Rock-n-Roll Autopsy

The boys trade nerd-rock respectability for hard rock riffage, ponder the finer points of Santa Monica sex work, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Weezer’s 2001 radio-rock curveball, “Hash Pipe.”

The boys kneel at the altar of pop superstardom, examine the fine line between divine inspiration and manufactured controversy, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on Madonna’s gospel-infused hit, “Like a Prayer.”

The boys gather around the shallow end of the gene pool, question humanity’s obsession with being hot, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on Marilyn Manson’s anthem for adolescent misanthropy, “The Beautiful People.”

The boys pressure themselves to cram as many egos in one room as possible, unsuccessfully blend a space oddity with mercurial Mercury, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on one of rock’s most iconic collaborations, “Under Pressure.”

The boys celebrate American excess with maximum cheese, turn flag-waving bravado into four minutes of post-Van Halen freedom, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of David Lee Roth’s 1986 star-spangled solo spectacle, “Yankee Rose.”

The boys exit the 80s with mid-career anxiety, chase relevancy with hit making royalty, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of KISS’ 1989 tale of questionable romantic decision-making, “Hide Your Heart.”

The boys hang up the lab coats, put down the scalpels, and trade scientific inquiry for a Rush road trip, abandoned White Castle cravings, and a 50 Something tour for two fifty somethings in Detroit.

The boys (minus one) hang up the lab coats, put down the scalpels, and welcome back YouTube veteran and newly prolific author, Tim Durling into the lab to discuss his latest book, On Record: The April Wine Album Review.

The boys (minus one) hang up the lab coats, put down the scalpels, and trade scientific inquiry for dogged determination, stage-ready self-immolation, and the pursuit of authentic artistic expression with Kissing Lilith frontman Gavin Kerr.

The boys (minus one) hang up the lab coats, put down the scalpels, and trade scientific inquiry for DIY determination, keytar struggles, and the divisive challenges of male itch relief with Toby Danger frontman Ryan Wednesday.

The boys (minus one) hang up the lab coats, put down the scalpels, and trade scientific inquiry for stand-up stories, metal nerdery, Megadeth fandom, and panel condescension with comedian and Disturbing the Priest host, Brandon Battick.

The boys (minus one) trade scientific inquiry for personal confession, revisiting first-time, day-one album buys — records that just happened to catch their favorite bands at some of their strangest moments.

The boys pomade their pompadours, confuse rockabilly nostalgia with spectacularly bad judgment, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Stray Cats’ 1983 retro-revival misfire, “(She’s) Sexy + 17.”

The boys spin street poetry about L.A. debauchery, demonstrate an appetite for questionable studio decisions, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Guns N’ Roses’ 1987 sleaze-rock odyssey, “Rocket Queen.”

The boys fall into the abyss of midlife mayhem, trade dutiful obedience for white collar rage, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Iron Maiden’s 1995 soundtrack to personal collapse, “Man on the Edge.”

The boys spend a Saturday in detention, romanticize adolescent alienation through the power of a raised fist, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Simple Minds’ 1985 coming-of-age anthem, “Don’t You (Forget About Me).”

The boys (minus one) make a major show announcement and celebrate the Fourth of July by embracing singular vision, authoritarian tendencies, and a fistful of bands that exemplify anti-democratic rock ‘n’ roll.

The boys hang up the lab coats, put down the scalpels, reconnect long-lost tour mates, gush over Rush, and marvel at Gene Simmons’ latest entrepreneurial adventure.

The boys (minus one) hang up the lab coats, put down the scalpels, and take an unscientific look at Geezer Butler’s battle with depression through the dark poetry of Black Sabbath.

The boys regress to a state of peak late-’90s arrested development, mistake hormonal compulsion for profound artistic expression, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Korn’s 1997 acronym-powered ode to intrusive thoughts, “A.D.I.D.A.S.” News items and digressions include Loudwire’s list of the top five politically charged thrash metal songs.

Without the guardrails of science to fall back on, the boys trade evidence-based analysis for deliberately provocative, sensational, and often ridiculous hot takes about the world of rock ‘n roll.

The boys pick favorites, compare notes, and pluck away at Rolling Stone’s latest clickbait driven analysis of the 100 Greatest Guitar Solos of All Time.

The boys pick favorites, compare notes, and pluck away at Rolling Stone’s latest clickbait driven analysis of the 100 Greatest Guitar Solos of All Time.

The boys trash hotel rooms with self-aware charm, canonize burnout excess as aspirational living, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Joe Walsh’s 1978 millionaire-rock confession, “Life’s Been Good.” News items and digressions include Geddy Lee hiring a vocal coach ahead of Rush’s upcoming tour and Midnight celebrating 15 years of Satanic Royalty.

The boys descend into caveman horniness, celebrate primal riffage with alarming enthusiasm, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Ted Nugent’s 1980 Neanderthal party anthem, “Wango Tango.” News items and digressions include Marilyn Manson opening up onstage about his sobriety journey.