Shut Up Cincinnati

Hello peckerheads!  You know what they say, it's the dog's dong days of August so join us as we bang out another masterpiece of nothing.  Chris convinces Jason that Brittney Griner has an adam's apple?  Chris doesn't convince Jason that illegals are just handed cars, houses, and food stamps when they enter the country.  Is Chris the last person alive that masturbated to records?  Does Kamala have...

Hello Bobby Brown fans!  Join us as we verbally hump around on a Thursday morning.  We get an email letting us know the show is going down the dumper because we have nothing prepared.  We answer by doing a podcast earlier than we've ever done before with absolutely nothing prepared.   Join Jason for a wake and bake while Chris is in his element as an old man in the morning.  Who is going number 1...

Hello bucket o' turds!  Join the fellas for the greatest podcast since the last one.  We discuss Last Suppergate and ask why are all these straight dudes watching the Olympics anyway?  Speaking of dudes, the lady boxer from Algeria isn't one so shut up already.  Why does JD Vance think he's from Appalachia when he's clearly from regular ol' trashy Middletown?  Chris hates all truckers.  Jason is s...

Hey there goofy patriots and dirty commies!  Come join the fellas as America continues to fall into chaos.  We discuss the assassination attempt and how dumb the fall out has been.  Biden looked in the mirror and noticed that he was old but now what the hell are the democrats supposed to do?  Are women more horny the day after their fathers die?  Does Eminem's new album suck?  Are regular cuck sto...

Hello, ya dirty dissidents!  Join the fellas for another remarkable podcast about nothing.  Jason loses his job and is trying to figure out as a 43 year old what he wants to be when he grows up.  Chris is scared of the recent shootings in the Cincinnati area.  Jason is angry at Grippos chips.  Some lady hit's Chris's car in the middle of this recording and Jason wonders why Chris didn't parlay tha...

Anyone else suddenly have some free time on their hands?  Even if you don't then force feed yourself a giant helping of Shut Up Cincinnati.  Chris embraces his old white guy and let's loose on Bronny James and Jason's sweet baby girl, Angel Reese.  Jason meets a guy who was brought back to life by an anally inserted popsicle.   The guys laugh together at Joe Biden's old man faces at the debate and...

Hey bunker-balls!  It's Monday so that means another outstanding episode of the non-award winning podcast, Shut Up Cincinnati.  Jason wonders why no one thanked him on Juneteenth.  Chris is picking up girls at the battered women shelter.  What the hell is up with states making porn harder to watch?  Why do Amazon drivers always block the road?  When do the democrats finally switch Old Man Biden ou...

Hello panty sniffers and toenail inspectors!  Welcome to this week's episode of Shut Up Cincinnati.  As always, the guys answer all of life's important questions and update you on the world's events.  Chris is angry because the price to get his butthole waxed has increased over 50 percent.  Jason gets his life saved by a curse word.  The fellas wonder which one of their friends would be horrible d...

Hello pud wackers!  Nice to meet you, now will you please drink this cup of juice and pledge your allegiance to the greatest podcast that never tries.  Join the peckerheads this week as we discuss how junkies keep their balance, why some murdered kids shouldn't really count, and if there are only 16 Eskimos still alive.  Chris is going to have to survive a few months without the love of his life,...

Hey there peckerheads!  It's been a few weeks since the fellas blessed you with their silly banter and we'd like to apologize but we won't.  Instead, just join us this week for a brand new hour of non-sense!  Could you jerk off to the Invasion of Normandy?  Should drug dealers use chop sticks or plastic forks?  Should you beat the snot out of the kid at King's Island who is taking his job too seri...

Hello mutant muffs!  Join us for another wonderful podcast that is bound to change your life.  Jason has eye aids and Chris is thinking about becoming an independent porn videographer.  An old sex offender friend has made the news again but not for peepin' this time.  Some lady leaves rib bones in Chris's car.  Jason proves he's a horrible person....again.  Is Cher rock n' roll?  Is 16 years too l...

Hello wieners!  The guys are back after a 2 week hiatus to save humanity with a podcast about nothing important.  We talk about our guys trip and find out if anyone pooped on the floor.  We wonder if our audience can buy us a flame throwing dog to clean snow off the driveway and catch really homeless people on fire.  Chris gets made fun of at the T-Mobile store for being really old and dumb.  Is B...

Hey there worm wranglers!  Join us for another funky rendition of the Shut Up Cincinnati Podcast.  This week we say goodbye to an American hero, OJ Simpson.  Jason gives a ride to a dirty stripper who makes him hold her ice cream.  Chris farts on a guy and blames it on Indian food.  The nightgown couple is coming to town for a concert so we guess which band a cuck would want to see.  Jason has ner...

