Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

Do you allow yourself to acknowledge that you've been traumatized, or may have been? It's an essential beginning step for understanding why you feel a certain way, or have a particularly negative view of yourself. Emotional abuse can definitely create trauma within you. In this episode, you'll hear very specific information about trauma and how the body takes it in. When you are traumatized, you o...

You want to be a good person, a nice person. Your parents probably wanted that for you, too. Yet, you find yourself on the receiving end of emotional abuse, and you don't understand what you did wrong. Nothing, likely! Hijackals--narcissists, anti-socials, borderlines-histrionics--look for "nice" people who they hope will bend over backwards to do things for them. Especially, they are delighted by...

You cannot get blood from a stone, and you cannot get emotional intimacy with a Hijackal. Yes, in the beginning of the relationship, they do a good job of imitating a person with whom you could develop that emotionally intimate connection that lasts a lifetime. No, they actually don't have either the capacity or the willingness to do it, though. Learn to recognize the clear signs of a person who w...

You can begin healing even while you're in an emotionally abusive situation, small steps and nano-seconds of healing. Understanding my phases of healing from emotional abuse encourages you to begin and continue the healing journey. Wherever you are--even if you have not started the journey yet, seeing there is a pathway can help. If you want to be emerging empowered from a past or present in which...

Too many times, you hope a Hijackal will be different. They may even promise to be, or seem to understand the need to change. But, it's just for a hot minute, right? These ten ways Hijackals generally behave are ones you need to believe will never change...no matter what is promised. Really! Hijackals and other narcissistic people are focused on meeting their own needs. Self-absorbed. Self-involve...

The Fawning Response creates a constant imbalance in a relationship. Hijackals love that! You're helping them control you, and you sure don't want to do that for a moment longer, right? Fawning happens when you attempt to avoid conflict and trauma by appeasing people and demonstrating or feigning interest to earn the approval of others. Sadly, it also causes you to deny your rights, interests, tho...

When you deeply think about these eighteen reasons, you'll recognize eighteen things you can heal so you won't attract, or keep, an emotional abuser. It's a BIG step to recognize these because you are capable of changing...especially when you know exactly what and why to change. The Hijackal, the emotionally abusive person, will not change. You will...once you clearly see what' needs to change! Em...

The holidays bring out the worst in Hijackals. I'm sure you've noticed. Why does this happen? What do you need to be watching for? And, what do you do to? This episode can help you reclaim your power during the holidays.  When you're living with, have left, or were raised by Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult, self-centered people, you may dread the holidays. Hijackals are much more than...

Whether it is parents or partners that make you feel worthless, unwanted, and unappreciated, it leads to emotional abuse. It's important to recognize these basic truths about emotional abuse so they will not continue to damage your life. Hijackals and other emotional abusers don't want you to feel worthy, wanted, or welcome. That would make you their equal and they are having none of that. You've...

Sometimes, it's hard to see emotional abuse when it's happening. Sometimes, you were young and thought it was normal. What about now? Are you living in it, or suffering from the long-term effects of it? How do you know? Listen for answers to these questions. Emotional abuse can be hard to recognize in the beginning. Some people have difficult naming it, even after experiencing it for far too long....

We all have things we fear, things we may not even be conscious of. Hijackals exploit your deepest root fears to manipulate and control. They make those fears worse and more real. Recognize these fears and how the Hijackal feeds them . Oxford Languages defines fear as "an unplesasant emotion caused by the believe someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat." There are many...

Everyone experiences trauma differently. Frequently, folks don't recognize or acknowledge their trauma, either. This episode will help you understand how you may--or may not--have processed trauma, and why you may be recreating it, too. You cannot separate the mind from the body. They are constantly interacting and informing one another. When you have experienced trauma, both your mind and body ar...

The energetics of relationships with Hijackals can shut you down emotionally, and even physically. Understanding what happens within yourself and why can help you thaw, move, and take action in your own best interests. You need to hear this to empower yourself and get unstuck!  You are not powerless, although you may be feeling that way. You may be so worn down and torn down that you are over...

