Shrimp Cocktail

Jessel was once kidnapped by a cold-hearted housewife named Sai. Jessel lived in the bottom of a ship with her husband, Lewis. Eventually, Jessel's family hired a knight named Brynn to save the couple and they immigrated to Ellis Island, New York City. Upon arrival, Jessel and Lewis were allowed to keep their Irish names, "Jack O'Lantern." The couple followed Brynn to her death and Sai was never h...

"This is a message from Anonymous. Do you want to play a prank?" Ubah begins to panic as she notices a bear trap around her neck and Jessel beside her- tits out in the grotto. Erin appears on two monitors, red spirals on her cheeks, blowing ass on a tricycle. An x-ray of Ubah's skull is shown on the monitor with a SIM card behind her eye. "You have 3 minutes to retrieve your SIM card, otherwise th...

Going through security on you way to Anguilla, Brynn is there to pat-down your dad. Jenna is told by Sai that she must remove her outerwear. Ubah smuggles her WAP past the TSA and Jessel brings her anal beads disguised as earrings. Upon arrival, Erin will be handing out wet blankets. All aboard, it’s time for Shrimp Cocktail! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we welcome a special guest co-host: Nywani. Ambassador to the Crustacean Nation, Nywani has recently returned from a diplomatic mission to our nation’s capital: Shediac, NB. Our ambassador met with the delegate from Mommy Nation, Sanya Richards-Ross, to sign the Seaside Convention. Notable points in the convention include: Shereé Whitfield to be appointed representative of the press...

This week's mini challenge is called: Flirting with Married Men. You will compete in a sexy 80's workout-themed photoshoot with photographer Mike Ruiz. The twist? You'll be modelling with children. Whose children? We don't know... but they were cold and hungry and we found them somewhere in a bank. You have five minutes to get into quick drag - it's time for Shrimp Cocktail! Hosted on Acast. See a...

"Cause tonight will be the night that I fall for you!" Jessel is at warped tour with Jeffree Star selling Jack Skeleington handbags from Hot Topic and throwing up Froot Loops. Add Jessel to your Top 8 or else she will transform into a skin walker and put you in a freezer. In order to escape the freezer you must lick wine off the floor, if not Suri Cruise will bully you by lighting your hair on fir...

It’s time for another Shrimp Cocktail with your favourite cackling hags: Becky and Peter. Bethenny Clause is coming to town and leaving reminisce of a seafood boil in her wake. Make sure to leave a pickle and ginger-ale out for her to eat otherwise you will be banished to the up-and-coming neighbourhood of Tribeca. Finally, bring your sunglasses to as we mingle under the blinding lights of Jessel’...

Welcome back to American Horror story: Jessel. A story of a sterile upscale apartment in NYC that is burdened with a delicate glass light fixture, a climbing wall, a white couch, and two toddlers. Jessel must keep her toddlers from interacting with anything in the apartment all while trying to fain interest in her husband. If Jessel fails, RuPaul will enter the room and make her reveal her sob sto...

Erin is holding the ladies hostage in her unheated home with only caviar and pringles to eat. Vailed in the darkness of night, Jenna makes a harrowing escape from the RHONY cult. Brynn brings the kengery in her floor length fur, further fueling rumours that she’s a gay man. Meanwhile, Ubah is showing her nudes to everyone at the Aer Lingus terminal. Finally, Pearly the magician pulls a popsicle ou...

Welcome to the stage: Spit Take and Heather Grey - the hosts of the world’s most popular podcast! In this week’s cocktail the Shrimps discuss Andy Cohen’s book “Super Dad” and Elloit Page’s “Page Boy”. Also in the mix: Barbie, Oppenheimer, M3GAN, RuPaul’s Drag Race Finale, WWHL, Crappie Lake, and a coveted donair costume. So grab a caviar coated Pringle because it’s time for Shrimp Cocktail!...

Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 13 Episode 18 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 13 Ep 17 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Blood may be thicker than water, but a rat king usurps this tangled mess of a nuptial. Teresa (and her hair) relish in the big day, while the dorters struggle to ensure their mother's peace. Marge has much to say but opts for an Irish goodbye instead. Just like a performer pulling a sword out of their mouth, we are freeing ourselves from the familial trauma of sibling rivalry. The audience needs t...

