Respect Me, Once The Dust Settles.

I thought I was opening a wedding invitation from someone I once knew. I had no idea that clicking a link would lead to one of the most violating experiences of my life. My email account was compromised. Messages were being sent without my permission, and the login activity showed Nigeria. I changed my passwords, secured my accounts, and scanned my computer, trying to figure out how far the damage...

Jay-Z is preparing to headline the Super Bowl halftime show, and for me, this moment is bigger than the music. Watching artists from my generation reunite and celebrate the careers we grew up watching has reminded me just how special that era was. But Jay-Z's journey, from  Reasonable Doubt  to one of the biggest stages in the world, is what makes this moment worth appreciating. I get into wha...

Soulja Boy changed the game. But what did we lose along the way? In this episode of  Respect Me, Once The Dust Settles , we revisit the era of  Crank Dat , the explosion of YouTube dances, and the internet culture that eventually paved the way for TikTok. Soulja Boy deserves his flowers as an innovator, but the shift toward viral moments changed the incentives around music. What happened to lyrici...

Michael Jackson changed the sound of popular music, but the story becomes even more fascinating when you listen to the albums in order. On this episode of  Respect Me, Once The Dust Settles , we travel from  Off the Wall  through  Thriller ,  Bad , and  Dangerous , arriving at  Invincible —the album that deserves another conversation. Along the way, we explore Michael’s changing relationship with...

Sometimes, you don't find out how much a person meant to you until you realize you'll never get the chance to tell them. In this episode of  Respect Me, Once The Dust Settles , I share the story of discovering that someone I once considered a close friend had passed away years earlier. What began as an ordinary night, reminiscing about someone I hadn't spoken to in years, turned into a...

The Knicks got their rings. The banner went up. Madison Square Garden looked beautiful, and for a moment, it all hit me. Then we lost to Philadelphia, and suddenly the entire Eastern Conference had something to say. In this episode of  Respect Me, Once The Dust Settles , Bodega takes you from the emotion of watching New York celebrate a championship to a full-blown address to the rest of the East....

Wendy’s brought back the yellow packaging, but did they bring back the food that made us love them in the first place? In this episode of  Respect Me, Once The Dust Settles , Bodega breaks down why Wendy’s may have missed the entire point of its nostalgic rebrand. Between the company’s own admissions about food quality and cost-cutting decisions, the decline of the classic nuggets, and the persona...

Victoria Monét has been reminding me just how incredible R&B can be, and Snoh Aalegra's return with “Karma” gave me another reason to fall in love with the genre all over again. In this episode, I get into the artistry, anticipation, and emotional depth that make these two women so special. From Victoria's ability to honor the classics while creating something entirely her own to Snoh&...

Ian Schwartzman Sometimes you walk into an opportunity hoping to leave with a little more than you came with. Sometimes you leave without what you wanted, but with something you needed. In this episode, I reflect on a recent conversation with Ian Schwartzman, who gave me the opportunity to pitch my podcast,  Respect Me, Once The Dust Settles , during a Twitter Space. Although I didn't walk awa...

Why Would I Say Free the Bros? People want to be liked and accepted so badly that they'll publicly stand behind a movement without even knowing what they're supporting. In this episode, I get into the social media culture of blind allegiance, performative loyalty, and the pressure to prove you're down for your people regardless of what they've done. When did being a good friend sta...

Know Who You’re Talking To Sometimes the opportunity that comes at the right time comes with conditions you never saw coming. After landing what seemed like the perfect remote job, I quickly learned that being good at your job doesn't always mean you'll be respected for it. From questionable management and conflicting expectations to tripling my monthly goal with no real path for growth, I...

I think I developed my type before I even knew I had one. From Tatyana Ali and Karyn Parsons to Janet Jackson, T-Boz, Nia Long, Lela Rochon, and the women who made the 90s feel like the 90s, this episode is a love letter to the women who helped shape my idea of beauty. Growing up, beauty came in different faces, different personalities, different styles, and different kinds of presence. Looking ba...

