Seeing Other People

Jake and I are officially in our new apartment (!!) and we’re unpacking all the highs and lows of moving week — including Ilana’s unexpected side gig babysitting our TaskRabbit’s kid. We also get into what it’s like being in the thick of marathon training, the gorgeous wedding we just went to, and our hot take on why wedding speeches matter way more than people think. Book a move with Roadway here...

I’m joined by musician Brett Altman, who recently left his finance career of 9 years to finally pursue music full-time and discovered that owning your story can completely change the way you date. We get into why you should never shrink yourself for someone who sees parts of you as a red flag, how to actually meet people IRL (yes, even at a bar), and what it takes to make a friends-with-benefits s...

Miriam Katz just launched one of the boldest projects in the dating world: a podcast where she interviews every single person she’s ever dated. They talk about what it’s really like to sit down with exes face-to-face, and the surprising insights Miriam has gained about love, closure, and self-discovery along the way. Ilana and Miriam also explore how past relationships shape us, the challenges of...

It’s our final episode in this apartment before the big move, and Ilana’s type A side is showing in full force during the packing process. In between boxes, we answer your questions about dating and relationships. We talk about whether it’s a red flag if someone doesn’t text while they’re away, what to do when you can’t stop thinking about the guy who wasn’t ready, how to move forward when somethi...

In this solo Q&A, I’m answering your biggest dating and friendship dilemmas — from why your ex still watches your Instagram stories, to how to say no to being a bridesmaid, to figuring out if “I’m not ready for a relationship” is the truth or just an excuse. We’ll talk jealousy, first dates, situationships, and how to trust again after heartbreak. Submit your questions or share why you and you...

After years of back-to-back heartbreaks, author Abby Rosmarin hit relationship rock bottom and made a radical decision: she stopped dating—completely—and committed to an entire year of choosing herself. Abby shares how she went from chasing love to enjoying her own company, and rebuilding from the inside out. We talk about loneliness, self-discovery, codependency, sexuality, and why, for her, bein...

This week we’re recording from Jake’s childhood bedroom, which of course led us to wonder what 13-year-old Jake would think of his life now. We share our life updates, what we’re grateful for, how we started packing way too early, and how football season is going to affect when we see each other. Then we dive into fall date activities—everything from apple picking to haunted houses—and decide whic...

Trigger Warning: Abuse. This anonymous guest shares the story of being with her ex for over eight years, navigating betrayal, abuse, and heartbreak—including infidelity, a pregnancy, and the chaos of planning a wedding that never happened. She reveals how their relationship ended abroad just weeks before her wedding, the shocking ways her ex continued his betrayal, and the lessons she learned abou...

I'm joined by my friend, fashion designer and founder of Maison Des Nus , Balim Tezel. We talk about what it’s like to build a life from scratch—moving to the U.S. for college, creating a chosen family in NYC, and launching the brand she dreamed of since childhood. Balim shares what dating for the first time in her twenties taught her about herself and what she was looking for, how she unexpectedl...

This week, we talk about the chaos of prepping for our move and how we’re handling all the changes together. We also get into Taylor's engagement, which reality TV shows we’d join (and why we’d be like if we were on The Bachelor), plus some marathon training updates. Submit your questions or share why you and your partner are cohosts for life at ⁠ speakpipe.com/sop ALL links   here  (dating coachi...

I went from hating running to completing my first half marathon and signing up for the NYC Marathon. On this episode I share my full running journey—injuries, mental battles, and everything in between. I cover how to start running without feeling overwhelmed, essential gear, pacing, nutrition, and staying motivated. Plus, I dive into why I actually love running, the sense of accomplishment it brin...

Just because someone ghosted you doesn’t mean they’re a narcissist. Ilana is joined by licensed therapist Carla Litto, LMFT, to unpack what actually makes someone a narcissist, what doesn’t, and why the term is being thrown around so loosely. They also talk about how to recognize real narcissistic behavior in relationships, what to do if you’re in one, and how to heal after emotional manipulation...

