Securing Sexuality

Melissa Saavedra is a Navy Veteran, romance novel connoisseur, and the founder of Steam Box- an artfully assembled, intentionally diverse, monthly box of hot reading, self-care products, and the occasional toy or two. This week, she's here to tell Stef and Wolf all about her path towards becoming an inclusive erotica entrepreneur as well as the conference she's hosting this fall for Romanc...

Anyone who knows Stefani knows that she is pink OBSESSED. From her hair to her desk, her brand can be summed up (in the words of her Rabbi) as "pink, controversial, and Jewish." So it's no wonder that Stef & Wolf's first post-pandemic trip back to the movie theater was to see Greta Gerwig's summer hit, the Barbie movie. It was slightly more surprising to Wolf to learn exa...

Straithe is a social robotics, privacy/security, and human-computer interaction researcher and all-around badass. She's an expert in the ways our use of technology inform how we engage and form relationships with others- coworkers and grocery store clerks, partners and doctors, and everyone in between. Straithe believes that we build empathy for each other when we show empathy to the robots in...

Flash back with us to early May, when Wolf and Stef were still on their European Sabbatical. Somewhere on the continent, there exists a cyber brothel- probably more than one, actually- and Stefani decided to check it out... for science. If you've ever wanted an experience that can only be described as somewhere between Labyrinth and Taken, this episode is for you. Listen in as Wolf and Stef re...

Brad "RenderMan" Haines" has been hacking things his whole life, but has been doing it professionally for over 20 years. Based out of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada,  he has done  work to expose vulnerabilities in wireless networks, Government and corporate networks around the world, Air Traffic Control systems, and most recently, connected sex toys. He is the founder of the Internet of...

Recently, Wolf was asked by some friends of ours to offer safety suggestions for therapists working with clients who belong to targeted people- trans folks, queer people, women accessing reproductive healthcare, and others. This conversation is necessary because those who are fighting against the rights of these communities aren't just attacking legislatively- they're going after individua...

Did you know that only 29 states require schools to teach sex education... and that 1/3 of those do NOT require this education to be medically accurate? Most of us were lucky enough to learn the "birds and bees basics" at some point before graduation; but how many of us were taught how to turn down unwanted attention with grace and tact- or to receive that no without shame or anger? That...

Recorded live at the AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists) annual conference, Wolf and Stef sit down with author and activist Jane Fleishman to discuss her book The Stonewall Generation: LGBT Elders on Sex, Activism, and Aging. Jane tells us about using 1-800 numbers to find the next protest, singing songs while stuffing envelopes, and the best possible wa...

Wolf and Stef are joined by Jackie Rotman, founder and CEO of The Center for Intimacy Justice, a nonprofit advocacy group focused on challenging ongoing censorship of information about sexual health for women and people of diverse genders by social media conglomerates. In this episode, Jackie explains why advertising menstrual products on Instagram is an act of social justice, how visibility impac...

Can ChatGPT make us better at flirting? Can AI replace my therapist? Should Stef & Wolf outsource this whole darn podcast to our future robot overlords? What does it mean to form a romantic attachment to a personality that may or may not actually exist? This week we explore all the ways in which people are using artificial intelligence to mediate their relationships- romantic, professional, an...

SexTech Revolutionary Cindy Gallop doesn't want much... she only wants to change the world. In this week's episode, Stef and Wolf are joined by the pioneering, activist, TED Talk speaker, and founder of the website Make Love, Not Porn to unpack the differences between social sex videos and pornography and learn more about how reframing our understanding of erotica can revitalize our societ...

Our intrepid and incorrigible co-hosts return from their epic multi-country learning extravaganza! This week, they're debriefing their experiences in ancient brothels, modern red-light districts, Spanish museums, and German nightclubs. They've spent the last seven weeks meeting up with some of the leading sexuality researchers, educators, and clinicians in Europe, and they're here to t...

