Retrograde Amnesia: Comprehensive JRPG Retrospective

This game is full of idiots and they're all on our team. Tonight we're dividing into two teams, referring to our father as That Man, brandishing the Odine Bangle, screaming down Rinoa, evading lockdown, solo confronting Edea, bearing witness to a fascist oration, solving a Resident Evil puzzle, watching a parade, walking on a dead guy's face, saving the princess, enduring loneliness and isolation,...

Galbadia is a nation of fools. While there, we're angrily boarding a train, being a major creep, inducing sniper drama, accepting a test of courage, meandering about Deling City, avoiding public transit,  navigating a tomb maze, beating up Brothers, meeting an incidental ghost buddy, reporting student 190, waiting in the cricket night, switching fascist regalia, observing vertical time, and discus...

Avoid the trauma of past tense. Today we're absorbing the grandeur of Galbadia Garden, showcasing ostentatious wealth, doing pervert pushups, learning of a surprise execution, psychologically terrorizing Rinoa, searching for an unforgivable villain, fearing grammatical solutions, performing a villain swipe, pouting like a child, collecting a cowboy sniper, and anticipating monster hockey. It seems...

Evaporating into bats is a great touch for any guy. This time we're idly panicking in the woods, passing out into the dreamworld, awkwardly fumbling metaphors, slaughtering Esthar soldiers, cramping up, observing the crystal blue, losing an old key, setting a dumbass trap, pushing boulders, detonating bombs, stating our limits, throwing my buddies off a cliff, and killing monsters. Nothing cheaper...

As long as you don't get your hopes up, you can take anything. Today we're staying irrationally focused on Seifer, laughing inappropriately, telling the cops I got kids, improvising a new plan, finding friends in disguise, diffusing tension on a train, shifting light on the world map, abolishing the random rule, observing a sex car, owing a guy money, painting a bone on a painting, playing cards i...

We're not the fools, you are. This time we're buying pet supplies, killing soldiers in public streets, realizing everybody in Timber is in on it, trading human lives for AP, retrieving pornography, reading the battle series, listening to adults ramble, getting scammed by children, dumping my sister fifteen times, assisting an unhoused man, watching state TV outside, engaging in interpersonal work...

This is a super interesting time in dialogue box history. Today we're squatting it out, calling a president president, playing with toy trains, indulging a ludicrous plan, speaking with a dummy, leaping over train cars, inputting codes, performing enhanced interrogation techniques, reading Anarchist Monthly, melting into a zombie, wondering what just happened, reciting contract terms, and resolvin...

I dreamt I was a moron. After waking up, we're drinking in a hotel bar, approaching a pianist, cramping up like a fucking loser, hearing about it from the boys, living a dream in a nightmare, suffering anxiety-based paralysis, blabbering to my crush, waking up on a train, getting hit by another train, entering the Zone zone, experiencing diarrhea, and meeting a lady and her dog. There's no way we...

Blow it out your ass. Before that we're suffering through a zealous Zell, receiving our first SeeD mission, reading a weapons book, meeting Mr. Paper Test Boy, riding a hoverboard, exploring Diablos' core, meeting the Big Bad Rascal, losing a card on purpose, riding in a private train car, remotely viewing the past, becoming The Man With The Machine Gun, abandoning the mission, and going back home...

SeeD is not a non-profit organization. This time we're appreciating the world map map, realizing the invasion was all for cash flow, shaming Seifer, interrupting Cid's exposition, receiving our SeeD rank, hearing GF rumors, wearing dumb formal clothing, being a dick at a party, dancing as a means of subterfuge, witnessing Quistis' complete meltdown, meeting my teacher at the make out zone, getting...

I'm gonna tell you 'bout my Romantic Dream. It involves reassigning Squall's inspiration, falling down a hill, assuming chicken-wuss, meeting Biggs and Wedge, discussing Guardian Force ethics, slaying Elvoret, uncovering GF compatibility, both killing and evading the X-ATM092, learning to run, dropping out of focus, humiliating Zell's mom, and wondering why Balamb exists. God took all the good mag...

I love battles. I fear nothing. On this god forsaken installment we're playing cards with groupies, assembling protagonists, channeling shōnen energy, swallowing Cid's propaganda, developing a gunblade fetish, stating chicken wuss etymology, being antisocial for test scores, storming a beach, incapacitating soldiers, idling around a fountain, and delivering the best line of the game. Ok then, good...

