Sex in Real Life with Stacey Herrera

In this week's episode of Love Is... , we're beginning a new four-part series called Sexual Seasons —because desire isn't static. It changes with us. Especially in midlife , when everything from hormones to heartbreak can shift how we feel about sex, touch, and our own bodies. Today, we're exploring Sexual Spring —that delicious season of reawakened desire. It's the sudden tingles. The unexpected...

This is a little bonus minisode I had to share while the feeling was still fresh. It's about the kind of love that doesn't fix — it holds. The kind that doesn't shame — it calls you in. The kind that doesn't keep you company in the dark — it helps you find the switch.   And if you're ready to stop betraying yourself in the name of being nice, needed, or helpful… Me, Again is that kind of calling i...

This week on Love Is…, we're talking about self-abandonment.  Not the hashtag version. The everyday, seemingly simple but often repeated moments where we override what's true. In this episode, I'm dropping gems about : ✨ What self-abandonment looks like in real life ✨ The childhood roots of shrinking to be loved ✨ A relationship story I've never shared publicly ✨ And why healing starts with no...

In this week's episode of Love Is..., I'm unpacking something tender and true: the resistance we feel when someone offers us care, love, or support—and how it messes with our nervous systems. We're exploring: Why "I'll do it myself" can feel safer than softness. The hidden cost of always being the strong one. And why learning to receive is actually the most radical relationship shift you can make....

Hey love, Ever catch yourself in the same argument? Or feel that familiar urge to shut down, chase, or fix—even when you know better? Your inner child might be behind the wheel. Again. In this week's episode of Love Is, I'm breaking down how childhood survival strategies sneak into our adult relationships, why they're so sticky, and how to start choosing differently—without blaming your past. Once...

No one teaches us how to talk about sex. That means we learn the hard way —by fumbling or mumbling —which is no bueno. That ends today. This week on the podcast, I've got 10 tips for making these conversations a little bit less uncomfortable. From timing it right (not while you're getting busy) to the build-up (think Eiffel Tower—start at the base, not the tip).  You'll be talking pleasure, desire...

As a kid, silence in my house was heavy. Not the peaceful kind – the kind that sits on your chest and makes you hold your breath. That's probably why I followed my former husband from room to room trying to make him talk it out. Not my proudest moment, but hey, we're all learning here. In this week's episode, I explain what happens when someone goes silent—they're probably not rejecting you, by th...

In this week's episode of Love Is..., I discuss a recent challenge in my relationship that had me questioning the real purpose of relationships. Here's what we're exploring: Why relationships bring up our sh*t How conflicts can be doorways to healing What happens when we get curious instead of defensive I share insights from relationship experts Terry Real and Esther Perel, as well as an honorable...

Today on Love Is..., I'm getting real about something that might surprise you: the best lovers aren't necessarily the most skilled ones. We're diving deep into: Why emotional safety matters more than technique What happened when a lover actually listened The "work" that transforms sex from good to unforgettable Gentle Warning: This episode contains adult themes (not explicit, but definitely a grow...

In Episode 21, we're having an honest conversation about unsolicited photos of genitalia and what they reveal about modern seduction (or lack thereof). This is bigger than d*ck pics – it's about how technology has changed the way we approach desire, connection, and intimacy. We're digging into: The difference between seduction and harassment (with wisdom from Esther Perel) Why quick hits of attent...

Remember when I promised we'd start getting into the juicy stuff? Well, today we're talking about something rarely discussed in relationship conversations: why your nose might be the most honest matchmaker you have. In Episode 20, I'm breaking down three crucial reasons why odor compatibility matters in romantic relationships (and yes, I'm sharing my own experiences too).  We're diving into pherom...

There is something I need to tell you… I've been holding back —in my content —on this podcast. Playing it safe. Shrinking to fit. Not bringing my A-game. That ends today. This episode is my line in the sand—a confession, a promise, and a glimpse of what's to come—raw, juicy conversations about relationships, desire, intimacy, and sex—basically the kind of things we share over wine but rarely talk...

