would be confused unless you thought this was some kind of website review podcast.

In what might be a surprise to nobody, this is a slasher movie that takes place at a summer camp.  Don't worry, it has it where it counts.

The scariest thing about this movie is that the Director's Cut, which we watched, is almost two and a half hours long.  Yikes.

Get your tumblers of straight vodka and frozen pizzas ready, we have a long movie this week. At least we have special guest Bitems on this week to help us get through it.

Get ready for more merkins than you can shake a stick at, which in this case is just one.  But it a very pronounced merkin, so that has to count for something.

Get ready for high-ish fantasy and sci-fi's lovechild who has a poor understanding of what a glaive actually is.  We all know the real glaive is the friends you made along the way.

Not to be confused with just any old Neon Demon, this is THE Neon Demon. You can tell because of all the Mountain Pumas.

Ever wondered what Lost would be like if it had a lower budget, was a movie instead of a TV series, and was way more focused on the collapse of the entire constructs of heaven and hell?  This movie, I mean why else would we bring it up?

In our inadvertent second installment of people from Iowa are weird, we get geography lessons, baseball field shootings, and medical pitchforks.  That's Iowa for you.