Roleplay Retcon

Red One is the first movie we've remade while the original is still in theaters, but its wasted Metal Gear Solid meets Santa premise and $100 million loss at the box office begged us to do it ASAP. We're remaking it with The Fight Before Christmas, a hack of Lasers and Feelings that has players creating operatives with a vendetta against Santa. Saint Nick has gone on a rampage, destroying every to...

Burt Reynolds proclaims himself the prison team's coach with some pushback, but not enough to matter. The boys make trips to the basketball court, the library, and the labor yard to recruit more players to the team. Portman takes the rule of threes too far. Bocepherous finds someone with a weirder name than his. Cornflake cannot make sense of this. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence, bl...

The boys split up to begin building the team. Cornflake finds some art supplies. Bocepherous gets a dose of reality. Portman has a memorable meal. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Damn Dogs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Play Ball! by Roe Caufield! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Patreon has bon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us content⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Former NFL quarterback and maple syrup kingpin Portman Tow, Mama's boy Bocepherous Nut, and professional grifter Cornflake Cogburn all find themselves in the wrong seat of a squad car. At their new prison home, Warden Sanders promises a reduced sentence for Portman if he puts together a football team of prisoners to give his guards' team something to practice tackling. But not everyone wants Portm...

Rookie Camp episodes are our cute name for "episode zero" where we introduce the game we're playing (Play Ball! by Roe Caufield) and our first-ever guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday. And the name is finally apt because we're remaking the 2005 Adam Sandler remake of The Longest Yard, which had a poor critical reception, but that didn't stop millions of people from being bamboozled by San...

Before we get started with our remake of a remake of The Longest Yard, get to know our first-ever guest GM: Grant Nordine, the co-creator, co-host, and often titular game master of the podcast Game Master Monday. Each episode of Game Master Monday is standalone and has a new game and a new cast, and Roleplay Retcon has been on the show more than once! Don't worry, this won't affect our release sch...

In the back half of our remake of Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, Superman doesn't let his humiliation at the hands of Nuclear Man stop him from dismantling the world's nukes. Will Nuclear man retaliate, or will he be distracted by Lois Lane? I guess the answer seems obvious, but the date gets pretty hot. Content Warnings: War, nuclear weapons, mild violence, profanity Starring Jeff Stormer! Sou...

Jeff Stormer, Superman superfan and the host of Party of One, made a bespoke game specifically for remaking Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, the final Christopher Reeve Superman movie that put Supes in Hollywood timeout for 20 years. Content Warnings: War, nuclear weapons, mild violence, profanity Starring Jeff Stormer! Soundtrack by Phillip Mount⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! The game we're playing was built using...

An American Werewolf in London (1981) is one of the all-time great horror comedies. And then 16 years later somebody decided to make a spiritual sequel, An American Werewolf in Paris, and inject it with all of the worst tropes of the '90s. We remake the latter with Craig Campbell's Die Laughing, a GM-less TTRPG about making comedy horror movies! We can't promise it's a cohesive story, but we can p...

Time is as it should be and the League heads off on their next adventure. We're gonna stay here and talk about this one, though. Did we improve on the original movie? Find out what we think in this episode! Featuring Ryan and Laurel from ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Flash Fantasy: Rift Walkers⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by composer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Robert Russell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Savage Worlds Adventure Edition!⁠...

The League and Carmen Sandiego have their final showdown. Not everyone will survive. Holtzmann does what she does best. Marty lifts a gag order. Laszlo puts on the rizz. Dom steals half a truck. Content Warnings: Death, violence, Nazis, blood, profanity, sexual content Featuring Ryan and Laurel from ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Flash Fantasy: Rift Walkers⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by composer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Robert Russell⁠⁠⁠⁠...

The League hatches a plan to track down and stop Carmen Sandiego and finally use those time circuits on the Rogue One. Dom gets aided and banded. Marty is not a sniper. Holtzmann is a girl's girl. Laszlo dons the greatest disguise of all time. Content Warnings: Death, body horror, Nazis, blood, profanity, sexual content Featuring Ryan and Laurel from ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Flash Fantasy: Rift Walkers⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!...

Borat's ferocious bear may be the end of Dom. Holtzmann's driving may be the end of everyone else. Marty wants to put a pin in this self-reflective moment. Laszlo sees someone he knows. Content Warnings: Profanity, death, violence, gore, blood, sexual innuendo, violence against animals Featuring Ryan and Laurel from ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Flash Fantasy: Rift Walkers⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by composer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Robert Rus...