When the longest relationship I never had ended (not a typo), someone said to me, "New chapter, new year." That was so not helpful.  Good is not a feeling I've ever felt at the end of a relationship. Even when ending it was good for me. I know you get it. This week on the pod, we are talking about five things nobody tells you about starting over.  This episode is a shorty — 5 minutes. But it's jui...

Your calendar might be full, but what's really keeping you unavailable?  In this week's episode, we are talking about why many of us are more comfortable with exhaustion than connection.   🔎 I have a simple practice for you: The Spacious Minute. It might reveal what your busy schedule is protecting you from. No meditation required. 🗣️ FREE Masterclass:  Understanding Your Relationship Patterns Da...

I spent years mistaking intensity for intimacy, choosing complicated over calm because at least I knew the steps to that dance. When someone consistently showed up—no games, no drama —it felt empty. But it wasn't about them. It was about how foreign safety felt to my nervous system. In this week's episode, we explore seven reasons why we sometimes distance ourselves from good love, heading straigh...

I've been thinking about our desires—not fleeting wishes but longings that remind us there's more to life than comfortable compromises. In Episode 15, we illuminate how many of us are caught in the familiar tension between gratitude for what is and hunger for what could be. There's wisdom in wanting; maybe it's time to stop apologizing for wanting more.   P.S. If this episode resonates, you might...

We used just to know things. Remember that?  Before we started gathering a focus group of friends and consulting "The Google" at ridiculous hours to search for answers, we used to know things. And by knowing things, I mean we used to trust ourselves. This week, we're discussing what happens when we trade that knowing for external validation.  I share my bookstore epiphany. Some of my biggest downl...

There is so much to be pissed about. Living in a world that often expects us to manage everyone's feelings while minimizing our own.  We've spent years trying not to coast on emotional autopilot. The exhaustion is real. In episode 13, we're taking a deeper look at anger. I'm digging into why that simmering frustration is not a sign of bitterness —it's proof that it's time to make shift happen. We'...

I thought I was good at love. I prided myself on being patient and understanding —a shoulder to cry on. I consistently chose partners who couldn't (or wouldn't) show up for me. Not that I required them to. That changed the day I learned my longtime lover had jumped the broom. Oh, and I found out he was married on Facebook, by the way. Turns out I wasn't as good at relationships as I thought. But I...

From mysterious anxiety to unexplained tension, our bodies speak a language we've forgotten how to hear.   This week, we're exploring the quiet wisdom in our bones. If you've ever made a decision that seemed right but felt wrong, this episode is for you. Does your gut know things that your mind won't admit? This is for you, too.  Sometimes, the answers aren't between our ears. Maybe they're hitche...

Remember when making friends was as simple as sharing your lunch at recess?  In this week's episode, we're digging into the beautiful complexity of adult friendship – from the vulnerability of new connections to the evolution of decades-long bonds. From an unexpected prayer in a corporate bathroom to skinny dipping at 50, I'm dishing on 25 years of friendship with my girlfriend Christi, plus the q...

Most of us have a voice that tells us we're "too much" or "not enough."  Episode 9 dives into how external criticism often becomes our inner dialogue. Sparked by Dr. Raquel Martin's insight about injected oppression, we're exploring where those limiting beliefs come from. How they shape our relationships, and what happens when we finally recognize them for what they are. Plus, a juicy homework ass...

Remember when we used to wait months for a movie to come out? The buildup. The teasers. The sweet angst of anticipation.   In Episode 8, I'm using a little nostalgia to break down the difference between eroticism and sensuality. We're exploring imagination, presence and how these two forces play together in our relationships. And there's a simple practice you can try at home to bring more of both...

Ever find yourself playing mom to your partner? You know the drill — chronic fixing, saving, and problem-solving. (Raises my hand 🙋🏽‍♀️) In Episode 7, we're unpacking that sneaky urge to mother our romantic partners and how it might sabotage our relationships. From the allure of being needed to those familiar caretaking patterns, we learned way back when.   I'm sharing five practical ways to shi...

Who are you... beneath all the roles you play on a daily? Yep, we're going there. Episode 6 is juicy. It's all about excavating the you buried beneath years of "shoulds" and expectations. And because I love a good map, I'm sharing a 5-step process for getting to the core of who you really are.   This episode is a compass if you've been feeling lost —in your roles —in your relationships. This one m...