All aboard the S. S. Dietl! This unsinkable ship is making its maiden voyage from Paul's Emerald Isle condo back to the prohibition era. The whiskey turns sour as Danielle drops a bombshell rumour, while Marge continues to drop low blows. These flappers are certainly not unflappable because the party descends into Kangol chaos. Louie has reached his final form of burgundy and belligerence because...

It’s the Mazzy and Cazzy show! A travelling circus act and you have front row seats; just make sure it's facing the door. Famiglia tension continues to loom like a dark cloud over New Jersey. Dolores is forced to manage her ex's feelings, while Jen is forcing Bill out of the pool house. Teresa's wedding invitation list is putting her in a fugue state, while Louie is becoming his darkest shade of r...

The gates of Chateau Shereé are open, but all the shrimpies can see are red flags. Sanya and her personal-assistant-by-marriage are learning how to exercise boundaries, while real time exercising in Shereé’s home gym with her drunk-friend-at-the-party Courtney. Marlo’s earrings become larger by the second (because they’re full of secrets), and Kandi sings passive aggressive sentiments while hangin...

Like the ancient symbol of a snake eating its own tail, the Gorga/Guidice family is trapped in a samsara cycle of repeating trauma and pettiness. With growth comes loss, and it's no doubt that the familial ties are on the chopping block. Love therapist Olivia is doing everything in her power to avoid this plight within her family, while the cycle of familial strife is being mirrored by Danielle an...

The women are still trapped in an Irish castle, as the episode begins with yet another establishing shot we like to call “Jackie’s bukkake.” Claire, an Irish rose and honorary housewife, smells a rat … or is it a hussy? We discover Marge is an expert cock handler and Jenn Ayden is an outsider artist. Peter the farmhand pushes the girls into a bog, but luckily Jenn Fesler sacrifices a chicken...

Boogawho? Boogawhere? Boogawhat? Are Peter and Becky psychic or are the tropes of the Housewives going to Ireland just too predictable? Falling on cobblestone in heels, eating blood sausage, and getting ‘scourted on by Guinness foam might be just right of passage for these ladies. One might say that our hosts won’t be “endorsed” by psychics anytime soon. So grab your jean jacket because it’s time...

This is your captain speaking - Welcome aboard Aer Lingus! Upon takeoff, please ensure that your seat swing is properly fastened. In case of an emergency you will find Jackie's jean jacket under your swing. In the rare event of a bombshell revelation please remember to blame Melissa before blaming others. Our inflight entertainment will be a limerick performed by Jenn Fesler about the time she smu...

Becky has lost power from Ice Storm ’98 so we’re grateful to have Nywani sub in again this week. This episode The Shrimps discuss shady new insights into pizza-gate (not that one... the New Jersey one). Teresa has a vision that doesn't include Melissa or Joe. Jenn hosts a Turkish coffee reading and Dolo invites the 'wives on a trip to Ireland. Will The Emerald Isle bring the luck of the Irish...

The Shrimpies are still stranded on the Jersey Shore and learn the lesson that family and business don’t mix. Joe Gorga and Luis confound the audience with a pizza oven venture, while off-camera, the ghost of Nono ensures its demise. The themes of family, estranged siblings, and daddy issues continue to cause problems with the ladies and come to a dramatic conclusion with an impromptu therapy sess...

Becky is back from vacation and ready to discuss all things sea snails. Teresa shops for uncut gems, while Jen insists that Marge uses blackmail to keep friendships. The new girls need to decide whose side they're taking in this severed friend group. The housewives flock to the Jersey Shore for Melissa's shore house luau party, and say enough lei-d jokes to force the viewers to debate whether they...

On this very special episode of Shrimp Cocktail we are delighted to introduce our special guest co-host NYWANI. Batter up! Dolores is hosting her annual charity baseball game on Hot-Dog Island. Frankie takes a swing and a miss at Dolores' emotions, despite her being a real catch. Will Jenn keep Bill in the dug-out or will couples-therapy with Olivia be a home run? Will HGH give the Jersey Boys fou...

Grab your oxygen tanks because you’re about to be (unwillingly) inserted inside Teresa’s “love bubble.” No, this is NOT a metaphor - it is a literal clear inflatable plastic bubble that floats on water …hopefully. You’ll be fine ! As long as you can answer the riddle of Gabriella the Korean water ghost. If you get the answer wrong, you’ll be haunted by a visit from Ms Melanoma - but if you get the...