Dan Savage
Savage Lovecast
Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex and relationship questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage. Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.
Author
Dan Savage
Category
Podcast website
Latest episode
Jul 10, 2026
Where to listen?
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Episodes
Savage Lovecast Episode 942 19.11.2024 54:11
We open with a somewhat disturbing call from a woman whose white boyfriend visits "wack shacks" when he travels. He hires Asian sex workers to submit to race play and degradation. She approves of him indulging his various kinks outside of their relationship, but this? It's the classic conundrum: the caller has a big wiener and his boyfriend has a small one. A dildo is not quite a penis. What can...
Savage Lovecast Episode 941 12.11.2024 56:23
First off, we hear from a neglected third in a poorly executed threeway hook-up. He failed to advocate for himself, and the other two guys weren't asking if he was ok, sitting on the couch, looking at his phone. How could this have gone better? And how can he get over the waves of insecurity he feels when he connects with these same guys again? A woman in an open relationship with a nine year-old...
Savage Lovecast Episode 940 05.11.2024 56:17
We're giving you a break from whatever stressful stuff is going on this week to bring you some of the more...interesting calls we've collected. A man's girlfriend wants to try saline injections on her breasts for a "24 hour boob job." The question is, can he safely do the injecting? A woman's cat is grieving the loss of her longtime companion, a small dog. Now the kinky feline is demanding unspe...
Savage Lovecast Episode 939 29.10.2024 55:01
A poly guy lives in a rural area with his fiancé. He is building his own house, and hires laborers to come live with him while they build. One of the laborers started hooking up with the caller’s girlfriend without consulting the caller or gaining his consent. Now what? This guy is living in his own damn house, having sex with his own damn lady??? True or False: Gay men who were bullied as kids of...
Savage Lovecast Episode 938 22.10.2024 58:48
A woman has been dating a man from Ghana for 4 months. She just learned that he has a wife and kid back home, that he married out of familial/cultural obligation. Should the caller hold out to see if he chooses her over his overseas family? A married woman has a one year-old kid. She and her husband are monogamous, but she's getting into performing burlesque at local bars and it's making her want...
Savage Lovecast Episode 937 15.10.2024 54:27
A lesbian couple has been together for a couple years, and things are still hot between them. But they wonder if they should check out a sex club just to add a little spice. They are monogamous, and have no interest in contact with other women. Their friends say it's impossible to remain exclusive with each other at one of these spaces. Is that true? Would they be welcome? A man with "anxious att...
Savage Lovecast Episode 936 08.10.2024 48:55
An apology is required! But who is in the wrong here? An NB person got so, so sick with the covids. They had already made out with their boyfriend, so he was exposed. When they asked him to come over, deliver some food and offer bit of comfort, the boyfriend only agreed to drop off food outside the door. Should he have come inside and been more supportive? Or was it too much to ask to have him ris...
Savage Lovecast Episode 935 01.10.2024 51:32
A man was flirting with a woman online, but his girlfriend found out. She threw him out, and messaged all their friends and family about the incident. Police were involved. Should they get back together? Dan calls him up to get all the salacious details, and you get to listen. A man has a wonderful fiancé, and they have a child together. He loves her very, very much. The problem? He is one kinky...
Savage Lovecast Episode 934 24.09.2024 1:04:54
She slept with a lad who didn't wear a condom when he said he would, came inside her and wouldn't help pay for Plan B. The hitch? He's great in bed, and she is hard up. Should she sleep with him again, if he promises to be a good boy? A caller challenges Dan on his personal dislike of massages. "How can this possibly be?" asks the caller. Our guest this week, is the brilliant psychotherapist an...
Savage Lovecast Episode 933 17.09.2024 54:06
Oh no! He broke the flirting rules. He kissed a lady and lied about it. (He lies a lot apparently.) But now, it makes her sick to look at him. What now? A man and his boyfriend just bought a house together and they are setting up one of the rooms as a nursery...because they are both adult babies. What should they tell visitors if they ask what the locked room is for? On the Magnum, it's the triump...
Savage Lovecast Episode 932 10.09.2024 54:46
A man and his girlfriend are well-matched. Except...she doesn't like to kiss and he NEEDS to kiss to get his erotic motor running. Whatever can they do? The good doctor Barak is back... but this time he's here to share his political giving strategy for this election, where your dollar is mightier than ever. And of course Dan ambushes him with a gnarly sex question. On the Magnum, what happens wh...
Savage Lovecast Episode 931 03.09.2024 1:00:02
Git along little doggie! A gay man in academia has always been into cowboys. But he fights his brain, due to the inherently problematic nature of this fetish. Can (or should) he scrub these fantasies from his mind? A woman in Berlin would like to go to Folsom Europe. But would she be welcome? Dan chats with kink educator AJ Berlin about gay male sex party spaces, and who is (and isn't) welcome. ...
