Secret Life

Love bombing is a common abuse tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths to manipulate situations to their advantage. It is the key gaslighting tactic in the Idealization phase of abuse, preceding the far more obvious Devaluation and Discarding stages. Amanda Montell innocently texted her friend’s older brother in Hollywood while she was in high school. What followed was a calculated and abusive r...

What do we hold to be true for ourselves? How do those beliefs affect how we share, communicate and process situations that happen in our lives? If I believe that I’m supposed to have children, and I don’t, then I’m a failure. If I believe I’m supposed to have a specific career or look a certain way, but I don’t, am I a failure? Brianne and Shane look at our core beliefs and how we will keep secre...

 “Everybody has sex,” says Rue. “The only difference is that I charged for it.” Rue was a sex worker in her early 20s, working for the madam of Heidi Fleiss. Even though that life is far behind her (she’s married and an educator now), she still firmly believes in the decriminalization of sex workers. It's estimated that there are at least 1 million prostitutes in the United States and 40-42 mi...

Alexander Pope wrote, "to err is human, to forgive divine." Sometimes forgiving ourselves can be the hardest thing to do. Guilt is a feeling you get when you did something wrong or perceived you did something wrong. Shame is a feeling that your whole self is wrong. Releasing shame and guilt involves learning to empathize and forgive. When you can forgive and care for others, you'll lea...

Before her recovery, Jean McCarthy ran a very successful and high profile business in her community. Even though she's helped thousands of people, written and published books, has a successful podcast with millions of downloads, almost nobody in her town has any clue. ______ If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we'...

Getting sober and maintaining sobriety while in a relationship can be a challenge.  Both people getting sober, maintaining that sobriety, AND staying in the relationship are sadly not very common. Devyn and Jess share how they’ve grown together. ______ If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resou...

Raised with an emotionally absent mom and a physically absent dad, Tawny Lara found herself self-medicating for years and acting out sexually. Gratefully, she found recovery and was able to look at her rage and confront it head-on. ______ If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secret...

One incredible year and sixty-four episodes later, Brianne Davis and Mark Gantt discuss some of the takeaways they've had—the breakthroughs, the breakdowns, and the gratitude for this incredible journey. _____ TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE INCLUDE gratitude, attitude, self-care, body image, podcasts, self-love, addiction, recovery, sex & love addiction, taboo subjects, courage, freedom, and happi...

What a perfect way to celebrate our first year of Secret Life and the 64th produced episode!! Dyxie shares some truly unbelievable dating and sex stories in this hilarious episode that will have you on the floor laughing. ______ If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcas...

Kamala Jones and Brianne Davis share their stories and struggle with fibroids and major surgery. Something that is very common, but rarely talked about. The National Institutes of Health estimates that 80% of all women will develop uterine fibroids at some point during their lives. Because many women don't experience any symptoms, it's possible the incidence of uterine fibroids is even hig...

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." — Confucius. Recovery from addiction is incredibly challenging. Taking away or stopping the drink, drug, food, person, cigarette, gambling, or sex doesn't make our problems go away. Instead, it shines the light on all those feelings we were trying to disconnect and numb ourselves from. In this episode, Jaso...

Acting for television and movies since the age of six, Danielle Harris became a parentified child after her father died when she was just seven. With no male role models in her life, Danielle found herself in an uncontrollable and self-destructive pattern of unhealthy relationships. As she struggled with issues surrounding sex and love addiction, she attended 12-step meetings for a while and ultim...

Known for her incredible bravery and courage to bare her soul to the world through her podcast, Terrible, Thanks For Asking, and social media, Nora reveals a secret that she's struggled with recently. When you're so public with almost everything, what can you keep private?  ______ If you or anyone you know is struggling with an addiction, depression, trauma, or sexual abuse, we've comp...

Whether it was past sexual abuse, a conservative upbringing, or deep-seated Catholic beliefs, Carla was filled with shame whenever she had sexual experiences that weren't "traditional." She's now committed to using her platform and experience to help others embrace their authentic self. Carla Russo is a writer, transformational mentor and senior editor at HuffPost. In between journ...

For decades Court chased after the unavailable woman. After years of causing harm to herself and others, she finally found recovery from sex and love addiction. This episode is jam-packed with so many secrets and her beautiful self-discovery. ______ JUNE IS LGBT PRIDE MONTH - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month (LGBT Pride Month) is celebrated annually in June to honor the 1969 Ston...

The lie that nearly destroyed Amy wasn’t that she was married and in love with a woman; it was when her heart was broken by the woman—Amy was in a downward spiral and couldn’t ask for help. How do we live an authentic life when the dark thoughts feel so real? In the episode, Amy shares her secrets and the healing road towards self-love and being her true authentic self. We're so proud of her!...

It was the summer of 1979 when Spencer discovered pornographic magazines with naked men while visiting Paris. Like a classic murder mystery, his coming out story will have you on the edge of your seat. ______ JUNE IS LGBT PRIDE MONTH - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month (LGBT Pride Month) is celebrated annually in June to honor the 1969 Stonewall riots, and works to achieve equal j...

Postpartum bipolar disorder , the mood disorder Leah was diagnosed with, is virtually unheard of. Postpartum bipolar is also known as  bipolar, peripartum onset , and it's arguably the least known of the  six postpartum mood and anxiety disorders . *Trigger Warning: Please note that this episode contains topics of suicide and sexual abuse. Some people may find it disturbing.  Most people who s...

As a successful actor in tv and film, having a tic could easily be seen as a significant challenge. Still, with the help of a therapist, Jack discovered his tic was, in fact, a low-grade case of Tourette Syndrome. After suffering decades of shame for an undiagnosed "bad habit", Jack eventually found a way to control it and the addiction to negative thinking that went along with it. To DOWN...

Dealing with mental and physical health problems before she even hit her 20s taught Rachel a lot. She learned what she wanted out of life and about the things that helped her get through very dark times. And perhaps most importantly, she realized that you can never know what someone else is going through. People go through all kinds of shit that we don't know about. Rachel's goal is to mak...

Body dysmorphic disorder is a mental health disorder in which you can't stop thinking about one or more perceived defects or flaws in your appearance — a flaw that appears minor or can't be seen by others. But you may feel so embarrassed, ashamed and anxious that you may avoid many social situations. — Body dysmorphic disorder - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic Body dysmorphic disorder af...

After sexual abuse, teenage rape, suicide attempt, drug abuse, imprisonment, toxic relationships and chronic pain condition, Natalie now a self-esteem and relationship coach shares about how she managed to overcome the trauma and learned to love herself back to life. If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction or depression, we've compiled a list of resources on the Secret Life Webs...

TRIGGER WARNING - This episode contains topics of sexual abuse by a parent and trauma. Some people may find it disturbing. The Secret Life team is committed to engaging in uncomfortable conversations to shed light and hope on some of the darkest topics. Our intention is to create a space for guests and listeners to release the shame attached to situations they had no control over. Amber was just 6...

When Jim Clemente walked into the Bronx home of his former summer camp director, it wasn’t for old time’s sake. The twenty-something Clemente was wearing a wire. Federal agents and an NYPD detective were listening in. And his old camp boss, Michael J. O’Hara, was showing Clemente pictures of kids he’d molested — just like he’d abused Clemente a decade prior. Clemente had convinced the predator he...

Dancing With the Stars' Cheryl Burke has been very open about her abuse as a young girl and recently about her recovery from alcohol, but it wasn't until she had Brianne on her own podcast did she realize that she too struggled with sex and love addiction. _______ This year, President Biden announced that April 2021 is National Child Abuse Prevention Month.  He calls upon all Americans to...