Rethinking Communication

So often, our response to difficult and divisive conversations falls one of two ways — either we avoid the messiness and complexity and withdraw, or, we go in with clenched fists, ready for a fight.   But as you'll hear from my guests this week, there is a third way.   John Siebeling and Wayne Francis are two pastors and friends that lead thriving churches in two very different cities who teamed u...

My guest this week is Chris Duffy, a comedian who found his way into hosting one of my favorite podcasts, How to Be a Better Human.   Chris details how he came to host the show, which is part of the TED Audio Collective, and all that he has learned in interviewing some pretty amazing human beings.   And as Chris is quick to point out, he's not saying he's the better human, he's just "a fool asking...

Mónica Guzmán is on a mission to help us see that questions should not be used as weapons to establish superiority, but rather as tools in our curiosity toolbox.   Mónica is the Director of Digital and Storytelling at Braver Angels, a non-profit working to depolarize America, as well as the author of the book "I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerou...

At 6 years old, Josh Stepakoff was the victim of a mass shooting.   Josh was just 6 years old playing capture the flag at a Jewish summer camp with a white supremacist starting shooting. Josh was shot in the hip and leg. Four others were injured, and one person was killed.   For more than 20 years, Josh has worked to overcome the fear and anxiety that his ordeal produced, and he's had to do it tim...

I've always had a tricky relationship with the practice of gratitude.   It often felt forced, inauthentic, and at times, unhelpful or even unhealthy.   But my guests this week, Belinda Liu and Omar Brownson, provide a new perspective on practicing everyday gratitude in such a way that places the focus on self-reflection, connection with nature, and collaboration with other people.   Belinda is the...

Social media and "Big Tech" are at the forefront of a lot of peoples' minds these days with the news Elon Musk's bid to purchase Twitter.   Technology's role and importance in our lives are obvious, but with all of the advancements we've seen and experienced, one must ask if it has all been beneficial or positive.   This is the major question my guests this week seek to ask. Mehran Sahami and Jere...

In this episode, I finally get to have the conversation that I've wanted to have ever since I first heard the question, "How can you hate me if you don't even know me?"   Daryl Davis is a black man who has asked that question of hundreds of Ku Klux Klan members and other white supremacists, including Jeff Schoep, the former leader of the National Socialist Movement who left that life behind severa...

I am a sucker for personality tests.   My favorite is the Enneagram. And while I know personality tests aren't the end-all, be-all, there's something about the Enneagram that deeply resonates with me.   What's interesting about the Enneagram is that it gives you a view of what an unhealthy version of yourself looks like, as well as a healthy version.   In this episode, I speak with Ian Morgan Cron...

Cognitive dissonance is  the extremely uncomfortable feeling we get when we face new information that we know to be true but doesn't align with our identities or beliefs.   The alarming things about cognitive dissonance is the lengths we will go to to preserve our identity rather than face a new reality.   In this episode, I chat with Dominic Packer, a professor of psychology at Lehigh University,...

Can food be a way to get more people to the table - so to speak - to discuss hot button topics and issues with a less argumentative and judgmental undertone?   This is a question that my guest on this episode quite literally set out to answer.   Justine Lee, the executive director of an organization called Living Room Conversations, as well as the co-creator of a series of events called Make Ameri...

My guest this week, Bruce Ledewitz, characterizes the era we are currently living in as the Age of Evasion.   In the Age of Evasion, irony replaces reason and passion replaces planning. And a lack of or even complete loss of faith.   As a man who grew up religious who now is atheist, Bruce has a unique perspective on this loss of faith and what it has meant to our society.   Yet interestingly enou...

So often, we see what we want to see.   Once it's there, we really, really believe what we see.   And what we see affects how we act.   And this has enormous ramifications on the stories we tell about ourselves and about others.   My guest this week is Mike Ganino, a speaking and storytelling coach who helps people who want to stand out on stage and deliver memorable, resonant performances.   I kn...

