Self-Coaching

“He made me sad.” “Her rudeness ruined my day.” Do you allow people to get 'under your skin?' Making you feel hurt, angry, or frustrated? If so, this Self-Coaching episode will help you understand your emotional sensitivity-triggers. So, stop blaming others and stop being victimized by your hypersensitivity. It’s time to discover a way to never feel emotionally manipulated again.  Once you take yo...

Have you ever wished you could hold back the hands of time? To slow down life’s treadmill and catch your psychological breath? If so, join me in this Self-Coaching episode and learn how to step out of time.   You may not be able to stop actual time, but when it comes to your internal, cognitive clock, you can learn to step out of time and taste the timeless, bliss of abandonment. Me, you, the univ...

When you meet someone and you’re trying to size them up, chances are logic won’t tell you the whole story. You need to hand yourself over to other important forms of information—intuitive information. In order to do this, you begin by giving up any preconceptions or biases you might have that could interfere with your seeing someone more accurately. From this vantage point you begin to tune into t...

I would guess that most children believe in magic--the power to make impossible things happen. As adults, our world becomes devoid of magic as we accept the hard reality that when it comes to life's challenges, there are no magic wands or other fantastic solutions to our struggles. In this Self-Coaching episode, I challenge you to recognize that there is magic, not the abracadabra kind of magic, b...

 “If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.” Mark Twain In this Self-Coaching episode, I discuss the nature of procrastination. Procrastination isn’t an illness or a diagnostic category, it’s a personality tendency (a.k.a., habit). And since procrastination isn’t an ‘illness,’ you do...

Why do we dream? Are dreams important? Some scientists say that dreams serve no real purpose at all. Whether you interpret a dream or not, most research suggests that there’s no question dreaming is essential to both your physiological and emotional balance. How exactly this is accomplished is anyone’s guess at this point, but one thing is certain, dreams can often be used to facilitate your emoti...

According to Self-Coaching, emotional struggle defies common sense. Truth is, it just doesn’t make any sense to go on struggling month after month, year after year. In this episode join me in a discussion of the fallacy of common sense and how replacing this concept with a more workable concept like ‘practical sense,’ will put you in a much better position to understand and achieve emotional liber...

Would you find it unsettling to know that you may have neurotic tendencies? If so, perhaps you need to understand that to a greater or lesser degree we all have a very human inclination toward neurotic behavior(s). Whether it’s worry, irritability, negativity, self-doubt, or being self-conscious, understanding the nature of what we call “neurotic,” is one way to begin to liberate your life from th...

The fact is that we all complain—some more, some less. But what’s so bad about complaining? In the Self-Coaching episode, you’ll learn how complaining is like experiencing the same torment over and over again, thereby revisiting the stress of our complaint over and over again. Not only is it stressful to complain, it also turns us into victims, grumblers, and whiners. Did you know that complaining...

You may remember the song from the 50’s, ‘Tossin’ and Turning all night’’? Who hasn’t experienced the torment of not being able to fall asleep? You count sheep or try thinking pleasant thoughts, all to no avail. Meanwhile your frustration and inability to fall asleep has you at wits end. You know that sleep is essential, you know you shouldn’t be worrying about tomorrow’s problems, nevertheless, o...

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting fatigued hearing about the next ‘wave’ of this virus. I believe it’s now called the Ba.5 variant. Great, right! Granted, it does seem as if we’ve become more resilient since all this began in January 2020. We seemingly have adapted rather well, however, just beneath the surface is that January 2020 reflexive feeling of paranoia. Guess it’s a form of PTSD (po...

We live in a world where frustrations are an inevitable part of life and learning to tolerate frustration should be a part of your healing journey. In this Self-Coaching episode, I talk about the nature of "intolerance"--letting life's frustrations victimize you. Maybe you've tried counting to 10, taking deep breaths, or thinking of purple elephants, all to no avail. Unless you have a better grasp...

In this Self-Coaching episode, I discuss the important concept of compassion. Compassion literally means “to suffer together” and is defined as the feeling that arises when you’re confronted with another's suffering and you feel motivated to do something in order to relieve that suffering. Research shows that compassion in life adds to our genuine happiness as well as our physical health and longe...

