Remote Station Seven

This Valentine's Day, don't forget your favorite administrative bureaucrat! They need love too.

Be sure to tune in for our election special. We have been busily gathering the final results in advance for you!

Have told a friend about Remote Station Seven? Don't. Sharing information endangers friendships. And lives.

Do you enjoy our spy numbers broadcasts? Then you're going to love our bingo numbers broadcasts. Why not tune into both?

Please note: If you have heard one of our broadcasts on our World Service Radio, you should be made aware that we do not offer World Service Radio and wherever you got this idea from, you should alert the appropriate authorities and forget that you ever imagined that you heard our World Service Radio broadcasts that do not exist.

Have outdated listening equipment and need a newer model? Have you contacted the appropriate authorities? They will provide you with a complimentary device after you sign the allegiance papers.

Our longest running show [title redacted] has been stricken from our schedule due to unforeseen circumstances announced by the appropriate authorities several weeks ago. We denounce [title redacted] and all of the recipes presented on it.

The following program does not necessarily represent the views of the staff at Remote Station Seven. It should be stressed that Remote Station Seven agrees with the authorities, any authorities, on every subject.

Be sure to use your Remote Station Seven Supporters Club card for discounts at participating businesses, but please beware it can not be used to initiate release if detained. In some precincts, it can go towards a less vigorous interrogation session.

Please follow us on Facegram.

Why not send us your favorite recipe and win a chance to serve it at the next committee meeting of the State-Sponsored Official Body of Broadcasters?

Warning: Certain broadcasts may cause death to listeners who are prone to death. We take no responsibility for listener carelessness.

This station meets mandatory compliance statutes. All programming has been approved. The airwaves are property of the official bodies. Please do not hesitate to contact us in order to request your favorite song.

Our station-branded pocket combs are back in stock. Your messy hair solution has arrived.

Our signal is no longer jammed in Antarctica thanks to an agreement made with the Secret Antarctic Council for Governance.

Information is free but not necessary.

The opinions expressed on this program do not necessarily reflect the views of the staff of Remote Station Seven. A reminder: Remote Station Seven does not exist. It has no staff. It has no views.

Currently seeking a licensed tube rectifier. No benefits, plenty of overtime, love of isolation a must.

Please call for more information.

Point of the journey is the point.

Weather reports are no longer offered by this station. We believe in free will.

Unauthorized personal phone call made by employee during official broadcast hours. The appropriate authorities were consulted and the employee has been dealt with in an appropriate manner. We take these issues seriously.

Sometimes you hear things that you don't actually hear and other times you don't hear the things you need to. And then there are the times in between.

Important information contained within. Please respond with confirmatory notations. Code configuration Beta Zeta Floofel Suitcase Alpha.

Is it only ever garbled? Are there no clear messages?