Savage Lovecast Episode 930 27.08.2024 53:59
Workplace intrigue ahoy! A gay trans man who passes completely, is out to some of his co-workers but not all. Over drinks, one of his bosses told him he was bi, but not attracted to male genitals. So was this his way of acknowledging that the caller is trans, and flirting with him? Or was it cluelessly his way of saying he *wasn't* interested? Confusing! What should the caller do? A straight man...
Savage Lovecast Episode 929 20.08.2024 52:37
A woman is starting up a new relationship. Her previous boyfriend was a dom who introduced her to kink. She loved it but found it all too contrived. How can she take the parts of Dom/sub dynamics she likes and leave the scripted parts behind? It used to take her soooooo long to come. But then she discovered suction toys, and blam! Her husband learned how to get her off orally, but then they divorc...
Savage Lovecast Episode 928 13.08.2024 52:37
A straight man was horrified to discover that he wasn't attracted to his hook-up when she took her clothes off. She extracted a confession from him, and he was honest about his sudden repulsion. Was this the right thing to do? A woman would like to help her 70 year-old mother choose and navigate dating apps. Dan calls up Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex to...
Savage Lovecast Episode 927 06.08.2024 55:29
We start the show with a simple question. Should she sleep with the gardener? Her marriage has become sexless, and though her husband swears he would be into a three-way, she wants to audition the hot gardener first. Some questions require a medical opinion. Some questions are so gnarly that only the most intrepid medical experts will suffice. There is only one man who can fill this role. And tha...
Savage Lovecast Episode 926 30.07.2024 53:37
Hear the modern tale of the single mom, who is so committed to raising a "theybie" that she won't let her best friend babysit, lest she take a peek down below while changing diapers. A woman is worried about her brother. He has been sober for a couple years after a traumatic childhood. Now he is dating a woman who just broke up with his pal, who still drinks. They are keeping their relationship u...
Savage Lovecast Episode 925 23.07.2024 54:14
A woman with the best intentions wants to secretly hire a sex worker for her depressed, newly divorced friend. Any downsides here? Speaking of divorce, Dan gives a long pep-talk to a man struggling with how to get over his. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Sara Glass, author of the fantastic memoir "Kissing Girls on Shabbat." Dr. Glass was raised in a hyper- religious Hasidic Jewish community. S...
Savage Lovecast Episode 924 16.07.2024 53:52
A man's new boyfriend had an adult circumcision, and now can't come very easily. He wants to help his boyfriend come, but doesn't want to pressure him. How can he thread the needle and start gobbling? A straight man is in a brat/dom dynamic, where his girlfriend "misbehaves" and then gets "punished" by the caller. They all love it, but now she is also seeing a different man who leaves marks on he...
Savage Lovecast Episode 923 09.07.2024 50:31
It's the "Overthinking It" episode! "I'll give you $100 if you spit in my beer." This offer was made by a random gentleman in a sushi bar to an unsuspecting lady. She declined. Would you do it? Is anything wrong here? Overthinking it? Meanwhile, a man wonders if the dubious ethics he saw in a porno plot renders said porno too problematic to enjoy. Overthinking it! On the Magnum, we're delighted...
No Show Announcement 02.07.2024 2:55
Man we're tired. So we went on vacation! No show this week, but we'll back at you on July 9.
Savage Lovecast Episode 922 25.06.2024 52:11
Her husband of ten years is interested in learning about non-monogamy. He started attending workshops about "divine femininity" and "dark masculinity." The workshop leader seems sketchy and cultish to the caller. How can she vet this potential grifter and help her husband develop a little reasonable skepticism? A woman and her husband have been in a poly relationship with another woman for 11 year...
Savage Lovecast Episode 921 18.06.2024 52:04
A straight woman wants to explore her bitchy side. She feels like all her edge got sanded away, and now she wants to try out the dom role. How can she find a man who wants a selfish, in-charge lover? Meanwhile, a straight man is frustrated that his lady won't let him go down on her. Our guest this week is Lyz Lenz, author of the NYT best-selling "This American Ex-Wife." Raised conservative Chris...
Savage Lovecast Episode 920 11.06.2024 50:11
Getting a haircut is boring! Unless. Unless your hairstylist strokes your neck, pulls your hair, talks dirty and asks if you want to fool around. A straight man was walking home at night when a drunk man hurled anti-gay insults at him. In a moment of improvised solidarity, the caller said he WAS gay. The drunk found some friends and chased the caller off. Now the caller wonders if what he did was...
Savage Lovecast Episode 919 04.06.2024 51:44
Dan takes on a couple of heavy calls this week- A woman learned that her ex-boyfriend of 8 years was convicted on child pornography charges. He will almost certainly go to prison. He was once her fiancé. Rough stuff. Then, Dan helps a woman make the heart-breaking choice between a single or a double mastectomy. Our guest this week is the sharp, hilarious comedian Jared Goldstein. He and Dan talk...
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