Retrograde Amnesia: Comprehensive JRPG Retrospective

I dislike myself intensely when I am fighting. As we experience classic RP Games, we're being infiltrated by a spy, realizing it's not just a drill, rejecting breakfast and surrender, failing an execution, contriving subterfuge, applying a ruse, invading a castle, resting on a guy, busting our boys out of jail, auto-joining man servants, calling upon the city states of Jowston, forcing Kasim into...

We've had a rough time getting here, and we're taking this stuff. Before that caper, we're romanticizing a studio apartment, wondering if sleeping poison is really poison, foreshadowing the third ingredient, locating the final blacksmith, shattering sentient crystals, obtaining moonlight weed, sorting through another Ted dilemma, fading from existence, picking a big flower, encountering a sober em...

In this special episode, we sit down and chat with Aidan Moher on his upcoming book, Fight, Magic, Items: The History of  Final Fantasy ,  Dragon Quest , and the Rise of Japanese RPGs in the West.  We talk about the writing process, the history of the JRPG genre, and the pioneers and innovators who created the games we love. For more on the book, go to www.fightmagicitems.rocks and follow Aidan on...

Wishy washy, aren't we? As our glorious island fortress levels up for the final time, we're moving Kimberly in with Tai-Ho, pondering the beef between Mathiu and Leon, explaining Plate Armor, befriending a centenarian cultist, lucking out with Clive's spawn, suffering a denial of service at the Dragon's Den, paying for a dine & dash, sneaking into a cave, discovering the secret of sleeping dragons...

What's wrong? Is there something on my face? After the talking sword sends us to the past, we're meeting Ted in boy form, damning the damned, charing a village, encountering the enigmatic Yuber, cursing Ted with a sorrowful fate, accepting the Star Dragon Sword, recruiting a librarian, reading Old Books in front of a simulated live audience, impressing recruits with our recruits, installing Window...

We've killed our father. In our slightly-related quest to united rebel factions, we're tripping over fresh graves, investing in a murderer and executioner, dismissing a bloodsucking vampire lord as a rumor, hearing the word NECLORD, finally recruiting Marco, stacking blacksmiths, faking out a lore flashback, testing exactly one gender norm, losing a fight to a vampire, failing to express warrior-s...

Our father is a loser but we're still not winners. Before the rematch, we're wondering how many spears are on fire, entering a town that's a dungeon, finding trust in eyes, stopping the thieving dipshit network from harassing a tall lady, paying a freelance ninja, required boats for land transport, shaking Kun To down for those boats, burning down armored cavalry, battling father against son, deny...

You must not die here, don't waste the life Gremio gave you. As we determine the logistics of the Soul Eater, we're receiving intel from Kasumi Ninja, mulling over the ethics of fighting our fathers, falling fast to armored cavalry, letting Pahn take one for the team, beating up our buddy's dad, hearing there are 27 True Runes, napping some inspiration, dredging up the Fire Spear idea, recruiting...

I'm prepared to die and I won't miss this world. While we try to beat the rapids, we're escalating neighborly beef, kickstarting the industrial revolution, hauling an engine across town, confessing our lack of purpose to raise our death flag, visiting a hermitage, throwing an isolationist in prison, recruiting a secret illiterate, forcing Flik to fill Kimbery's cup, using Bugs Bunny tactics on a s...

All I'm interested in are boats. Before we brave the rapids, we're squaring off against some jabronis at Garan, murdering 3000 soliders with the Lepant family, refusing a recon mission, inhaling poisonous pollen, foreshadowing Gremio's doom, wondering if pharmacists were invented yet, locating a guy who can appraise anything, denying imperialist town reclassification, accessing the Blinking Mirror...

We found our way here, to this mystery. As we pivot from military recruitment to cult assembly, we're playing Mark's voicemail, wondering if we've slaughtered Kuromimi's family members, separating choice from destiny, adding a bunch of elfes (elves), paying off a food debt, leaving children unattended in perpetuity, jumping ahead three months, butting heads with Flik, allowing the silent to speak,...

God? There is no god in these modern times. As we seek to shatter the Burning Mirror, we're discovering Kage is working both side's case, stealing a root to prove our worthiness, getting beat up because we're poor, solving an incredulous phone number puzzle, slaying Gigantis, commissioning a Firewind Cannon, delaying a proposal for dramatic effect, finally obtaining a map, idiotically submitting t...