Knowing what healthy love is allows you to examine your own relationship more accurately. Don't settle for crumbs. Wait for the full meal. Did you see healthy love growing up? Did you experience it? Did you feel it? Did it make you feel safe and loved for who you were as you grew? If you didn't experience this when you were young, you may be settling for less than is healthy now. Find out today! D...

Emotional abuse. Don't ignore, tolerate, or deny it. See it clearly for what it is, AND how it is affecting you daily. Do you feel putdown, degraded, or are your feelings dismissed and discounted? Is someone trying to control you and/or manipulate you? The whole idea behind emotionally abusing you is to tear you down and wear you down to a state of emotional exhaustion. In that state, the Hijackal...

Learn about the effects the "upside down parenting" of narcissists and other Hijackals can have on your adult life and relationships. Great insights to help you make positive changes, and life easier. First, though, you have to see it clearly to understand what really happened to you. Listen in to further understand the impact having a Hijackal parent makes. As a child, you have no experience and...

Hijackals are good at emotional blackmail. They are experts at the "Gotcha!" And, they constantly use it to their advantage. Learn more about the components of that blackmail and how to counteract them. Then, Hijackals fail to succeed at using it against you effectively! Learn what you can do to respond in empowering ways when narcissistic, borderline, or anti-social folks try to control you using...

Yes, Hijackal's eyes are not the windows to their souls as much as windows into their fears and desires to control. It's real. You're not imagining it. You can feel safer with the insights in this episode. Research shows that humans notice faces first. Generally, that is what attracts us. Eyes tell you so much, if you interpret their messages accurately. When dealing with Hijackals--narcissistic,...

You may not know these terms but you know the undercutting feeling one produces, and the scramble the other does! Very important to recognize and say no to! Listen in. Hijackals--people with narcissistic, borderline, passive-aggressive, anti-social traits--play to win. Only to win. They cannot and will not tolerate blame or shame to touch them and they work hard at being two or three steps ahead o...

Hijackals--passive-aggressive. narcissistic. anti-social folks--thrive on tearing you down. Sometimes, it's a slow picking at you. Sometimes, it's a constant beratement. Either way, you need to stop it from getting into your head and under your skin. And, if it's already there, I'll help you get it out. Listen in. Hijackals--my word for people who hijack relationships for their own needs and purpo...

Yet, it feels real, and you SO want it to be real. There's where the manipulation and confusion sets in. In this episode, I let you in on the secret that, much as you want it to be real, it isn't. (Did I mention that?) You need to see that clearly to keep from being hurt further! Empathy is defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary this way: " the action of understanding, being aware of, being sen...

Clearly see how narcissistic people try to control information flow by going through other people, their desired "flying monkeys." Are there other people in your relationship with the Hijackal who are being approached by the Hijackal to serve their purposes? Do they engage them? Learn how to think about all that! SO important to recognize triangulation when it is happening! If it's already happene...

Setting Boundaries. Calibrating Results. Making Decisions. No matter what the Hijackal thinks they are entitled to you need to set, express, and hold boundaries. In this episode, I'll give you effective ways to begin, or continue, setting clear boundaries and staying strong. Oh, and, what to do when those Hijackals trample them, too!  Yes, Hijackals are boundary bulldozers. They don't like bo...

No one likes to be rejected. It's uncomfortable, painful, and a blow to the self-confidence and self-esteem. What can you do about it? How do you think it through? It's more difficult in a relationship with a Hijackal, Listen in to understand the dynamics and know what steps to take to quell the fear of rejection.  if you had a Hijackal parent, you may well have developed a fear of rejec...

Even perfection won't and can't cut it if you're in relationship with a Hijackal of any stripes. This episode will help you understand this cycle, how it works, why it won't work, and why it needs to stop. These concepts can spell R-E-L-I-E-F for you! If you had a narcissistic or Hijackal parent, you were pre-conditioned to accept the poor treatment of a Hijackal. That's difficult enough! Then, yo...