The Cohen Coercion attacks! Dom finally gets behind the wheel as the rest of the League fights off four vehicles with very similar-looking drivers. Holtzmann upgrades her seat. Marty downgrades a tire. Dom snubs someone. Laszlo does some necking. Content Warnings: Profanity, death, violence, gore, blood, sexual innuendo, violence against animals • Featuring Ryan and Laurel from ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Flash Fantasy:...

Time pulls a fast one on the League and they find themselves in a very different Chicago with all-new League leadership. To find Dr. Brown and his time locomotive, they'll have to build their own time machine and track down his kidnappers. Marty invites Laszlo to the jamboree. Holtzmann gets her dream car (almost). Dom is a citizen of the world. Content Warnings: Profanity, death, blood, implied v...

The League is accosted by Griff Tannen and his gang, transplants from an alternate 2015 where Marty crossed paths with them. Beating them may give the League a clue to who is responsible for Doc Brown's disappearance... Holtzmann expands her business, Marty's got a gun, Dom isn't hurt, and Laszlo eats some empty calories. Content Warnings: Profanity, guns, violence, gore, death Featuring Ryan and...

The new League learns of their mission to save the fabric of time from tearing itself apart. But first, they'll need to travel to Chicago to gain magical protection from the ravages of time. Laszlo hateflirts. Dom calls in a favor. Jillian shakes it out. Marty remembers the future. Content Warnings: Profanity, sexual content Featuring Ryan and Laurel from ⁠⁠Flash Fantasy: Rift Walkers⁠⁠! Soundtrac...

Across Time and Space, four Extraordinary people are recruited by a mysterious organization for reasons unknown: Legendary wheelman Dominic Toretto, genius paranormal engineer Jillian Holtzmann, actual vampire Laszlo Cravensworth, and time traveler Marty McFly, who will find 2015 is not at all as he remembers... Content Warnings: Profanity, sexual content Featuring Ryan and Laurel from ⁠Flash Fant...

Ryan and Laurel from Flash Fantasy, makers of banger Actual Play Podcasts Rift Walkers and Star Wars: Skeleton Crew, join us to remake Sean Connery's out-with-a-whisper career-ender The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003). By default, we always twist on the original movie's formulas, but this time it's a T-W-I-S-T. We'll introduce our bonkers character pulls and learn a bit about Savage World...

Before we get started with our wild twist on The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, get acquainted with our two guest stars: Laurel Myler and DM Ryan of Flash Fantasy! This is episode 1 of a one-shot set in Flash Fantasy's Rift Walkers universe. If you like this (and you will) head back to episode 0 of Rift Walkers, and then check out their Star Wars Actual Play, Skeleton Crew (named well before t...

We remake the infamously expensive Waterworld (1995) with Second City and iO-trained comedian, author, and podcaster James D'Amato and his game Oh Captain, My Captain!, based on Alex Roberts's For the Queen. Is Waterworld better as a jukebox musical that weaves the tale of the movie's beer and podcasting-obssessed villain, The Deacon, and the drama onboard his ship? You can decide for yourself, bu...

Grant Howitt, the creator of Honey Heist and over 100 other TTRPGs, joins us as we try to keep our remake of Disney's Home on the Range G-rated and put some witch stuff in with Grant's game The Witch is Dead. The latter goes pretty well. Content warnings: Violence, death, profanity, spiders Grant's company, Rowan, Rook and Deckard, is the place to get The Witch is Dead and learn about their upcomi...

Let's wind down and talk about the good and the bad of The Adventures of Pluto Nash, both the original movie and our version. We also cast our characters and reveal our next movie remakes! Featuring Kendrick Smith of ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tales Yet Told⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠No More Kings⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Moonpunk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ by Wannabe Games! Sound effects by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠freesound.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Leroy struggles to save the refugees from the Dark Side after crash-landing their getaway ship. Meanwhile, Pluto and Tracy make a plan to hijack the Corpos' concert and expose their conspiracy against Graceland. Content warnings: Violence, profanity Featuring Kendrick Smith of ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tales Yet Told⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠No More Kings⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Moonpunk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ by Wannabe Games! Sound...

Ben and Jensie play It Takes This Long, a Roleplay Retcon original TTRPG, to remake the 1998 Harrison Ford/Anne Heche desert island adventure Six Days, Seven Nights. While not a horrible film, it was on the meh side and would be much better as the tale of estranged cousins/teleporter scientists who find themselves battling pirates after an unfortunate teleporter accident. You can back It Takes Thi...