Shut Up Cincinnati

Hello taint touchers!  Join us this week as we solve all the world's problems.  Chris tries a new butt toy.  Jason warns guys to stop wearing sandals unless they want to die alone.  No one likes tipping on take out orders.  Where did the stripper put a man's dentures?  How can you buy meth and heroin in Canada from a mobile truck?  Why do people that can't handle their alcohol pretend like they go...

Bonjour buttsniffers!   Join us for the most important podcast in the world.  Chris crosses another feat off his bucket list and visits a rub and tug.  Jason has a dream where he joins a cult and murders people.  After months of begging like a couple of sissies, a few listeners email the show.  Jason tries to convince Chris the Bengal's draft didn't suck.  The guys talk about the finer points of J...

What it be, pecker peepers?  Join us for a most fabulous podcast where we solve all the world's mysteries.  What kind of poop did Cleopatra use as birth control?  Will Tucker Carlson and Don Lemon die alone in squalor after losing their jobs?  Will the Bengal's draft a punter in the first round and will anyone draft a white cornerback?  Will the Hairy Guy get laid in Spain or will he just disappoi...

Howdy Doody peckerheads!  This week the guys are joined by Brent Wolgamott.  Brent is an open book and this episode gets fun quick when he shows the guys one of his openings just a minute or so into the show.  We tackle stereotypes, play a round of "Top or Bottom", and learn some new terms.  Brent finds out that Chris is his straight spirit animal.  I can't do this episode justice in the summary s...

Hello pecker peepers!   The guys are solo after getting ditched by another guest.  We still get around to solving all the world's biggest problems.  Can Kishon finally pay Chris in a timely matter or is it more funny to watch Chris get angry about it every year?  Will Jason finally lose fat on the new Hollywood diet drug?  On Naked and Afraid, Chris would bring a fishing pole and Jason would bring...

Howdy doody pecker heads!  Welcome to another super duper important podcast!  We answer all of life's biggest mysteries.  Why would someone want you to ejaculate on their windows?  Who showed their dong at a local Petsmart?  Why is Chris obsessed with his friend's giant schlong after all these years?   What kind of doctor acts shocked over the size of a kid's unit?  If you haven't noticed yet, the...

What's up buttercups?  Join the fellas this week for a chat about the most important crap ever.  Does it hurt to get kicked in the dong if the sack isn't touched?  Is leg and pit hair on a lady a deal breaker?  Which decade was better, the 80ties or 90ties?  Would you pee on Taylor Swift's feet if they were on fire?  Will Percocet make you last longer in the sack?  Chris updates us on the body bui...

Hello peckerheads!  Whoopi joins the show this week to fill us in on the world's happenings.  Can Jason find a way to blow Derek Jeter and get one his famous gift baskets in exchange?    Do we call all ex-boxers "champ" just to make them feel good for being punchy?  Is pornstar, Lela Star, a hero for banging her fans?  Jason decides to style his hair like the Hairy Guy.  Whoopi and Chris are looki...

Happy March turd-cutters!  Nathan joins us for a super important conversation about nothing of importance.  Jason tells us he's losing weight so he can make fun of fat people and live longer than Chris.  Chris claims his jaw won't fall off from tobacco products although according to Jason he may get forehead cancer from vaping.  Nathan comes from strong stock seeing how his grandma smoked 100 ciga...

We're finally back after taking a week off due to Chris coming down with a bad case of Monkey Pox.  Jason visits the doctor and finds out he's fat.  Chris is a big dummy and messed up his dental surgery.  The City of Cincinnati sucks at basically everything.  FC Cincinnati shouldn't need renovations after being open for a few years and especially if their team sucks.  Good weed makes you cough mor...

What's happening, lactating goat-nips!  Join the guys this week as everything goes wrong with the show.  Music doesn't work.  Bits aren't together.  Jason almost burnt down the studio and his house.  Chris has some advice on a toy that will give you monster loads.  The Chief of the Navaho Nation shoots up an Asian grocery store in Evandale, Ohio to keep everyone compliant in Japan.  Lil Nick stops...

Hey there barf-tits!  Come join your local pecker heads for a brilliant conversation that solves all the world's problems.  Jason fell down some stairs like a dumb fatty.  Chris has been doing cuck research.  Although it's not completely their fault, the refs in the AFC championship game can choke on a satchel of donkey dongs.  The Speedway in North Bend serves their burgers frozen.  Why are cops...

Bow your head to Satan and join your favorite chuckle heads as they host 2023's Celebrity Death Pool.  Will this be the year that Michael J Fox finally stops shaking?  Will he take Doc with him?  Could we lose both Cheech and Chong in the same year?  Why does someone think Blanket Jackson is going to die?  Will the Aids get the best of Charlie Sheen?  Will someone finally bludgen Jerry Sandusky to...