I’ll admit, it sounds rather preposterous that there could be one reason for all emotional struggle, it just seems to defy common sense. Perhaps. Nevertheless, understanding the reason why we suffer isn’t as important as knowing what we can do to liberate ourselves from a life contaminated by emotional struggle. Join me in this Self-Coaching episode as I lay out my reasoning why emotional liberati...

In this episode you’ll learn how to apply my Self-Coaching principles to solving emotional struggle. Whether you suffer from anxiety, depression, worry, or challenging moods, Self-Coaching is a hands-on technique for liberating yourself from needless insecurity-driven, distorted thinking. By learning to distinguish between your thoughts that are contaminated by insecurity and your mature, healthy...

How to apply Self-Coaching to needless emotional struggle In this episode you’ll learn how to apply my Self-Coaching principles to solving emotional struggle. Whether you suffer from anxiety, depression, worry, or challenging moods, Self-Coaching is a hands-on technique for liberating yourself from needless insecurity-driven, distorted thinking. By learning to distinguish between your thoughts tha...

Not getting enough out of life? Not bouncing back from setbacks? Feeling a lack of self-esteem or confidence? If so, you won’t want to miss this episode. Join me with my special guest (and daughter-in-law), Semira. Among her many talents and passions, Semira is a neuro physiologist, a mother of two, a skilled carpenter, artist, and gourmet cook, to mention only a few of her interests. How does she...

We often concede to stress by passively accepting the notion that we have no choice but to get upset when life challenges us. This is blatantly not true; you do have a choice! Join me in this Self-Coaching episode to find out how you can become more active in deciding whether or not you need to be victimized by needless neurotic, circumstantial stress. The second century emancipated slave, Epictet...

 If you struggle with weight loss and weight mastery, I'm sure you know how easy it is to fall prey to false intentions, rationalizations, or excuses. There’s a big difference, for example, between wanting to eliminate late-night snacking and knowing that you’re going to do it. Wanting to is an excuse that postpones action, going to is the mental action-memo that triggers intentionality. In order...

--Your brother just got his girlfriend’s name tattooed on his leg and your parents are going to flip out. You find out that a coworker is cheating on his fiancé. --Do you think if you heard this you would feel an urge to tell someone? Damn right you would! In this Self-Coaching episode, we discuss whether gossiping is, in fact, part of our human nature—after all, everyone does it. But why? Why do...

In this Self-Coaching episode, I hope to convince you that emotional liberation doesn’t have to feel like rocket science, in fact Self-Coaching offers a commonsense approach that anyone can understand. If you recognize that habits, all habits, are learned and all habits can be broken, then you’re ready to tackle the habits of insecurity that have hobbled you with emotional struggle.

Do you recall insults better than praise? Do you think about negative things more frequently than positive ones? How about remembering traumatic experiences better than positive? Don’t feel bad, you’re not alone, it’s what psychologists call ‘negativity bias.’ In this Self-Coaching episode, I talk about this totally normal, human tendency to react more strongly to life’s negatives than to its posi...

Here’s a simple Self-Coaching practice that will ensure your relationship’s ongoing sanity. Bottom-up, top-down interventions will solve most relationship conflicts. This is especially true if both partners are employing these strategies. In this Self-Coaching episode, you’ll learn that the strategy of calming down raw, bottom-up emotions of defensiveness, and replacing them with top-down, insight...

In order to answer this question, we have to appreciate the thin line between anticipating future events and worrying about future events. The essential difference —anticipating versus worrying —has to do with the infusion of insecurity. In this Self-Coaching episode, you’ll find out why it’s important to take a step back from any life challenge or crisis and ask two important questions: ·        ...

Many people who struggle emotionally look back to their childhood for answers. But what happens when we scour our past only to find a "relatively" happy, loving, nurturing environment without any significant trauma or neglect? The confusion often occurs when, for example, a patient in therapy scours their childhood assuming there must be something-something dysfunctional, alcoholic, abusive, or ne...