Secure Marriage Podcast

Do you want to fight less with your husband or wife? You need to learn how to develop empathy. Do you want to have a better sex life? You need to have more empathy. Do you want to be genuinely happy and content in your relationship? Then start developing empathy. If there was one magic bullet for marriage, it’s be empathy. When you have empathy, you have a marital super power. But most peopl...

The other day I posted a question on a Facebook Marriage Group asking, “What’s the one thing you wish you would have known about your spouse before you got married?” Within two days, I had 158 replies, all of which shared pain, hurt, and discouragement with their husband or wife. This got me thinking, what IS the most important thing to look for in a husband or wife before you ge...

This episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast is just a personal update letting you know how Shannon and I are doing in this crazy new world. Like every other relationship out there, our marriage is being affected by the Corona Virus and the social-distancing rules. Even though Shannon and I are usually on the same page, when it comes to being quarantined, we have very different opinions. We’r...

If your husband or wife has cheated on you, you want to avoid getting hurt and make sure that never happens to you again. You also have legitimate questions or doubts that get in the way of trust. How do you know if the person is truly sorry? What do you look for to know if they’re telling the truth? In this episode, we look at the things an unfaithful spouse can do so it’s easier (and...

Talking about feelings can feel awkward and uncomfortable for two main reasons. First, you might be that task-oriented person who doesn’t realize they actually have feelings and have no idea how to identify a feeling even if it came up and bit you on the butt. Or second, when you do share your feelings, your husband or wife doesn’t know what to do with your feelings and you feel comple...

Do you know the primary need of your husband or wife? Did you even know that women have a primary need and men have a primary need? (Hint… event though they’re different words, both words start with the letter ‘S’.) Did you also know these two needs are the source of 95% of all of your fights as a married couple? It’s true. If you want to understand yourself and your...

When your husband or wife wants to try something new, it can rock the relationship boat. Things can feel uncomfortable, scary, or simply frustrating because life is no longer “normal”. If you’re not careful, the new thing can become a lightning rod for fights and conflict (and really… who wants to go through that). In today’s podcast episode Shannon and I share about...

Shannon and I just got back from celebrating her parent’s 50th Wedding Anniversary in Southern California. She threw them a wonderful party and they were overjoyed and deeply thankful. At the party, we asked those who were attending to share something they appreciated about Bill & Betsy, and the question got us thinking, “What will people say about our relationship when we’re...

We know at some point, you and your spouse couldn’t agree on some major decision and it’s ended up in a fight. (Yeah, we’ve been watching you). Like every couple out there, Shannon and I struggle with this age old issue as well. So, to let you know you’re not alone, we thought we’d bring you along as we work through a big-ish decision for our family. (Plus tell you of...

Imagine how your marriage would change if, later today, your husband or wife stopped you in the kitchen and asked you, with all genuineness, “What can I do to be a better spouse for you today?” How would you feel? What would that question communicate about how he or she feels about you? In today’s episode, you’ll get to hear Shannon’s response to the question and why...

When your husband or wife says they’ll do something and then they drop the ball and don’t follow through, doubt and mistrust starts to creep in (understandably). When this happens over and over, it can be tough to rebuild trust again. In this episode, we’re opening the virtual mail bag and tackling a real scenario sent in from one of our six listeners as they wrestle with this tr...

Wouldn’t it be nice to stop wasting time and finally get down to the REAL issues in your marriage? We think so too. That’s why in this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we introduce a new super-simple tool that does exactly that.

Driving home from work the other day, I came up with a super simple technique that makes communicating with your spouse more awesomer. Even better, I came up with a crazy title you’re likely not to forget (which means you’re more apt to actually use it and enjoy the benefits of it). If you want to see what we’re talking about, listen to this slightly out-of-the-ordinary episode o...

If you’re like us, whenever your husband or wife is hurting because of something they’ve done to themselves, it’s… (how do I put it)… “difficult” to show them support and understanding. Yet, believe it or not, this is one of the BEST times to show them kindness and empathy. WHY? Great question. Glad you asked. Listen to this week’s episode and we&#82...

Everyone knows, as a married couple you need to know how to resolve conflict. But wouldn’t it be better to know how to avoid the conflict in the first place? In today’s podcast episode, listen in and find out how a misplaced bed sheet helped us discover one of the best tools at preventing conflict and disagreements in our relationship.

If you’re the one who ALWAYS has to go first because your husband or wife won’t initiate, it’s easy to become resentful, discouraged, and disappointed. You may even be tempted to start withdrawing and telling yourself, “I’m not going to try any more until THEY start trying harder.” In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we want you to know that you&#821...

The holiday season isn’t always the easiest, especially when it involves extended family. Old conflicts… Unresolved tensions… Unspoken expectations… all of these lead to stress and frustration. And who usually gets the brunt of your distress? Yep. Your husband or wife. To avoid hurting each other this holiday season, we’ve put together a short list of easy-to-do thing...

Admit it. If your spouse changed that one-little-thing about them, you’d probably be a lot happier. Right? Everyone wants to change their spouse a little bit. So why not give your spouse the best… gift… ever… and do that FOR them. Take a few minutes and ask yourself, “What can I do differently that would make the marriage better?” And then do it. How awesome wou...

Sex can become frustrating when it feels like you’re not wanted by your spouse. If you’re not careful, it can lead to a battle-of-the-wills and a toxic game of who’s-gonna-go-first. We don’t want this to happen to your marriage. In this episode you’ll learn the healthy way to handle your frustration and disappointment in your marriage.

What if you had to do just one thing to GUARANTEE you’ll have an awesome marriage? Sound too good to be true? Feeling a little skeptical? That’s totally understandable. Yet, we think we’ve found “The Magic Question” that comes pretty darn close. Want to know what it is? (Of course you do). Just listen to today’s episode, and see if you agree.

If your sex life has been a struggle in your marriage, sexual shame may have something to do with it. Fortunately, sexual shame CAN be fixed if you follow the two simple rules we talk about in this episode of the podcast. They’re not difficult, but they are essential to make your sex life even better in your relationship.

If sex has gotten boring and… uneventful in your relationship, but you’re not sure how to bring it up with your spouse, then today’s podcast is just for you. In this episode, you’ll learn why sex tends to taper off in long-term marriages, what you can do to reignite the spark, and the most important skill you can learn to have an awesome sex life. We hope you enjoy. P.S. We...

If your spouse is suffering from any type of illness—physical or emotional—it can be taxing on a marriage. It’s easy to want to give up, run away, hide, shut down, or lash out. Instead, even though it’s not easy, we’re called to unconditionally love our husband or wife, no matter what. In this episode, we’ll share with you what our early years of marriage looked like and ho...

Are you a wife that’s feeling lonely and less-than-important because your husband gives all of his attention to work and providing for the family? If so you’re not alone. Since I’m self-employed, this issue is one that Shannon and I have had to deal with. As the sole provider for our family, it’s easy to allow the financial strain and stress to highjack my mind all the time...

The way you communicate with your husband or wife will determine is you have a happy marriage or a frustrating marriage. Then there are certain things that you may be doing that are GUARANTEED to destroy your marriage. Now, don’t worry. Everyone has done at least one of these things in their relationship. It’s the couples that don’t stop and take the time to examine their communi...