Remote Station Seven

Remote Station Seven is celebrating its 100th year as the official state-sanctioned broadcaster. We are proud to spread the word internationally that supreme authority and the perception of generous political domination can be combined within one ruling body. You can put your mind to ease, everything is under control.

Remote Station Seven is celebrating its 100th year as the official state-sanctioned broadcaster. We are proud to spread the word internationally that supreme authority and the perception of generous political domination can be combined within one ruling body. You can put your mind to ease, everything is under control.

Remote Station Seven is celebrating its 100th year as the official state-sanctioned broadcaster. We are proud to spread the word internationally that supreme authority and the perception of generous political domination can be combined within one ruling body. You can put your mind to ease, everything is under control.

Remote Station Seven is celebrating its 100th year as the official state-sanctioned broadcaster. We are proud to spread the word internationally that supreme authority and the perception of generous political domination can be combined within one ruling body. You can put your mind to ease, everything is under control.

Remote Station Seven is celebrating its 100th year as the official state-sanctioned broadcaster. We are proud to spread the word internationally that supreme authority and perception of generous political domination can be combined within one ruling body. You can put your mind to ease, everything is under control.

We’re sorry. This week’s Hit Parade has been withdrawn due to sensitive information included in the Top 10 list.

We firmly believe a one party system takes the anxiety out of your voting experience.

Broadcasts will continue despite the government-enacted confiscation of radio devices. If you are caught listening to our broadcasts during this process, appropriate punishment will be forthcoming.

Would you like to be featured on our new program Let Me Tell You About Myself? You have only a 25% chance of being arrested for expressing subversive thoughts, so why not come to our studios and let our listeners get to know you.

Tired of the same old headlines? That’s what happens when you have an endless war waging beyond the borders. It’s the burden of your citizenship.

Join the Remote Station Seven Debate League and compete to see who can argue in favor of the state better than anyone else. It’s also a great opportunity to uncover dissidents. Plus delicious snacks!

You cannot have free speech without unfree speech. You cannot have free thought without unfree thought. This is just the natural balance of the universe.

Want a free t-shirt? Why not join our Youth Truth Squad? Join your peers in marauding citizens with Approved Opinions and get one of our stylish t-shirts that will prove you are part of the crowd!

You have the right to forfeit your rights. That is your ultimate right as a citizen.

Is your work not fulfilling? Who are you doing your work for? Yourself or the good of the state? Don’t allow selfishness to dominate your work ethic. Any work for the good of the state is fulfilling work.

Our new Missing Pets announcements broadcast is not meant to imply that we will also offer a Missing Persons announcements broadcast, since there are no missing people as government statistics on the subject have repeatedly shown.

Fun fact: The free flow of information will create a tidal wave that will pummel your being as you drown in the depths of your so-called freedom.

Perhaps you’d like to know our official history. This information is classified. Please refrain from your current activities under penalty of law. 

Remote Station Seven would like to confirm that the recent reports of recent reports of lights in the night sky were incorrect. The night sky remains shrouded for your protection and lights remain forbidden. We urge you to stay indoors.

Ever feel like someone is listening in on your private thoughts? Don’t be foolish. You have no private thoughts.

It’s time for the Remote Station Seven cutest pet contest. Listeners are encouraged to send in photos of their pet doing something adorable, along with its registration identification number and official electronic implant status.

Remote Station Seven is dedicated to serving its listening community, and can better serve you if you submit a document with your name, address, and whatever grievances you have with the appropriate authorities. This information will not be used for any purpose that need concern you.

The Remote Station Seven staff curling team is fundraising again. When designated collection agents appear at your door, do not be alarmed. Please remember to surrender your unregistered electronic devices. And have a nice day.

Any resemblance between Remote Station Seven transmissions and the sounds in your own head are purely coincidental, and no such official experiments exist that could possibly make this a reality.

Had radio problems? Attempted to fix the problem on your own? Found a mysterious device lodged within your radio? This is all in your head. It never happened.