We announce a major life update, talk about how absurd the logistics of living in NYC are, and debate whether or not Ilana should start another new business. We also get into our favorite types of nights out (with each other, with friends, and with family), recap the funniest movie we’ve ever seen (no spoilers!), and complain about books that we hate and why it takes families forever to pick a mov...

On this Unfiltered, an anonymous guest opens up about how body image struggles, weight gain, and health issues in her mid-to-late 20s held her back from enjoying life — and almost stopped her from celebrating her own wedding. From dreading engagement photos and dress shopping to nearly eloping, she shares the turning point that changed everything and how she finally embraced the love and celebrati...

What really happens after someone cheats—and is there ever a way back? In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Monique Thompson, a licensed psychotherapist, bestselling author of the Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples . She reveals why “going back to the way it was” is never the goal, how to know if your discomfort is about your partner or your own unresolved past, and the science-backed number...

It's Ilana's 31st birthday! We're recapping a fun filled week including the Jonas Brothers concert that broke the internet, way too much sushi, and Jake's first attempt at painting pottery. We share an exciting and nerve wracking life update, and Ilana gets emotional thinking about what her 13 year old self would think of her 31 year old self. Submit your questions or share why you and your partne...

On this episode of Unfiltered, Sagari takes us through her powerful transformation from a self-proclaimed serial monogamist stuck in toxic relationship patterns to someone confidently single and truly thriving. She opens up about her breakup horror stories (yes, including one during a Broadway intermission), what kept her in relationships she knew weren’t right, and how she finally healed and reco...

This week, I’m joined by my run coach Victoria Sekely, DPT, for a candid conversation about living life on your own terms. We talk about the shocking way she met her husband, why she never wanted a traditional wedding, and her decision not to have kids. She shares how she navigates changing friendships as her friends become moms, finds fulfillment in other ways, and deals with people questioning h...

This week on Cohosts for Life, we’re talking about how our relationship wouldn’t exist without the Jonas Brothers (seriously), and how they’ve been woven into so many of our favorite memories. We share whether we would’ve been open to dating someone with a fandom as intense as our own (JoBros & Jets), and Ilana gives her honest thoughts on Jake’s Jets obsession. Plus, a recap of a jam-packed w...

Ilana sits down with Allie—an almost 30-year-old who’s never officially had a boyfriend despite years of dating in New York City. Allie opens up about the emotional complexity behind her dating experience, from living with anxiety to navigating body image struggles and self-doubt. They talk about the challenge of watching friends enter relationships while you’re still trying to “meet someone,” the...

TW: This episode may be triggering to those with sensitivities around sexual abuse. Fresh off a blindsided breakup, Amy Richman dives right back into dating while processing what happened. We debate the idea of soulmates, whether “right person, wrong time” is real, and what romance in relationships truly looks like. She also opens up about how a difficult first sexual experience affected her for y...

Ilana and Jake break down a whirlwind 10 days weeks that take them across four states, wrangling three dogs, surviving a six-hour quest for TikTok-famous pizza, and squeezing in a last minute night at the Comedy Cellar. Ilana tackles an unofficial half marathon, while the duo reflects on the agony of losing out on Gracie Abrams tickets, why it's okay that they often travel without each other, Jake...

We’re told that once we find the right person—boyfriend, fiancé, husband—everything will fall into place. But when I got the relationship I always wanted, I realized it didn’t magically fix my insecurities, anxiety, or self-worth. In this episode, I’m opening up about what didn’t get better in my relationship and the surprising things that actually helped me feel more confident, grounded, and whol...

Carli—friend and now 4x Unfiltered guest (you can catch her most recent episode linked below)—is back for a very real conversation about all the moments we ignore the red flags… until we can’t. We talk about brushing things under the rug, what it feels like to know something’s off but not be ready to walk away, and the pain of breaking up with someone you still love. We get into what it means when...

In this episode of Cohosts for Life, we’re taking you behind the scenes of our relationship—not just the milestones you see on social media, but the ones that shaped us the most. We walk through the major (and not-so-major) moments that brought us closer, the surprising moments that felt bigger than expected, and missed moments where we almost didn’t end up together. We also recap Jake’s birthday...