Seaside Pod Review (A Queen Podcast)

"The stranger came early in February, one wintry day, through a biting wind and a driving snow, the last snowfall of the year, over the down, walking as it seemed from Bramblehurst railway station, and carrying a little black portmanteau in his thickly gloved hand. He was wrapped up from head to foot, and the brim of his soft felt hat hid every inch of his face but the shiny tip of his nose; the s...

Truck yeah? Fuck no! A week late week for Valentine's day, it's time to hold hands with your significant other, take a long walk down the beach together, look deeply into each other's eyes and say "Whaddya fancy for supper then...?" There's a touch of class about this week's song and even if Roger thought it belonged in a knitting circle rather than a rock band's repertoire, it still make the top...

Strawberries can go fuck themselves. Blueberries can go fuck themselves. Kraft Dinner? Yep, it can go fuck itself. What about peanut butter? Absolutely 100% suitable for a good go fuck yourself. That’s just list of foods I find unacceptable and I feel should be banned, but we’re not here to talk about shitty eats. We’re here to talk about killer beats. Come on so heavy, cos we’re talkin’ Queen. To...

Bangkok to Saskatoon, kick a dick and see ya soon. That’s the opening number in my new rock opera titled “I wish I could think of a better blurb for this podcast”. I’m not gonna lie, I miss old Randy doing the intros and outros. Don’t tell him I said this but he’s kinda good at them. Anyway, chop all the letters out of the newspaper and blackmail the local vicar, cos if Kev were to title this epis...

You know we love you but you drive us crazy! Randy is off globetrotting on the other side of the pale blue dot, shoveling sushi and noodle bowls into his poodle hole and generally having a grand old time without me! Well, I’ll show him what for in the intro and outro. Slip it into first, push the seats back, and enjoy the ride, we’re talkin’ Queen. If Kev were to title this episode, he’d probably...

Don't stop me now I'm here, Dear Friends will be Friends, Don't lose your headlong, A human body language, and Father to son and daughter. Phew, Pank sure was busy coming up with song title mashups on social media yesterday wasn’t he! I blame Richard Hearn. Look, we passed the open windows last week, but we’re talkin’ defenestration, we’re talkin’ ‘bout da Vinci and Rembrant, but most of all, we’r...

Welcome to another episode of this ridiculous podcast, with ridiculous hosts who have ridiculous opinions talking to ridiculous listeners about a ridiculous band. It's just ridiculous. Randy pulls out his Wilford Brimley impersonation and is absolutely delighted by the sight of Freddie's football getup in the Gaga video and Brian's bone guitar! We also get down to the serious questions, like...

Picture the scene; a small village pub where a young couple are enjoying a quiet drink together before going to tell her parents that they're engaged to be married. They hear a low rumbling in the distance that gets steadily louder, to the point where their small wrought iron table starts to shake and the barely-twenty somethings grab their drinks (he a pint of Strongbow, she a delicate rosé from...

It's a Roger tune. It's from Sheer Heart Attack. It's a song The Cardinal does not know, so Kev gets to watch his pal hear the song for the first time. We get into the weeds about endings and medleys and solos, oh my! There's more talk about Metallica's drummer (honestly, this is the last week!) and Randy reveals why he didn't buy his wife a Christmas present this year. He also gets all emotional...

Kev was just tryin' to pod. That's all. He wasn't asking for much. We get into the weeds about a brown Christmas, Randy is still salty about not being able to get a burger in Kindersley at 11pm, and the boys discover that they have a potential double act that they may or may not choose to exploit at some future point. Also, Kevin makes a very strange noise and there's an awful lot of childish titt...

Randy and Kev hit upon a phenomenal business idea after identifying a serious gap in the market where banjo players are concerned. The accordian is selected rather than a kazoo, we find that Arpeggio isn't the current AC Milan left back (who knew!), and Randy called his shot; well, on the album front at least! It's all going down on this week's episode and we'd like to drag you into the insane muc...

"Hey guys, the bass player wrote a song and he wants to play it for us". "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, wait, what? You're serious? Oh OK then, yeh let's hear the bass player's 'song'..." That's usually the way it goes in bands but John's first contribution made it onto side two of 1974's adventurous masterpiece, Sheer Heart Attack. Roger gets a new drum, Kev's the Turkey of the Month, and we ge...

