Dan Savage
Savage Lovecast
Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex and relationship questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage. Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.
Author
Dan Savage
Category
Podcast website
Latest episode
Jul 10, 2026
Where to listen?
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Episodes
Savage Lovecast Episode 990 21.10.2025 55:03
A woman just started a dating a man 12 years her junior. But he doesn't know her age, and has never asked her, even on her birthday. Should she tell him? A couple were approached by a man who initiated a relationship where he is their sex slave. But he is a very demanding slave, sending too many texts, and generally violating their boundaries. He pays them for their attentions. So who's the boss h...
Savage Lovecast Episode 989 14.10.2025 55:56
Compare and contrast these two body image calls: A woman's boyfriend is so insecure about his big body, that he can't get hard. She thinks he's hot as can be but can't seem to convince him of this. Meanwhile, a man finds that most of the women he meets in his open relationship dating community are too fat for him. Where can he find some skinny chicks into non-monogamy? Is there a top shortage? Not...
Savage Lovecast Episode 988 07.10.2025 56:08
A woman and her boyfriend, (in an open relationship) tried shibari and enjoyed the intimacy of it. She suggested they exclusively practice shibari with each other, unlike all the other sexual activities they do with their other lovers. At first he agreed, but now he's balking. Should she try to make this a rule of their relationship, or cut him free to t ie up other women? Can semen be safely empl...
Savage Lovecast Episode 987 30.09.2025 56:15
How can a woman safely indulge her kink when the thing that turns her on is fear? A man is convinced that his bidet use makes him pee more. Our long suffering, patient and kind medical expert, Doc Barak is back to sigh heavily and pretend to take the question seriously. Also, can we trust the CDC these days? On the Magnum, the concept is simple. A man with a beautiful British accent reads erotica...
Savage Lovecast Episode 986 23.09.2025 54:46
Enter to win a free Magnum subscription at savage.love/survey A gay man is lucky to be in a throuple relationship. But he worries that he's having too much sex, and thinking about sex so much that it's distracting him at work. Is he a sex addict? What can he do to cool his fevered libido? A strong, confident woman likes casual hook-ups. Her friends joke that she is "a boy on the inside." Her (and...
Savage Lovecast Episode 985 16.09.2025 51:31
A man in a poly triad has a girlfriend. His girlfriend has a boyfriend, and they all live together, share a dog, and plan to have kids. The caller and the other guy will be at a wedding full of normies who don't know the nature of their relationship. Should he just say they're a gay couple? Or explain the whole poly thing? He can't eat gluten. His boyfriend eats a lot of gluten. Can he eat his boy...
Savage Lovecast Episode 984 09.09.2025 56:40
A married mother did some sex work in her younger, wilder days. She's turned on by money, so it seems obvious that she should be a findom. But the typical clientele prefer a younger woman to take their money. How can she get her middle-aged kink on? Meanwhile, a gay man thinks porn is boooor-rrinnng! It's unrealistic, predictable and repetitive. Is there anything good out there? Sometimes you get...
Savage Lovecast Episode 983 02.09.2025 52:10
A man's 80 year-old father is getting scammed and extorted by a findom. Should he go to the police? Change his account numbers? See a marriage counselor? A gay man in his 20s looks very young. He worries that the men who are attracted to him may be skeezy because he looks more like a boy than a man. His friends tell him to work it. But how can he safely enjoy New York City's gay dating scene? On t...
Savage Lovecast Episode 982 26.08.2025 58:41
A woman's old friend and sometime lover asked her for a beaver shot to ease his stress on an upcoming couples trip. She obliged. Did he thank her? No he did not. She's miffed, and wonders if she's being too sensitive. We love questions like this: What do gay men actually do with vibrators? Our guest is the indomitable E. Jean Carroll. She is a journalist and the author of five books, including a b...
Savage Lovecast Episode 981 19.08.2025 53:16
A cute li'l gal worries she just isn't a very convincing dom. How can she use psychology to establish her sexy top role? A newly out pan man is ready to dive into gay culture. But he isn't quite ready to shave his pubes! Does he have to? On the Magnum, Dan chats with novelist and television writer Kashana Cauley. (Author of The Payback and The Survivalists.) They talk about the pleasure of dystopi...
Savage Lovecast Episode 980 12.08.2025 54:06
"Not generous." That is what a gay man puts on his app profile to signify that he is not interested in sex workers. Is this offensive? Hear the heart-warming tale of how a woman spiced up her sex life by creating an Onlyfans account for only one fan- her husband. A gay man loves going to "gay island." It's a small gathering space in a river where queer folks can be together in a chill, clothing-op...
Savage Lovecast Episode 979 05.08.2025 57:23
A woman is grappling with the dubious ethics of financial domination. Her friend asked her to do it, and she made a quick, easy $1k. But she knows that it is addictive and can ruin men's lives. Should she continue? A gay man is being bothered to distraction by his straight pal who teases and dominates him. They work together. Driven wild by lust, the caller worries that if he acknowledges the dyna...