After missing last week due to a going to jail for killing a family while trying to dodge a polar bear in Kentucky, the boys are back and ready to talk about nothing.  What the hell is up with Diddy?  Who would live in a funeral home?  Will the great white hope, Caitlin Clark, save the WNBA?  Why would you take poop straight from a pigs butt?  We talk about other stuff but I'm in a hurry right now...

Hey there!  We got a doozy for you this week.  Chris visits the cuck in the nightgown for part 2 of epic sexual savagery.  Ryan and Jason give Chris feedback and congratulate him for peeing on their floor.  Detective Bauman dives deep and finds the suspects in the dong licking kitty case.  Jason tries hard not to go off on a slow kid at Kroger.  The guys share scabies stories and wish death on a m...

Welcome turd cutters!  Join the fellas for another marvelous podcast that will change your life.   The guys discuss why dildos are usually pink, if they would take a picture with Donald Trump, and NFL free agency.  Who is leaving rubber ducks at Chris's house?  Should you get jail time for threatening death if 2 people don't hug each other?  Would you take a dead person through the bank line to ge...

Hey there bird brain!  Yeah, You!  Listen to this wonderful podcast about all the important things and absolutely nothing at the same time.  Do freaks who take part in beastiality consider if the animal is male or female?  What would you do if a kitten licked your thang while you were romances yourself?  Why do people with Jeeps suck?  Is Chris a complete loser for having a Panda Express app on hi...

Hey there fatties!  Join the fellas for the worlds best podcast.  The guys talk about homeless boogers, cursing children, and listeners that they don't like.  Patrick Mahomes should be kicked out of the NFL for the violence in Kansas City.  Subway hasn't made a good sandwich in 20 years.  No amount of Cheese Coneys are going to save old crusty Coney Island.  Can you be a straight male and follow T...

Hey there butter balls!  Join the fellas for another celebration of absolutely nothing.  Jason sets his sites on Jesus on Ash Wednesday while Chris is more focused on hating Travis Kelce.  The guys tell you why Usher's halftime show was mid at best regardless of what our goofy friends think.  Jason thinks MC Hammer should be the new messiah.  Chris sets a date to once again bang a lady in front of...

Hello plumpers!  Join the fellas for another fabulous podcast about nothing important.  Toby Keith is the first to die in the 2024 Death Pool.  We discuss 2 new entries into the pool and Chris's early lead.  Killer Mike wins a few Grammys and pushes down a security guard.  Jay Z whines about his wife not getting enough awards.  New music sucks.  Chris tells us about being a drug mule.  Jason leave...

Hey fellow dark souls!  Welcome to our 4th annual Celebrity Death Pool.  Who will die?  What the hell is stiff person syndrome?  Why does Chris want Cory Feldman to die?  We also discuss who Vince McMahon has been pooping on lately and a few other things.   Enjoy!

Hey smellers of farts!  Join the fellas for an important discussion on absolutely nothing.  Chris gets an ice cold pizza from Marcos.  Just like Matthew Perry, Jason tells a story about his experience with ketamine and a pool.  The guys ask people to enter the Celebrity Death Pool 2024 and talk about last years results.  Jason wonders if Chris's cuck secretly just stares at his starfish the whole...

Welcome tiddledy winks!  Join the fellas for a celebration for our 200th episode and 4 year birthday.  The guys spend the show theoretically jerking ourselves off for accomplishing nothing.  Rocky Balboa, Whoopi Goldberg, Kim Jung Un, Clint Eastwood, Nina Hartley, Mr. Bert, El Guerro Gordo and Lil Nick swing by the show to congratulate the boys on 200 episodes.  Chris uses the wrong lube and burns...

Hey there butthole boofers!  Our pal, Nathan, joins the show today for a couple chuckles with the fellas.  We discuss how much Nathan has changed for the worse since he got his hernia fixed.  Chris does some soul searching that somehow just ends up with him looking at perverted terms on the internet.  Patrick Mahomes is still just a spoiled child.  Jason and Nathan try to convince Chris to cook hi...

Hello blue waffle enthusiasts!  The fellas are joined by everyone's favorite gold star gay, Brent Wolgamott.  Brent gives Chris constructive criticism on how to deal with a cuck who shows up in a nightgown.  Brent describes being the victim of a hate crime in downtown Cincinnati.  The guys discuss local sex ads and what kind of people actually respond to them.  Brent tells us about his recent enga...