Sam's Healing Podcast

Today you'll meet Lauren LaRusso, a well known face on social media and true expert to those looking for hope, healing and new life after the discovery of infidelity.   Lauren holds a bachelor's degree in Psychology and Creative Writing from The College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, MA, and a Masters in Professional Counseling from The University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, PA.  In her year...

Healing from infidelity is no easy task.   Whether a betrayed male or female, the pain can feel as though it has no purpose, no redemption and no light at the end of the tunnel.   Today you'll meet Randall who shares his own story of not only excruciating emotional pain and hurt, but also how he and his wife have found healing, joy and redemption.  Randall pulls no punches as he shares insight int...

Today, relationship and expert therapist James Annear joins me to discuss when it's time to forgo individual or couples work and proceed right ahead to an intensive.  If you're on my page, you know the disclosure of infidelity is a devastating moment in any relationship. Whether the betrayal was emotional, physical, or both, it strikes at the core of trust and safety between partners. While many c...

Continuing the series on "Psychological Games Couples Play," Michael Webb and I discuss another game within the realm of Psychological Games called If It Weren't for You.   Ever find yourself in the same frustrating argument with someone, especially your spouse— even though it starts off innocent and you swear this time it'll go differently? But somehow, it spirals into a familiar mess? That's not...

Meet Adam Nisenson, known as the Betrayal Shrink. Adam combines his extensive clinical skills with a deeply empathetic heart in his role as a Betrayal Trauma Coach. Licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Adam is dedicated to guiding men through the complex emotions and challenges of betrayal trauma.  He's also the author of A Man's Guide to Partner Betra...

Today you'll meet a friend of mine, Kevin who shares his own journey with infidelity as a betrayed male and Autism. Autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how a person perceives the world and interacts with others. It's called a "spectrum" because it includes a wide range of characteristics and levels of support needs, from mild to significant. Ke...

Today John Lee joins me to discuss how enmeshment shows up in the life of the unfaithful partner as they wrestle to find freedom from shame and emotional immaturity.  You'll find John's humor and straight forward nature to not only be a breath of fresh air, but validating for the betrayed partner and liberating for the unfaithful.  We roam free today discussing how safety is an inside job for both...

Enmeshment is a term from psychology that describes a relationship dynamic where personal boundaries are overly blurred, and people become emotionally over-involved with each other. It often happens in families or close relationships, where one person's emotions, needs, or identity are heavily entangled with another's, to the point that individual autonomy is lost. For example, a parent might rely...

How do you reclaim your worth when your reflection is distorted by someone else's betrayal—when every glance in the mirror whispers, 'they chose them over me".... or "they gave them what they wouldn't give me?"   The cruelest part of infidelity isn't just the betrayal—it's the quiet, relentless comparison that follows.   Today you'll hear from frequent guest Max and how he was able to break free f...

Ever find yourself in the same frustrating argument with someone, especially your spouse— even though it starts off innocent and you swear this time it'll go differently? But somehow, it spirals into a familiar mess? That's not just bad luck. You might be stuck in a psychological game. Psychological games are repetitive patterns of hidden communication people play with each other, often unconsciou...

What do you do when you don't have control over your spouse's behavior? What do you do when they won't forgive you, if you're an unfaithful? What do you do when your unfaithful won't do recovery work or won't go all in when you're a betrayed? What do you do when you or your partner associate pain with vulnerability or intimacy due to childhood or developmental trauma? We call this feeling powerles...

Today Max and I discuss a poignant moment in his own compelling journey where he admits "I didn't want to believe this was happening to me." As you'll hear in today's raw and personal discussion, infidelity and denial are deeply intertwined issues that can have a profound impact on the betrayed spouse. Whether male or female, infidelity strikes at the core of our being, creating a staggering feeli...

Today you'll meet Jonathan, a friend of mine and survivor of both infidelity and stage four cancer. Yes, he's a victim of infidelity as a betrayed male, but he's also a warrior which is what any betrayed partner is who decides to keep on living after such devastating pain. Betrayal can hit particularly hard for men due to several deep-rooted psychological, cultural, and emotional factors. Betrayal...

