Relationships By Design

Where fear divides, love unites. It’s done by being of service to yourself and others. A place you come from. Serving out of love is true service when I am enjoying or “in joy” of what I do. Then I know I’m doing it for the right reasons and allows me to be in service in the right way. “Be the change, not think about it or talk about it. Start being that. Then I notice it attracts other positive t...

How do we perceive the phrase “I Am”? Negatively? Or Positively? Affirmations have power in how their worded – focus on the present tense. Changing demeanor as we make these statements positive can deeply affect a change in our energies. “I see myself and others as resourceful, as powerful, as having all they need to do what they want, as being accountable and totally owning their lives... or in m...

Fear can be paralyzing, it can stop us in our tracks when we're trying to achieve new goals or get in the way of making positive changes. In times of stress, our fears can divide us when we get defensive about the choices that we make. This can impact our personal relationships when we have doubts about our worthiness; or can cause us to become defensive about our ideals when talking about controv...

The more time flies the more we tend to get stuck in our ways. Taking a step back every once and a while to make sure that these habits serve us well can be very beneficial, in more ways then one. Being more conscious of our habits can help promote a healthier lifestyle, or more fruitful relationships. Committing to changing our routines is often easier said then done, but finding ways to "experim...

We often tend to get caught up in our routines, and sometimes forget to focus on what's important to us, but we shouldn't let Valentines day be the only reminder throughout the year to love and care for our significant other.  How would it affect our relationship if we put in the same amount effort we normally do for Valentines Day everyday day of the year? What else would we learn about our partn...

This past year has been hectic for all of us, but it also provided an opportunity to reflect on our lives and choices. It was a chance for us to look at how we reacted to events that were out of our control, and going forward chose how we respond to get the results we are looking for. Whether it was a change in hobbies and personal commitments, a delay in plans for the near future, or a loss in a...

Being aware of when we're entering the "dreaded drama triangle" and what roles we play in it is a key component to putting an end to the cycle it creates. The important thing to learn is how to "take that costume off, and step out of the theatre". In this episode, we discuss David Emerald's book called "The Power of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)". In his book, David brings up an alternative to t...

Many couples we coach will say that they want to get rid of conflict in their relationship, but conflict is actually a great awareness tool that helps us look deeper within to see what's really going on. This episode we'll be discussing Karpman's Triangle, also known as "the Dreaded Drama Triangle" as a framing for how we approach drama and conflict in our relationships. When David Karpman and his...

"It's the idea of 'how soon' do we start having those conversations." In this episode of Relationships By Design, Dan and Carol discuss the importance of raising financially savvy kids, and the ways we can start discussing money with them at an early age. The concept of money isn't something that a lot of children are familiar with. They see their parents walk into a store, swipe a card, and retur...

"I need to give what I want to receive back, regardless of whether anybody gives it back to." In this episode of Relationships By Design, Dan and Carol remind us of why it's important to normalize discussions around personal finances, and how by doing so we can remove unnecessary tension. Money is often a very taboo topic in our culture. Unfortunately, by leaving it at the bottom of the list of "t...

"I need to give what I want to receive back, regardless of whether anybody gives it back to." In this episode of Relationships By Design, Dan and Carol talk about gratitude, how being grateful can help us reframe our circumstances, and why showing our appreciation makes all the difference. We may not realize it, but so many of us are stuck in the routine of focusing on the negative aspects of life...

"I think as well as the intention there is the attention." In this episode of Relationships By Design, Dan and Carol talk about communication, why effective communication matters, and how to nurture strong communication between us. Communication may be the single strongest tool we have to learn, grow, and share amongst ourselves. Without communication, there is no basis for understanding each othe...

"How do we want to feel when we're ninety years old and experiencing life together?" In this episode of Relationships By Design, Dan and Carol reminds us how important it is to have a  vision for our relationships, and the ways we can build them together. Vision is such a pivotal part of achieving any goal. If you have a vision, then you have a heading, and with a heading you can strive to make sm...

"It's about owning our results and our feelings." In this episode of Relationships By Design, Dan and Carol discuss the role accountability plays in our own lives, and how relationships can help us developer this skill even further. Accountability is often perceived as a personal level of self discipline. We are always told how important it is that we are accountable, but not always told given ins...

"We start with the self. That's where it all begins, that's the star." In this episode of Relationships By Design, Dan and Carol explain the fundamentals of a strong relationship: self-awareness, self-love, and how that manifests in our relationships. Relationships are often perceived as a collaboration between two or more people, but ultimately what we tend to forget is the most important part of...