DRINK? This time we're revisiting Dr. Kadowaki, avoiding Selphie, constructing artifice, no-selling the disciplinary committee, chatting up a lunch lady, living alone in a multi-student dorm, questioning the necessity of T-Rexaurs in captivity, reading an Occult Magazine, junctioning magic, observing the world map, and taking down Ifrit. You could win a free Toyota Echo (not really).  01:37 Intro...

Let us pursue another dumb idea that turned into a good idea. As we've casually mentioned for the past few months, we've been working on a new (occasional) show, GOD BLESS THE RING , an exploration of the history, lore, and gameplay of classic beat 'em ups and fighting games. We brought in a third host (thanks, Mark) and try to put a twist on our format. Fighting games and beat 'em ups aren't real...

My forehead hurts. Today we're waking up, passing concussion protocol, pronouncing Quistis, foreshadowing a lady, collecting a student, moping through class, blending into the background, showing favoritism, sorting through our desk, developing paramagic, building the school-to-military pipeline, questioning friendly fascism, and meeting Selphie before she's Selphie. Stop trying to be cool. 01:15...

Trailer for Retrograde Amnesia

Hey, it's season three of Retrograde Amnesia. For the debut of our Final Fantasy VIII coverage, we're clarifying release dates, questioning the budget, identifying developers, reading Famitsu interviews, challenging the staff, mispronouncing everything, regretting misogyny, exploring the demo, plagiarizing music, fantasizing about Chocobo World, appreciating the commercial, sorting through 21 year...

Give us all the liquid substances you have in this box. On our final episode of season two, we're fast forwarding time, finding a future as a fisherman, cutting Lynx to ribbons, bickering over Serge's attention, experiencing diarrhea, losing the tickets, mascoting an indigenous race, being a cat about town, sallying forth, facing the music, becoming FATE, starting the Viper Youth, fleecing marks a...

Everything exists for this one moment. Tonight we're fighting the Dragon God, descending to nihilism, listening to final boss music, talking to sacred ghosts at the beach, dealing with destiny, identifying true father, talking with everyone about the Final Gate, using the power of music the save the world, spewing idioms, spreading life, birthing a universe, exposing the Turnip realm, and waiting...

It is your will to choose destruction. This time, I guess, we're beating up sentient jelly, cheesing out with the Grandream, enduring a sadness wave, visiting ethereal Viper Manor, listening to the sage of reason, chatting up the Chrono Kids, ignoring sonic hints, getting blown, seeing Mothership, and mining additional unique dialogue. Chris is recreationally echoing because of a production boner,...

We're forever your friends, no matter which timeline this is. Today we're getting a letter from a dead scientist, alluding to a secret heritage, leaning into Magus lore, believing in a glam rock king, breathing underwater for antigravity technology, getting weak to red, creating an oxygen forcefield, installing alien artifacts in a maritime vessel, bending time, and looking at some final techs. Th...

The dragons ate each other. Today we're meeting with plot relevant characters, turning Mojo into Mojoy, questioning the nature of Maiden Faith, actualizing the Chrono Cross, preparing for time travel, freeing children from fire, obtaining button codes, disappearing from the past, finding a little Kid, and making a transdimensional promise  Gato is here and he has been fucked.  01:04 Intro | 02:37...

We are bound by fate to ingest copious amounts of lore. This time we're egging time on, initializing wormholes, doing a phase metastasis, staring into the sea, installing memories, radically dreaming of a different life, personifying Fate, braining mother, registering as arbiter, unfreezing a flame, listening to a villain speech, meeting an old friend, moonwalking, dying off, resurrecting geograph...

This time it's about time. That means it's time for ghost lore consultation, tracing the counter time effect, looking at anti annihilation energy, killing the police, controlling a sewer drone, inputting binary code, rhyming DNA with musical notes, learning about Lavos, and questioning the nature of fate. Humans will always use knowledge to corrupt the earth. 01:19 Intro | 02:45 Chronopolis Lobby...

Please insert disc 2. This time we're closing out characters with third techs, jumping on a tombstone, giving a book to a homeopathic surfer, eating children, pushing blobs for butterflies, kicking turds, visiting our doomed dimensional twin, diseasing opponents, cooking with a brother, inspiring a mermaid, pushing through fate distortions, and unloading Fate lore. Eric is the fake net in this one...