Roast Mortem Cast

Gabby joins in and assists in the roast of Joan Crawford. She was a Pepsi-loving, coat hanger-hating, wide-shoulder'd Hollywood Icon. Promiscuous and manipulative- she made shock waves on the silver screen. But she would unwind after a long day by pummeling her children.

Cullen from Cauldron Podcast joins us for a Master Series, as we look at the "The Good, The Bad and the Limp Dick War Criminal" of WWII. Featuring an American Nazi-killing, wife beating machine, a confused Asian, and German 'not-so-super soldier' deplorable SS officer.

You know that guy Socrates? Well bits of Alcibiades poop was definitely in his urethra. This androgynist Athenian demagogue boned his way through the ancient Greek world. From hometown Athens, his bisexual love rod sext all the way to Persia and back leaving political destruction and death in it's shadow.

When you think of the world's most dangerous person, who do you think of? Genghis Khan? Stalin? Hitler?! Try a gas-huffing, pseudo-chemist that gave an entire generation lead poisoning and singlehandedly melted a hole in the atmosphere. Midgley created a ecological Frankenstein's monster, but did his smooth-brained science cause his undoing?

Not Mr. Spock. Dr. Spock! This baby doctor looked to the sexual teachings of Sigmund Freud and came out with a revolutionary way to raise children in post-war America. The results... Lead paint-eating, self-absord, sociopath we now call the Baby Boomers.

Farouk was the last King of Egypt. He ascended to the thrown uneducated and unprepared. Farouk spent his time partying, shopping, and stealing. Farouk's lifestyle would ruin his kingly reign and royal waistline.

Would you suck Jesus' dick? Agnes Blannbekin would! This 13th century anchoress believed she was licking JC's foreskin when she took the eucharist. We explore the absurd journey through the millennia of Christ's penis hood and look into the mind of a cock hungry religious fanatic.

It's that time of year again! The 2020 RMC Countdown! Matt from NFHC podcast joins us as we plow through the ages, marathon roasting idiots who died on the 20th year of their century! Exhaustion and inebriation be damned!

Regarded as a feminist icon, morphine addict Mary Baker Eddy created a religion based on the power of suggestion. He cult followers protected her from spiritual assassins and MIND BULLETS! Maybe the next time you have a compound facture, just pray it away!

Garbage Andy throws some shrimp on the barbie and joins us in the Outback: The land of criminals, Mad Max, Steve Irwins and the majestic Bin Chicken. The character and spirit of this upside-down country is most embodied in the spirit of Ned Kelly. Ned lived fast and died young as a very distinctively Australian Robin Hood. Most of his mishaps involved accidental homoerotic scraps, nonchalant armed...

From a dirty little street kid to the world's most handsome man, Cary Grant was Hollywood's ultimate handsome boy. Gotta be honest here, Tom gets pretty fanboy over this hunk of man meat on stilts... Not sure who gets roasted more, Tom or Cary?!

Part 3 of RMC's coverage of George Washington. America is free of British Tyranny. But wait!!!! Here comes King Washington! Washington believed in American nobility, feudalism , despotic taxes and behind his outward stoicism was a megalomania hell bent on the perception of his legacy. While touting to be bipartisan, GW became the puppet of federalist Alexander Hamilton, who's policies nearly smoth...

In part 2, we dive dick first into the American Revolution. Our boy GW lost more battles than he won!! After begrudgingly taking command of the Continental Army, Washington repeatedly gets his ass mashed by the British all while dreaming about returning to his slave-run Mt. Vernon. We also finally get to the bottom of GW's no-so-pearly whites. Spoilers! They were not wood! The truth is something s...

Part 1 of America's Thicc thighed founding father, George Washington. From the second GW was born, he pretty much failed at everything. In this episode, we cover Lil' George clawing his way up the Virginia social ladder, his 'fortunate' entry into military life, and how he started a world war thanks to his under stupidity.

This French 'philosopher' was so into his whips and chains he inspired the word Sadism . But while modern BDSM is a consensual activity, this noble narcosis to it far beyond anyone's comfort zone. Written in while locked away in the Bastille, '120 Days of Sodom' would be come history's most blacklisted book. It's pages full of the grotesque machinations of incest, scatology, torture, rape and murd...

When he wasn't nearly blowing off his hand with explosives he was blowing loads in satanic rituals with Alcester Crowley. This genius of jet propulsion and forefather of NASA was blacklisted for his dubious practice of sex black magik.

Ella Watson aka Cattle Kate was a rough and tumble Wyoming cattle wrangler that braved the frontier and grappled with corrupt lawmen over land and cattle disputes.

Percy Grainger was the Willy Wonka of music. He tinkered, experimented, and invented throughout his musical career that spanned his life. Skeletons in his closet include, self-flagellation, racism, and army oboe tooter. And the root cause of all this is his helicopter mother!

Once a dashing example of chivalric manhood, years of head trauma from jousting led Henry to devolve into a mad king with a soft boner and a pension for beheading, burning on the stake and hanging anyone that opposed him. That included two unlucky Queens that just couldn't stomach the King's cummies.

Matt from the NFHC podcast joins us as we take shots at Benedict Arnold. Benny sold out American forces during the Revolutionary War. With a hard on for protocol and rules, Benny was traitorous rat that screwed over baby America.

William Chester Minor was classically deranged monomaniac who was handy with words, handguns, and surgical instruments. He also majorly contributed to The Oxford English Dictionary, standardizing the proverbial urchin-molasses-fire that is the English language.

Soapy Smith was the Wild West's freshest con-artist. With a soap kinder egg in one hand, some rigged walnuts in the other and a deck of cards rolled into his foreskin he swindled his way from Texas to Colorado to the Klondike.

REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!! This grizzled frontiersman embodied the American spirit of Freedom... Which is freedom for a select few... primarily white anglo-protestants... definitely not woman, native Americans or blacks... So I guess he wasn't into freedom at all... BUT he definitely had raccoon orgies in the woods. REMEMBER!!!

Taste the Rockies and sit on the silver bullet, cause we are roasting the German-American Coors Dynasty. From its humble beginning in Golden, CO, Coors ballooned into one of the biggest breweries in the USA. Despite the fact that the long line of Coors were raging paranoid morons, that used wiretaps to spy on their employees, formed the biggest conservative think-tank in D.C and demoralized everyo...

400 lb Arthur Orton was a man that lived triple lives... pun intended. Was he cockney seaman Arthur Orton? Or maybe Austrailian, stinky butcher Thomas Castro? Or conveniently lost at sea English Aristocrat Barronett Rodger Tichborne? The secret to his true identity lay untouched, hidden away for decades between his THICC thighs.