Ho ho, you smell like humans. After we roll this wet elf out of our bed, we're recruiting more children into the army, throwing dice for another degenerate, sacrificing morals for money, slaughtering Christmas trees, recruiting a teleporting amnesiac, meeting a talking dog, receiving racism, counting chicken hearts, getting locked up, busting out of jail, fondly recalling abandoned twitter handles...

Want to take a bath? You'll feel refreshed. While we refuse to discuss our trauma, we're escaping Lepant's fun house, stealing a named sword, refusing to get poisoned again, donning a skin cloak, threatening a man's wife, taking a man's life, dividing our will to kill, making a family fighting team, letting a cop in the squad, throwing a dinner party, dealing with a ninja assassin, storing our pre...

A liberating invention needs a liberated world. On the New Liberation Army's Founding Day, we're receiving a non-electronic tablet to coordinate destiny, starting a cult, being watched in our sleep, seeing stars, sleeping in the dirt chamber, uniting our recruitment efforts, installing an elevator in the castle, putting indie stores out of business, employing those we've made unemployable, halluci...

This is the fixed version, we hope! Here we go then, too late for regrets. And too early for lining up great walls, declaring false identities, seizing the moment to fake a temper tantrum, blaming fate for problems, finding skilled professionals with no obvious means of employment, making Mathiu an offer he can refuse, confusing doctor with sensei, murdering soldiers in front of children, giving k...

In any case, we have to go up. Let's go. While there we're investing in dad lore, finding Child Ted on the battlefield, plucking facts off The Cutting Room Floor, hiking up a snowy mountain, trusting a man with a bowl cut, remaining ignorant of bitter, drinking a beverage that is clearly poisoned, expressing discontent and doing something about it, poking around an isolated community, bonding with...

Everything's okay, make sure to hide your faces. Before we dry out, we're trusting the scoundrel Viktor with our lives, dining and dashing, shifting rows for better attack, sharpening weapons, attaching runes, daydreaming about murdering imperials, finding Odessa behind a clock, reaching the Time To Sewers, meeting our rebel conspirators, realizing we narc'd on comrades, censroing crucifixion, per...

Loneliness is a slow acting, but fatal, poison. Before we ingest the antidote we're taking a dragon to see a play, becoming tax collectors, watering the seeds of class warfare, cheating Marco out of a million bits, reading epitaphs, refusing to strike children, bullshitting a bullshitter, trapping the feds in ant holes, installing stairs in a mountain, fighting the unbeatable ant queen, performing...

Both magic sisters think I'm hot. While we admire ourselves in the floor, we're losing our father to a border crisis, reporting to a Krazy boss, hiring a magician who looks like my wife, auto-walking home, playing a real guitar, defining a Gremio, rifling through Milich's clothing, questioning the reality of Ted, keeping a food journal, dreaming in black and white, leaping in the elephant dragon's...

In the first episode of our fourth season, we're talking when where and how Suikoden first released, basic pronunciation guidelines, how the hell to play Suikoden in 2022, finding inspiration in anime soccer, identifying hot sound smiths, reading a german magazine ad, digging up and then settling old scores, indulging in the instructions, watching the intro movie, and deciding what to name Tir McD...

The only Squall permitted here is you. As we sort through computer generated cut scenes, we're trying to remember the power of friendship, completing the time loop, accepting sorceress power, talking to myself, wandering through the desert, collapsing in futility, finding our soulmate in the abyss, becoming a no winged angel, speaking without a voice, blowing feathers around, holding up wedding ri...

Face my wrath for seeking thy sealed power. As we kompress time, we're multiplying save points and sorceresses, stepping over dead SeeDs on the beach, fastening wings to a castle, sealing our powers away, evaporating a rainbow, deducing latin paintings, weighing everyone in our party, turning blood green, slaying a fallen GF, meeting up with Xu and the CC Club, obtaining Proof of Omega, listening...

I have a lot to tell you, unless you don't want to hear it. In which case I'll understand. After we put a bullet in the head of Triple Triad, we're identifying the father of the son, ramming Lunatic Pandora, parking our dragon at the base, quitting our jobs to go drink, telling my boy we're not a posse, killing the unkillable friend, wandering away to get kidnapped, swapping in disc four, junction...

Man, you look way too serious. As the world ends, we're reaching max level, reading Selphie's Laguna webpage, breaking down the couch cars, meeting the President, being called a faerie, performing calisthenics at critical plot points, staying on a boat for ten years, flashing back to Laguna's rebellion, outwitting a sorceress, sending our problems to space, working too much to visit my dead wife,...