Self-Coaching

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss how the days, weeks, and months just seem to slip by as we live a distracted, mindless life allowing ourselves to be pulled in all directions but our own.  You can begin to learn how to slow down your life by taking a psychological “audit.” Asking yourself, how much time do I spend arguing? Pursuing money? Status? Impressing others? Worrying? And...

Have you ever been told that you’re too sensitive or that you think too much? How about, “let it go, it wasn’t that big of a deal.” If so, you may be a highly sensitive person. In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss sensitivity with an emphasis on those who tend to be overly, or hyper-sensitive. Although sensitivity can be positive attribute contributing to a depth of feeling and expe...

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss the value of surrendering to life’s inevitable, unavoidable challenges. Join us as we explore our reflexive tendency to resist change and the value of learning to surrender. So, how do you know when it’s time to surrender? That’s when you begin to realize that holding on and resisting hurts more than letting go. Adjusting to a new normal allows y...

Ever heard of toxic positivity? Well, I never did either until Lauren told me about it this week.  In this Self-Coaching episode, we define toxic positivity as the excessive and ineffective attempt(s) to gloss over someone’s struggle by offering such platitudes as, “chin up,” “things could be worse.” Although well intentioned, these cliches can often cause shame or guilt for a person stuck in thei...

In this second part of our Self-Coaching series on the psychology of relating in cyber space, Lauren and I continue our conversation, highlighting both the positive and negative aspects social media. There’s no question that social media is here to stay, as long as you have balance between real and cyber relationships and, as long as you’re willing to embrace moderation and mindfulness in your usa...

In this Self-Coaching podcast, Lauren and I discuss how our hectic, high-pressure world seems to lend itself to the escape, stimulation, and distraction of social media. There is, however, a downside to squeezing more and more cyber-stimulation into your day-to-day life. When round-the-clock, hyper-connectivity begins to become compulsive, if not addictive, it may be time to hit the pause button a...

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss the importance of differentiating normal from neurotic behavior. You do this by asking what’s driving my behavior? Whether it’s getting that closet organized just so, or not wanting to take a day off our exercise routine, how do we define what constitutes “compulsive” behavior? The answer is that when your behavior is driven by positive desire an...

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss the many reasons why people have difficulty accepting gifts, praise, or acts of kindness. One overarching reason driven by insecurity is ‘over-thinking.’ “Why did she offer to take me?” “He’s just saying he likes me; I don’t buy it.” Another reason is low self-esteem—not feeling worthy. There are many expressions of this problem, including distru...

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss how to neutralize negative imprints from the past. Obviously, not all historical imprints are negative, but some are. It’s time to learn to neutralize those reflexive imprints that don’t serve us. How? One-by-one, neuron by neuron, brain circuit by circuit. Yes, you can begin to neutralize these troublesome imprints and habits by training yoursel...

In this Self-Coaching podcast, Lauren and I discuss how to restore and replenish healthy self-esteem. It all begins with a simple truth: there's nothing wrong with you. Never was. You may reflexively balk at this statement especially if insecurity and faulty perceptions of inferiority have been calling the shots, but it happens to be irrefutable.   When you put yourself down you diminish your self...

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss emotional triggers. Triggers are any word, person, event, or experience that “triggers” an immediate emotional reaction.  Although triggers can be positive reactions to a stimulus, our focus in this episode will be on our negative, knee-jerk reactions that we often come to regret. We’ve all experienced being “triggered” or as they say, having our...

How do you handle being stuck in traffic, a slow line at the grocery store, or a slow Internet connection? Are you too impatient? Low frustration tolerance? If so, it’s time to stop torturing yourself when trying to handle life’s inevitable bouts of impatience. Only you can decide if the cost of being patient is worth it, but if it’s worth it, then join Lauren and I in this Self-Coaching episode a...