Hey turd sniffers, it's that time of the week!  Everyone's favorite knuckleheads gather around a few microphones and talk out their asses.  Whoopi calls in and plays a game of "Who's Dong is Bigger-Celebrity Edition."  The guys laugh at a couple of dorks in California that were really bad at being racist.  Chris scheduled his second butthole waxing.   Duke Energy sucks really bad and you should fe...

Gather the chaps and listen in as the guys discuss all the finer things in life and answer all the important questions.  What's the point of lasting longer if your pecker can't feel a thing?  Why did Elon Musk's ego make him lose more money than anyone in history?  Why was Mike Brown dumb enough to turn down Deion Sanders in his prime?  What is the difference between a honkey and a cracker?  Jason...

The guys are back for the first podcast of the year.  We talk about the Damar Hamblin situation and how everyone makes it about themselves.  Jason is annoyed with the people of Cincinnati patting themselves on the back.  Chris just wants Sam's Club to carry his roast.  Shut Up Cincinnati condoms are about to hit the shelves of your house if you play your cards right.  Sports gambling is live in Oh...

Last podcast of year for your local knuckleheads and we're joined by #1 fan that Hairy Guy.  We discuss how dart players have no chance at romance.  Hairy Guy bets Chris that he can go a year without getting off for a very low price.  Jason has a hewo that shoots up mushroom tea.  Chris hates truck drivers.  Hairy Guy hates Joey Votto and it angers the boys.  We update the dramatic finish to the 2...

The lovely, Miss Sam joins the guys in the studio.  We delve into all the hot button issues in the world.  Sam claims to have never sharted as an adult and also isn't interested in an elephant penis play toy.  Jason is raging mad at Bryan at Anderson Valvoline.  Chris gives Jason his Christmas present.  We wonder how much money Sam could make on OnlyFans if she decides to go full gape.  Even Chris...

Hey frothy lips!  Join the fellas for a lovely chat about everything and nothing all at once.  Should Chris cuck a body building couple?  Are all people from the South dumb?  A local bum attacks a friend.  Used car salesman preachers ruin everything.  Chris has a long booger.  The aging cocksmith drops knowledge on the how to put a lady in the mood with a good massage.  All that and a bucket of ya...

Hey peckernecks!  Hat Mudson and Nathan B. join the guys to collectively form the heavyweights and deliver a podcast that delves into all that is fat.  We name our fattest orders, our favorite fast food items, what not to eat, and who can see their pecker when naked.  Chris tries his best to make us talk about naked dudes with him but we steer back to fat topics as best as we could.  Also, Nate ha...

It's been a wild week in the world of stupid and the guys are here to wrap it up and put a bow on it for the Christmas season.  Jerry Jones hates segregation.  Chris and Kayne both love Hitler.  Squirters ruin furniture.  Joe Biden craps on the unions.  Chris's neighbor Holly doesn't clean up her dog's poop.  Soccer still sucks.  Jason wants a big hat like Brian Robinson Jr.  We get an email from...

Happy Thanksgiving, pecker checkers!  Feast upon this fabulous podcast while you argue with all your shitty relatives.  Will you be having bass for Thanksgiving Dinner like a real native?  Jason diagnoses Chris with autism....again.  Elon Musk is a dork.  Bruce Springsteen is no longer Bruce Springsteen.  Chris giggles like a child at parody porn titles.  Jason's kid thinks homeless people smell b...

Join your local fart knockers for another life saving podcast about all the most important stuff.  Chris doesn't like vibrating anal beads.  Jason thinks Kari Lake is a window licker.  We join in to hate on Taylor Swift and the concert industry in general.  Do buttholes bounce back from use just as well as vaginas?   Do you need a penis in your porn or will lesbian porn do it for you?  Did you kno...

Whoopi joins the guys this week for another super important discussion about nothing.  Jason is disappointed that Aaron Carter didn't kill himself with some real drugs.  Chris gives his review for a recently purchased rubber butthole / vagina / mouth sex toy.  The guys wonder if they know a pedophile.   Jason tries to convince Chris to start an Onlyfans page where he dresses his penis up like past...

The guys are once again not joined by Wyclef this November but we did have a show regardless.  Papa Pelosi got hit by a hammer.  Pacman Jones has no business being the Ruler of the Jungle.  The Bengals suck again.  Senior pictures are a scam.  This country is officially spinning around the drain and Jason is apathetic.  Chris is excited to get his butthole waxed again this week.  OJ is still innoc...