What if I told you this relentless pursuit of self care we've been sold as the answer to our happiness was the thing most contributing to the loneliness, detachment, and distrust we are collectively experiencing?   In this solo episode, I explore this idea and offer up a theory on what might be a more achievable way to attain happiness.   I'd love to hear your thoughts. Let me know on Twitter ( ht...

The United States is an experiment. And like any experiment, there have been times when it has failed miserably to produce sound, quality results for its people.   But the beauty, the promise, the hope, is in the trying. T he beacon of light that so many view as the United States is wrapped up in the action plan put forth by the founding fathers to pursue becoming a more perfect union.   My guest...

Can humans keep up with the accelerating pace of change we are collectively experiencing? An ironic question considering the change is the making of our own hands.   Despite all of the comforts that modern life affords human beings, we are more uncomfortable, more miserable, and more polarized than we've ever been.   My guest this week is Heather Heying, an evolutionary biologist who writes in her...

James Parker is a filmmaker and the director of the documentary Other Side of the Hill, which takes us to rural Eastern Oregon to document how climate change is affecting the livelihood and the economy of several rural communities there, as told through the voices of the people on the ground.   Being from a mostly rural state myself, Kansas, the people in James' film are deeply familiar to me. The...

What can a painting of a shipwreck from the early 1800s tell us about our society today?   This week's guest, Amy Herman, believes art holds within it important lessons about life, greed, politics, and humanity that carry through from centuries past.   Amy is the founder of The Art of Perception , an innovative program that uses works of art to revitalize our creative thinking. She's written a new...

My guest this week is Tony Chatman, the author of the book The Force Multiplier: How to lead teams where everyone wins .   A force multiplier is a tool used to exponentially increase output. Think of a wheelbarrow, or a pulley.   Or in the case of a leader, someone who positively impacts the performance of those in their charge beyond the bounds of what they individually contribute — the whole is...

What you are about to hear is quite possibly the most difficult conversation I've ever had. So much so that I almost didn't do it.   But that's what makes it so good.   My guest this week is Andy Norman. Andy is an author, researcher, and philosopher who believes we can inoculate our minds against bad ideas. And Andy is an atheist. And I? I am a Christian.   What you're about to hear is an example...

Here in the United States, we are not at war. We have options and choices as to how we move forward and bridge political, ideological, and social divides.   That's the overarching message this week's guest, Nealin Parker, wants us all to understand.   Nealin is the founder and former advisor to the Bridging Divides Initiative at Princeton University and newly minted Executive Director of Common Gr...

What does resilience mean these days? Depending on your view of the world, we're either displaying our resilience as human beings, or we're succumbing to our lack of it.   For this week's guest, Stacey Copas, who was paralyzing in a diving accident as a kid, resilience means so many things. But it most certainly does not mean going back to "the way things were" — something many of us have likely l...

When you hear the word peace, what comes to mind?   For this week's guest, John Noltner, the meaning of peace has come out of some pretty uncomfortable moments.   In the wake of the 2008 recession John's freelance photography gigs were too few and far between to keep the bills paid, so he had to come up with a plan.   And so, John began a project that came to be called A Peace of My Mind, where he...

One of the most frustrating aspects of the last 18 or so months as we've dealt with the COVID-19 pandemic has been the rampant misunderstanding of the scientific process.   We've heard "trust the science" over and over again, but what does that even mean? What do people think of when they read scientific research — if they even read it at all? And what nuance is missing in our discussions about sc...

Most of us can agree that finding common ground is a good thing, but we desperately struggle to put it into action.   My guest this week is Bruce Bond, the CEO and Co-Founder of the Common Ground Committee, one of many organizations working to provide the "spark of inspiration" needed to help us come together in more meaningful ways.   Bruce says that without an outside common enemy, we often turn...

Take a moment and sincerely try to articulate a view that is opposite of your own.   It's uncomfortable, and it's really, really hard to not let your biases and assumptions about "the other side" cloud your ability to articulate their views.   Because chances are, your view of "the other side" is far more extreme than what is actually true, and t his is exactly the mindset that is the focal point...