Savage Lovecast Episode 978 29.07.2025 45:24
While tidying up after some Airbnb guests, a gay man discovered a vibrator left under the pillow. Should he message the couple and offer to send it back, or would that be too embarrassing? One year ago, a woman called the show about her boyfriend, and Dan advised her to break up with him. But they are still together today, and the woman wonders if she should tell her boyfriend about the episode. O...
Savage Lovecast Episode 977 22.07.2025 52:14
A woman's boyfriend wants her to drug him, have her way with him and share him with her friends. He did this before with an ex, and loved it. She's intrigued, but cautious. Should she do it? A straight man is miffed when women act like they want to meet for a second time, but then disappear. Aren't women violating the consent culture contract when they do this? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Ariel...
Savage Lovecast Episode 976 15.07.2025 53:48
The woman in a married couple that does not want children accidentally got pregnant. This happened once before, and she learned that her husband is against abortion on religious grounds. Should she tell him she will end this pregnancy, or keep it secret from him? Do accidents happen in BDSM? They sure do! Hear the harrowing tale of one man's consequential mistake. Dan brings on Australian kink edu...
Savage Lovecast Episode 975 08.07.2025 53:07
A queer woman has a non-binary, AFAB spouse. Her partner can mime the action of cunnilingus with their tongue, flicking and teasing across the dinner table, like a horny lizard. The caller wishes she could do the same, but her tongue just doesn't work that way. She also gets low marks on her oral technique, and couldn't play the clarinet very well in school. Does she just have a bad tongue? Are th...
Savage Lovecast Episode 974 01.07.2025 57:29
A woman in her late 40s is struggling to process a relationship she had when she was in college. She slept with a former professor of hers but then got rejected by him. After she moved away, she arranged a visit with him, and got rejected again. Now, over 20 years later, she's wondering if his actions were unethical or inappropriate. We've gotten some tricky parenting questions in the past, but th...
Savage Lovecast Episode 973 24.06.2025 57:34
Her boyfriend of one year is perfect in every way! Except...he is stoned literally all the time. But he's a great lover, communicates well, and truly loves the caller. So is this really a problem? Will it be eventually? A gay man was raised Mormon, and got the hell out. Now he's living his best gay life, with a boyfriend he loves. But he never had a slutty phase, and worries that the only way to t...
Savage Lovecast Episode 972 17.06.2025 52:37
We start the show with two calls concerning the "post nut" state of mind. One man hates that he becomes selfish and unresponsive so much that he chooses not to come at all. Another wonders if we should start calling it "post-nut confusion." Just in time for Pride, it's a new After-Action Report! Hear the tale of Ian- a straight man who gave a man head for the first time. What were the circumstance...
Savage Lovecast Episode 971 10.06.2025 59:19
When she was in high school, she surprised herself and delighted her boyfriend by squirting all over his face. But the incident alarmed her enough to set off a neurotic need to pee before every sexual encounter. How can she get out of her head about it, and allow for spontaneity in her current, awesome sex life? A woman is in an in a polyamorous, fantastic, committed relationship full of compersio...
Savage Lovecast Episode 970 03.06.2025 57:06
A married woman in a poly relationship is planning to visit a boyfriend who lives in a different city for a month. But since they made these plans, she started seeing yet another man. Should she tell the guy she plans to visit about the new guy? Should she do it before the trip so he can pull the rip cord if he needs to? Can you peg your dom? She is a switch, so she knows both sides of the dom/sub...
Savage Lovecast Episode 969 27.05.2025 47:41
A man in Nashville keeps having great dates, but then they reject him afterwards. Is it because he's a liberal Jew? A woman is in a new, fun, casual relationship, just like she wanted. But he will be moving away in a few months, so there's a clear end date. How can they enjoy themselves knowing the end is nigh? On the Magnum, put on your pink glasses...it's Randy Rainbow! Rainbow's political, musi...
Savage Lovecast Episode 968 20.05.2025 55:14
A man in a queer group chat saw that folks were talking about going to a bathhouse in their city for the first time. The caller explained what goes on there, how consent can be slushy, and trans men might not feel welcome. This shut down the conversation. Was he wrong to tell it like it is? A divorced woman with a 4 year old daughter is friendly with her ex-husband but not close. Her daughter is a...
Savage Lovecast Episode 967 13.05.2025 56:43
HA man briefly dated a guy who only bottoms, and collects a variety of giant dildos. The caller worries that his natural size would never satisfy a man like this, and wonders if this is just the standard psychology of power bottoms. A straight woman tends to be attracted to gay and bisexual men, though she's never dated one. She would be interested in dating a bi man, but she requires monogamy, an...
Savage Lovecast Episode 966 06.05.2025 57:37
Oh boy! A threesome might be brewing! A woman just connected with a hot guy through an app. He has another woman he sees, and the three of them plan to get together. But the caller is convinced that the other two are way more attractive than she is, and she worries she'll feel insecure and inadequate. How can she get over this stinkin' thinkin'? A woman has been in a casual friends-with-benefits r...
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