Sex Drunks

J and Pasha get patriotic before diving into progressive victory over lust, relapse shame, and whether a reset means starting over or just getting back on the path. They get into five-second fantasies, “thank you God” moments in Safeway, inconveniently helpful honesty, and why God probably isn’t going to pry lust out of your clenched little hand. Plus: I Love Lust t-shirts, half-caff scheming in r...

J and Pasha record from a not-so-private Mount Rainier lodge and somehow turn whispering, staff members, and “no sexaholics in the national park” into a conversation about weakness, ego deflation, and letting God in through brokenness. They get into The Spirituality of Imperfection, Paul’s thorn in the flesh, service work gone sideways, making amends, and why sometimes the thing we hate most is ex...

Pasha gets back from Armenia with stories about Yerevan, Russian-speaking SA, jazz clubs, and a hostel grandma who apparently knows how to make a goodbye way too intimate. J and Pasha also get into bookending, casual lusting, spiritual fitness, and why connecting with God and using the actual tools might have to be a both-and thing. Plus: chewing ice cream, the Russian slip, Pumba sniffing out the...

JP get into digital minimalism, dumb phones, and the weird shame spiral of choosing AI music over replying to a prison sponsee. They also wade into disclosure in marriage, whether lusting after your own wife is still lust, and why “mindful masturbation” might be the clearest sign you’re in the wrong room. Plus: listening to the podcast on half speed, protecting Pasha’s ego, nuclear-bomb honesty, a...

J&P get into whether staying busy actually helps recovery, why DSRs can feel both useful and completely maddening, and what it means to tell on yourself before your ego gets too comfortable. They also talk forgiveness as a choice, resentment as poison, and Jonathan’s very real temper tantrum over a nursery footstool. Plus: cinematic addicts, Taco Bell burrito trauma, The Power of Now, and the...

Pasha comes back from a work conference tired, rattled, and with one painfully awkward problem: what do you say when a coworker asks for your secret podcast? He and Jonathan get into conferences as a minefield, the weird buildup from a thousand little looks, and why bookending might be the most practical tool they’ve found for staying sane in the wild. Also: the guy who read "lusted perverts," one...

Jonathan and Pasha recap the Sumas retreat, from the very specific chaos of trying to save a variety show with almost no acts to Jonathan leaving early to get home to his wife and screaming baby. They get into recruiting people off the trail, Pasha's red-bandana intimidation strategy, and why Mike K and Thomas completely stole the show with their fake phone-coordinator bit. They also talk about th...

Kent joins Pasha and Jonathan at the Sumas retreat to talk about being openly gay in SA, why he tells guys to get sober first and sort out the rest later, and how recovery changed the way he sees his wife and their marriage. They get into early-recovery anger, saying the Serenity Prayer in Home Depot, what it was like for Kent to walk into a room full of men, and the tension around who feels welco...

Mike joins Pasha and Jonathan to talk about letting go, praying for willingness, and what he tells guys who keep relapsing or call in full-blown panic. They get into old-timer relapse stories, why fear can keep you sober for a while and then stop working, Mike's line that some guys just aren't done yet, and the strange peace that came when God lifted his obsession with Jerry and even his fear of g...

Mahmood joins Pasha and Jonathan from the spring retreat in Sumas to talk about what happens when recovery gets harder instead of easier - scared sober, subtle drift, close calls, and why old-timer relapse stories hit so hard. They get into problem meetings vs. solution meetings, what it looks like when a wife is working her own program too, and the weird little moments when lust starts whispering...

Jonathan and Pasha get into the weird art of sponsorship - blunt honesty, hand-holding, and why some guys need to be cut off mid-whine. Pasha tells the story of getting cussed out by a sexaholic on a call, the amends he has had to make after taking things too far, and why sponsoring while relapsing feels so strange. Somewhere between sympathy vs. empathy, mystery sponsees, and the question of when...