Okay, so you're offended, you're angry, your feelings are hurt, maybe it's time to forgive. Why? Because resentment and anger are poisons that you take. It's like carrying a packpack with a 20 pound weight on your back. Why not simply let it go? One reason is because on some neurotic level, you're wanting to retaliate by "hating" or holding a grudge toward the offending person. Or maybe you're tyi...

In this Self-Coaching episode Lauren and I discuss ways to expand your life beyond your "comfort zone." There’s a saying that goes, 'If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.' The longer you do nothing about what you want out of life, the longer you will live with empty dreams. There's no doubt that wishful thinking can ever replace purpose-driven determination and action. A successful life...

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss various strategies for managing fear. Fear is an instinctual response to danger (real or imagined). When the danger is real, like with COVID, fear mobilizes our resources to protect us from harm. And this is a good thing. When fear is associated with insecurity, however, then we wind up protecting ourselves, not from actual danger, but from fear...

How much of a role do genes determine your personality? Your happiness? Can we actually change who we are? In this Self-Coaching podcast, Lauren and I discuss how to "reinvent" yourself into the person you want to be and the person you deserve to be. There's a line from a poem that goes, "Stone wall do not a prison make, nor iron bars a gage." Sure, there are genetic predispositions, but there's a...

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I explore the rather illusive concept of happiness. Happiness isn’t a goal that you can simply reach and be done with. It’s a constant pursuit requiring continual nurturing and sustenance. If you’re looking to increase your satisfaction with life, build stronger coping skills and emotional resilience, improve your health and longevity, then it’s important...

How often do you allow circumstances, challenges, or stress to dictate what kind of day it will be? Regardless of what goes on around you, it's important to recognize that you and you alone make the decision as to what kind of day it will be. In this episode Lauren and I discuss various Self-coaching techniques to help you recognize that negativity, pessimism, and unhappiness are habits of mental...

There’s no doubt that we humans are hardwired to adapt to life’s ever-changing challenges. Clearly, COVID 19 has demanded that we adapt to a new, more restricted way of life. Some have struggled, some have whined, but somehow, we’ve all made it through last year. How about you? Did you resist the inevitable restrictions and demands? How about now, are you adapting to this seemingly transitional pe...

In today’s podcast, Lauren and I discuss the fact that true happiness is an incorruptible attitude that exists independent of life’s circumstances. Whether the impediment to your happiness is caused by insecurity, life circumstances, or a faulty perspective, according to Self-Coaching, living a fulfilled, happy life isn’t something you wish for—it’s something you can learn to choose. Regardless of...

With the vaccine rollouts and warmer days ahead, for the first time, there may be a legitimate light at the end of this long, long tunnel. Great news! But as encouraging as this news may be, we must now prepare ourselves to enter a familiar yet changed world.. In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss how this is the time to begin to fortify ourselves and our psyches for what’s ahead in...

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss the many elements of successful relating. Whether you’re involved in a relationship that’s struggling or you simply want to fortify a good and loving relationship, this episode will shed light on the many elements involved in maintaining, enhancing, and restoring the love and enthusiasm you and your partner, friend, or spouse are capable of--and...

In this episode of Self-Coaching, Lauren and I discuss the three pillars happiness: personal happiness (releasing your innate capacity for joy); functional happiness (learning to ‘connect’ rather than ‘disconnect’ from what you do), and relationship/social happiness (overcoming the vulnerability of relating to others).   Understanding the difference between joy, which is an internal pursuit, and h...

Being human means accepting the fact that life can challenge us in many ways. Insecurity, emotional vulnerability, fear of making mistakes, uncertainty, anxiety, social survival, competition, loss, abandonment, and so on, represent just some of the many potential threats we encounter in our emotional "jungle." In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss how the myriad array of circumstanti...

Do you worry what people think of you? Do you typically find yourself focusing on your negatives? Are you always comparing yourself with others? If so, this episode of Self-Coaching is for you. Whether you’re too sensitive or even hypersensitive, it’s important to get a handle on how low self-esteem can create a life of torment. Join Lauren and I as we discuss various Self-Coaching strategies invo...