Touch, connection, companionship- these are primal needs. Cultures around the world teach that "It is not good for man to be alone"... but that doesn't mean companionship has to come from another human, right? Where do robots and digital personalities factor into our human quest for connection? How can technology help foster intimate justice and pleasure equity? Are there limits to w...

Slightly less than one year ago, the Securing Sexuality podcast was launched to provide immediate, actionable security advice to people grappling with the Dobbs ruling, which overturned Roe v. Wade. We worried then about the way that personal data and digital communications would be weaponized against people seeking reproductive health care. Eight months later, Stef and Wolf revisit the topic to d...

Remember back when the internet was new? Honestly... probably not. We're two generations removed from the dawn of the internet age and even those who were born before the days of the "information superhighway" find their memories of life before AOL rather blurry. The problem with living in this new age of ubiquitous tech is that we've all gotten used to it- we don't think muc...

What does it take to make Wolf nervous? Is the prospect of dating a serial killer enough to make him break a sweat? What steps should you take to protect yourself when you're meeting someone (or going somewhere) new? Are those fancy, jewelry-style personal safety baubles worth the cost or do they open you up to a whole new category of risk? We answer all those questions and more this week on S...

Mandatory reporting laws are a cornerstone of the modern American social contract. Americans assume that those in positions of trust and authority- teachers, therapists, doctors, and others- will use their authority to protect those who are at risk of being abused; and this assumption is both a source of anxiety (for those who want to live and parent free from governmental oversight) and reassuran...

Every week, Wolf and Stef bring you a conversation with someone they find interesting, or a topic that caught their attention. In other words? They ALWAYS get to choose what they talk about. Until today! In this episode, Wolf and Stef are joined by Frank Mons, Communications Director for The Bound Together Foundation. He's got a list of queries submitted by listeners and he's going to make...

"Everything good is bad for you", the old expression goes. You like steak? Here comes heart disease. You want to lay out on the beach? Hello, melanoma! You want to relax and play some video games? Well guess what, buddy... you're an addict! It's easy to make everything seem harmful when we don't have a solid. understand of what healthy looks like. That steak? Helps with anemi...

Mental health providers across the country are watching with trepidation and outrage as Oklahoma codifies a new rule that would require every licensed therapist to upload client data into a statewide shared system. This week, Stefani and Wolf explain why this is such a terrible idea for patients and providers.  The state's Health Care Authority Board meets to discuss APA WF 22-16 just 72 hours...

Often confused for censorship or conflated with community standards, it seems like everyone has an opinion about about net neutrality... but few understand what it really entails. This week, Wolf and Stef are joined by facilitator, sex educator, and media justice advocate Bianca Laureano who helps us break the topic down, explore how it impacts our every day digital lives, and explain why this eso...

This term, the United States Supreme Court is set to rule on Section 230- the law that (it's been said) "created the internet." Like most laws, it's deceptively simple. And like many aging adults, the Justices aren't quite as up on their digital literacy as they could be. Their ruling (due late Spring) could dismantle the web as we know it. Or? It might result in a beautifull...

D-types spend a LOT of time thinking about how best to guide, direct, and nurture their submissives. User Experience (UX) designers do the exact same thing for every website visitor! This week we are joined by Stephanie Spiegal, AKA Miss Stevie, a User Experience Designer turned professional dominatrix who tells us all about how design thinking helps her create scenes for her submissives, while BD...

What do hacker cons, sexology cons, and GalaxyCon have in common (beside the fact that Wolf and Stef spent their December attending EACH of these events)? They all draw an audience of people who find smarts VERY sexy. This week, we're talking about sapiosexuality- sexual attraction to intelligence. And you don't have to be classically "booksmart" to have a big, sexy, brain. There...

From Reddit and Instagram to WhatsApp and Slack, it seems like everyone carries their social circle around in their pockets these days. Self-help and support groups covering everything from grief and loss to substance use (and everything in between) exist everywhere from Facebook to 4Chan.  From a privacy perspective, this kinda makes Wolf wince! But we can't deny the reality that society is m...