What happened to the word “weird”? When I was a kid, weird actually meant weird. The kid eating loose-leaf paper, reminding the teacher about homework, or doing something that made absolutely no sense had earned the title. Now it feels like “weird” has become something else entirely. Having an opinion that doesn't match the crowd can get you labeled weird. Refusing to participate in a trend ca...

After a long break, I’m back. This episode takes me all the way back to kindergarten graduation — the uncomfortable dress shoes, searching the auditorium for your parents, the camera flashes, the little friends beside you, and the moment an entire room of children came together to sing “I Believe I Can Fly.” At that age, we didn't understand everything we were singing. We simply believed it. Looki...

I thought my podcast was missing something. The sound, the atmosphere, the vibe. Then I realized I wasn't trying to fix the podcast. I was trying to fix a feeling in my life. In this episode, I talk honestly about my growing disconnect with Dallas, what I miss about New York, why culture and environment matter more to me than I realized, and the kind of life I actually want to wake up to. This...

Episode Description I used to think I knew what love was. I thought love was intensity. Romance. Affection. Wanting somebody so badly that their presence could change the entire feeling of a room. But getting older has changed the question. I don't just want to be loved anymore.  I want to be known. In this episode, I explore the difference between the love we imagine when we're young and...

HAVE I BEEN UNGRATEFUL MY ENTIRE LIFE? I took an edible, got deep in thought, and somehow ended up questioning my entire relationship with money, material things, ambition, and gratitude. Growing up, my parents made sure I had what I needed. I had good meals, new clothes, regular haircuts, money for school, and parents who consistently showed up for me. I didn't grow up with every designer bra...

A MOTHER IS GONNA MOTHER REGARDLESS The  Raising Kanan  finale left me thinking about something much bigger than Raq and Kanan. What happens when your child grows into an adult you can no longer protect, guide, or control? Raq spent years trying to shape the man Kanan would become. Eventually, she had to face the reality every parent eventually faces:  your child becomes their own person. That doe...

IT'S NOT THE DREAM I REJECTED, IT'S THE FUTURE WITH YOU Have you ever met someone who was good to you... and still couldn't picture spending the rest of your life with them? No betrayal. No dramatic ending. No obvious reason you could point to and say,  "That's why." You just couldn't see it. And that's where things get complicated. Because what do you tell somebo...

ALCOHOL MADE YOU DO IT, BUT YOU SHAVED BEFORE GOING "Alcohol made me do it." We've all heard it. But here's the problem... you shaved before going. This episode starts with a joke about cheating and alcohol, but it quickly becomes a deeper conversation about excuses, accountability, self-awareness, and the stories we tell ourselves when we don't like the person we became in a...

She Calms My Nervous System Down Sometimes you don't understand the value of someone's presence until you're no longer in it. In this episode, I explore what it means to have someone in your life whose presence makes the weight of everything you're dealing with feel a little lighter. Not because they solve your problems, but because something about being around them gives you enough peace to see t...

How Many of Us Have Them… FRIENDS How many of us have them? Friends. The older I get, the more complicated that word becomes. Friendship isn't just about how long you've known somebody. It's about who shows up, who tells you the truth, who can celebrate your growth without competing with it, and whether both people are willing to evolve. In this episode, I get into the expiration dates...

100 100 episodes later, I finally understand what  Respect Me Once The Dust Settles  is actually about. When I started this podcast, I thought I wanted to enter the self-help and self-improvement space. But the more I lived, the harder it became to pretend I had the answers. I’m still figuring out love, relationships, faith, discipline, ambition, money, and what it means to become the person I wan...

Sometimes I Feel Like Quitting Episode 99 is a check-in on the journey. Sometimes you can want something badly and still get tired of trying to make it happen. In this episode, I talk about what it actually feels like to build something before you know what it's going to become—the uncertainty, consistency, faith, patience, personal sacrifices, and relationships that can change while you'r...

Maximillian? Why does the modern world sometimes feel like a cartoon version of the future we were warned about? In this episode of  Respect Me Once The Dust Settles , a simple question about the disappearing name “Maximillian” turns into a bigger conversation about individuality, technology, convenience, nostalgia, architecture, fashion, food, social media, and the strange sameness creeping into...