Pasha shares the ego-deflating amend where he found out people were making fun of his "gangster" phase, plus the high-school rap battle win he's absolutely not over. Then he and Jonathan get into firing a sponsee, whether sponsors can quietly become higher powers, and why AA feels a little different from SA—along with AI voice temptations, boba, and one very loaded arm touch at Al-Anon. Somewhere...

Jonathan is back with a newborn, basically no sleep, and a crash course in how fast fatherhood exposes every crack in recovery. He and Pasha talk through late-night resentment, mental obsession, the "signals" that say something needs attention, and why caring for a baby can feel like practicing the actions of love on repeat—plus frozen grapes, Sprite Cherry Lime Zero, and a few brutally honest lau...

Pasha nearly loses it when his grand-sponsee pulls out Step Into Action instead of the Big Book—and has to pray his way out of saying something he'd regret. From there, the guys get into whether outside resources like Step Into Action are helpful or harmful, why "clear-cut directions" aren't always so clear, and what step one actually requires before anything else clicks. Jonathan drops that he us...

Jonathan and Pasha dive into codependency—what it actually is, why it's rooted in selfishness, and why it might be the next frontier for both of them. Jonathan shares a tense family conversation over the holidays that finally pushed him toward making his amends, and Pasha recounts one of his most complicated ninth step experiences that still catches him off guard years later.

Pasha opens up about a rough week battling new compulsions — including an endless scroll through a used clothing app — while Jonathan shares what it was like to go from feeling nothing to finally crying at a kids' Christmas movie. They dig into the stigma around medication in recovery, what depression actually feels like, and why the things you don't want to share are usually exactly what you need...

Jonathan admits he's been pushing his wife away by constantly criticizing her approach to recovery—and realizes he's living proof of what not to do. Pasha wrestles with a Russian big book study that challenges everything he thought he knew. Together they explore what it means to hold strong opinions loosely, and why "I don't know" might be the most honest thing a sexaholic can say.

Ned and Jeanette open up about navigating 25+ years of marriage through sex addiction recovery—from the "first year is awful, second year is worse" reality to learning that full disclosure might not mean what you think it does. They dig into the tricky dance of honesty without brutality, the spidey senses Essanons develop, and why one day at a time applies to staying married too.

Jonathan calls up an old timer to ask why he says "why isn't a spiritual question"—then consults his other old timer, ChatGPT (who has about two weeks of sobriety). Pasha shares his step two experience in rehab, how telling God he was angry changed everything, and the freedom of saying "I don't care why—I just don't want to die." Plus: why your internet filters might just be training wheels, and w...

Jonathan and Pasha get deep on their recent fifth step experiences—from realizing "whenever I'm disturbed, the problem is me" to discovering you can't just knowledge your way out of character defects. Plus: retreat awkwardness, family mediation gone right, and why Doritos are basically lust.

Jonathan starts using AI as a "sponsor" and goes down a rabbit hole asking ChatGPT the big questions: What's the difference between a therapy share and a 12-step share? Which one actually creates lasting change? And what about marriage—counseling or both partners working their own programs? The AI drops some surprisingly solid wisdom, and the guys unpack it with their own experience. Plus, Pasha u...

  Recovered or recovering? The debate is on! Jonathan drops a controversial   bomb by saying "recovered sexaholic" at Tuesday night's meeting, and   Pasha's here to unpack what sparked the shift. After two years of going   with the flow, Jonathan discovered the White Rhino meetings and their Big   Book approach—and suddenly "recovered" just made sense. It's not about   being cured forever; it's ab...

Mike’s back for redemption! As our very first guest, we were all a bit shy—well, not anymore. After that first conversation, Mike had to come back for more, and we think he may have caught a new addiction… podcasting! 

In this episode of Sex Drunks, we chat with Dan C and Jason L. Dan dives into the topic of rage and recovery, while Jason—well, with that Australian accent, anything he says is worth a listen! 

In this episode of Sex Drunks, we sit down with Mike K, Marty L, and Kyle B for honest conversations about their journeys with recovery—and, of course, plenty of silliness, laughter, and good-natured poking fun at each other along the way.