The topic of CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and infidelity is important because infidelity can trigger complex trauma responses, especially for individuals who have a history of unresolved trauma or are vulnerable to the effects of betrayal. The intersection of these two can cause profound emotional and psychological damage, making it crucial to understand how infidelity can exacer...

Today you'll meet Paige, a betrayed spouse who is both courageous, vibrant and resilient. Months ago on Samuel's Instagram there were several poems that were written that were moving, powerful and gut wrenching all at the same time. Paige was in fact the author of those poems and has agreed to share some of her story with the audience. While some marriages don't make it, Paige's marriage is thrivi...

How does the betrayed deal with comparisons to the affair partner(s)? This issue remains one of the most difficult, overwhelming and traumatizing aspects of infidelity. Why wasn't I enough? Why wasn't I enough for them to stay committed to the marriage? What was lacking in me or in our relationship that would lead them to go outside the marriage or relationship? Today Max and I discuss how he's be...

A soon to be regular contributor to the podcast, Max returns to discuss the shame of the betrayed male. While not entirely different than the betrayed female, Max goes to great length to describe his own shame and trauma associated with his wife's multiple affairs. From isolation to loneliness, to embarrassment and outright despair, Max takes us down a journey of just how hard it was to find his f...

Today you'll meet a great friend of mine by the name of Max. He's an author of two books, an editor, a guitar player, a gracious speaker and unfortunately a betrayed male spouse. Today you'll hear some of his story and more importantly, all of his heart. I've said this in videos, written blogs and interviews over close to 20 years that the journey of the betrayed male spouse is different. It's nua...

Do people really heal from infidelity? Do people ever really get their lives back after being betrayed? What does it mean to actually be a survivor of infidelity and betrayal? Today you'll meet the epitome of not only someone who has healed from infidelity but has returned from the depths of pain and agony to light the way for others to heal. Dr. Debi Silber PhD has become a household name for sur...

What is a trauma bond? Are you or someone you know lost in one? Is it just an infidelity issue or can you be trauma-bonded to someone who hasn't cheated on you? Today on the podcast I speak with regular contributor, Amanda Asproni and discuss these types of bonds, how addicting they are, and how to find freedom and healing from such a bond. We often wonder, "Why can't I break free of him or her?"...

Are you or your partner anxious when it comes to an attachment style?  What is the anxious attachment style you might ask?  An anxious attachment style is a type of insecure attachment that causes people to feel a deep need for validation and reassurance from others often preventing that individual from living a secure life relationally. People with an anxious attachment style may: Fear rejection...

As a betrayed partner, have you ever wondered why your spouse or partner is so avoidant with you? Maybe you're an unfaithful and wonder why you have such significant trouble communicating your emotions, needs and overall feelings? Today on the podcast, trauma expert Amanda Asproni and I discuss two of the most complex attachment styles: the dismissive avoidant and the fearful avoidant and how they...

If you're an unfaithful spouse, let me ask you a question that will define your recovery work: Are You Living Above Suspicion? If not, why? How can we expect the betrayed partner to trust us, lean into us, move towards us or even give us their heart again if we're not committed to living above suspicion? If you're a betrayed, is your partner committed to living above suspicion? Or, do you feel lik...

Today on the podcast I discuss Infidelity, Betrayal Trauma and Self-Compassion with frequent guest clinician and trauma expert Michael Webb. For decades it's been known that shameful people do shameful things and commit heinously shameful acts. But how do we heal the shame while also owning our behavior and destructive choices as unfaithful spouses? How do we show remorse and empathy to our betray...

Are you an avoidant? Are you married to one? If you're married to an avoidant, you're probably frustrated as all get out with them, unless you too are an avoidant? If you're an avoidant you might be wondering what all the fuss is about and why is everyone making such a big deal about it? So what, you avoid conflict and shy away from confrontation and intimacy, what's the issue? Well, today I've in...