I had this perfect dream... and then I woke up. But, weirdly, when I woke up, I found out that Randy is running for the office of the Prime Minister of the Central African Republic! Yeh, THAT Randy! The guy who downvoted The Prophet's Song! I mean, how in the green shit did we end up here? Well, you can listen to the episode to find out, but you're gonna have to wade through a whole lot of us talk...

Back to the first record! We're trapped in the seventies for a third week in a row and we are not mad about that! I checked on Wikipedia and apparently, this Jesus fella was kind of a big deal in Judea in the 0000s. You probably know him best from his range of sandles and uncomfortable headwear but to many he was much better known as a carpenter, principally through his Dad's construction business...

Well, we're going back a couple more years and heading to Sheer Heart Attack. Kevin almost manifested the song for the second time!!! No, seriously, he was like 3 pixels away!!! Randy knows this song, Kev knows this song and the boys get into a discussion about whether Roger Taylor is swinging the beat. Kev insists he is, Randy is not convinced! The first song that Queen ever played live and a mai...

We've gone forward to the past! Yes, we've abandoned synths and drum machines, said farewell to high-gloss production and made our way back to Frank's house to talk about one of Deacy's very best tunes. We'll discover what hairy big toes have to do with anything, what Randy has been spending his time doing instead of working on proper music, and there's more whining and moaning about Sportsball fr...

Back to the Miracle sessions! We're stuck in the 80s folks. It's lycra pants, polyester jackets and really, really, really bad haircuts all the way! It's also damn near our one year anniversary! We're so thankful for all of you who have tuned in to our nonsensical ramblings and incredibly sorry to have put you to so much trouble! Can Kev and Randy find anything nice to say about another song from...

Four weeks in a row now we've been stuck in the 80s. We feel like a modern Marty McFly and Doc Brown. And as Randy is older than Kevin, that makes him Doc Brown, which is slightly confusing because that's Kevin's surname. Hey ho. What does Alanis Morissette have to do with The Miracle? A complete lack of understanding of the meaning of words apparantly. Every drop of rain that falls in Sahara Dese...

What the hell is a case hammer? No, no, no, it's Kaeshammer. Michael Kaeshammer - and we talked about the gig we went to a little bit in this one. We also see the return of LaCROSS-TALK albeit only conceptually. Look, Celine Dion is so Celine now there is none more Celine than she. And also, to make sure the algorithms work; Corey Morrissette. How do we know what NASA isn't telling us huh??? We do...

From the dawn of time we came; moving silently down through the centuries, living many secret lives, struggling to reach the time of the Gathering; when the few who remain will battle to the last. No one has ever known we were among you... until now. This week we're covering a song that Kev has a strong emotional connection to and Randy hasn't heard before!!! How is that possible? Well, he's Canad...

It was the best of podcasts, it was the worst of podcasts, it was the podcast of wisdom, it was the podcast of foolishness, it was the podcast of belief, it was the podcast of incredulity, it was the podcast of light, it was the podcast of darkness, it was the podcast of hope, it was the podcast of despair. Track One from The Miracle this week folks. People have opinions about this song. They're n...

Due to technical issues (AKA, Kev's an absolute knobhead!) we're presenting you with B-Side Pod Review installment ahead of schedule this week. Look, we all know that the solo output from the members of Queen rarely, if ever, reached the heights of what they accomplished as a quartet, but you know what? That's not gonna stop Randy and Kev from rambling on about it at the same sort of length they d...

Hello all you wagoners, politicians, pedagogues, thiefs, tailors, ploughboys, harridans, and tatterdemalions. The fairy folk have gathered 'round the new moon shine To see the feller crack a nut at night's noon time. To swing his axe he swears, as he climbs he dares To deliver another episode of Seaside Pod Review. Sit back, grab a comfy seat and a good beer, cos we’re talking Queen! If I were to...

SURPRISE! It's bonus content time. Randy is now a bonus content creator and he's thrilled about it! As if you haven't suffered enough this week, we thought we'd foist an unrequested episode on you. We were just hanging around online and decided to take a look back at the first forty episodes and pick ten songs that we'd put on an album. And then talk about it. For too long. It's what we do! Not to...

We have to talk about Roger's car song. Pistons, hub caps, radials, gear shifts, and grease guns are all in play! Look, we're not saying it sounds like a seven year old in a hurry wrote these lyrics, but we're also not saying it doesn't! We talk about Billboard's laughable top fifty rock singers of all time, David Bowie (yes, THE David Bowie) tells us a story about seeing Mick Jagger for the first...