Relationship Dish

Is everyone who hurts you a narcissist? In this fascinating episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona welcome licensed therapist and author Carla Litto—whom Iona affectionately calls "the anti-narcissist extraordinaire"—to separate internet myths from clinical reality. ( CLICK HERE to order her book, Outsmarting Egomaniacs !) Carla explains the difference between everyday narcissistic traits and...

What if your feelings weren't a problem to solve, but a signal to pay attention to? In this episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona explore boundary-setting through a lens that many people miss: your body's own warning system. They discuss how anxiety, irritability, sadness, overwhelm, numbness, and even physical sensations can be clues that you're moving outside your window of tolerance—and t...

How quickly do you turn someone into a one-dimensional version of themselves? In this deeply personal episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona unpack a real interaction between the two of them—one where judgment, assumptions, and anxiety quietly shaped the way they saw each other, until vulnerability changed everything. They explore why we often flatten people into simple stories when mixed fee...

When you hear the word intimacy , do you automatically think of sex? In this eye-opening episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona challenge the narrow way most of us define intimacy and explore the many other ways we truly connect with other people. They unpack the six different types of intimacy—sexual, emotional, intellectual, social, physical, and spiritual—and why great relationships need m...

After years behind the mic, Pam and Iona reflect on how Relationship Dish has evolved from research-heavy conversations to something more lived-in, intuitive, and real. And in this episode, they take that evolution even deeper with a powerful question:  Who are you, underneath it all? Many people come to therapy focused on symptoms like anxiety, depression, and conflict, but beneath those layers l...

Think avoiding conflict is the key to a happy relationship? Think again. In this powerful episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona unpack why real intimacy isn't built by keeping the peace—it's built by risking it. They explore how sexual intimacy alone isn't enough to sustain a relationship, and why deeper connection requires emotional vulnerability, honesty, and a willingness to rock the boat...

Where do our expectations in relationships actually come from—and when do they start working against us? In this revealing episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona unpack the difference between healthy needs and unrealistic expectations—and how unmet (or even met) childhood experiences can quietly shape both. They explore how what we didn't receive growing up can turn into deep longings—or even...

Can people actually change, or do we eventually have to learn how to live with what  is ? In this episode of  Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona let listeners in on their behind-the-scenes process of choosing a topic—then land on one that hits close to home. Pam opens up about her ongoing struggle to set boundaries with people she loves, and how making slow, incremental changes feels essential befor...

What does it look like when couples therapy actually works ? In this special episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona are joined by Dr. Rotem Regev , a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist, to share real stories of couples who did the work—and found their way back to trust, connection, and understanding. Together, they explore the deeper question underneath most relationship conflicts. Wheth...

"Narcissist" has become a buzzword—and that can get messy fast. In this episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona aren't diagnosing anyone… but they are digging into narcissistic traits and how they show up in real relationships, from subtle emotional neglect to full-blown "nothing is ever my fault" dynamics. Iona shares from personal experience—and her graduate school research—about growing up...

Is it the big stuff that wears down relationships or the tiny, everyday annoyances? In this fun, honest episode of  Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona dish about relationship pet peeves, from minor irritations to major triggers—and even guess what their partners would say drives them crazy. Pam shares her frustrations "yes, but" responses, reckless driving, and the ever-controversial topic of lying...

What does it really mean to be emotionally mature—and why is it so damn hard sometimes? In this episode of  Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona dive deep into the difference between having big feelings and acting on them. They unpack how emotional maturity isn't something you automatically get with age; it's something you build through awareness, accountability, and a refusal to keep blaming others f...

Ever long for a deep, loving relationship—then find yourself backing away the moment it gets real? In this relatable episode of  Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona unpack the quiet ambivalence that makes so many of us crave intimacy while unconsciously resisting it. Pam gets candid about her own fears of losing herself in love—how past experiences and a "one-red-flag rule" have kept her from getting...

Gratitude sounds simple, but for many of us, it's complicated. In this deeply honest episode of  Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona explore how early emotional wounds can make it hard to feel gratitude, joy, or even trust the good in our lives. Iona opens up about how her father's emotional unpredictability made her wary of happiness itself—how gratitude once felt unsafe, even dangerous. Over time,...

Ever wonder why you're drawn to people who feel a little too familiar? In this revealing episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona unpack how the dynamics we learned from our parents quietly shape who we love—and how we relate. From Pam's emotionally distant father who lived "neck-up," to Iona's unpredictable, larger-than-life dad whose approval could feel like winning the lottery, both hosts ex...

It's the Relationship Dish season finale—and Pam and Iona are closing things out with their top 10 best tips for building and maintaining a healthy, connected romantic relationship. From repairing after a rupture to setting boundaries, from learning to share your deepest feelings to finding joy and fun together, they cover the core practices that make love last. Along the way, they get real about...

Are you feeding your ego—or your intimacy? In this thought-provoking episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona unpack the subtle but powerful forces that quietly sabotage closeness in relationships. Drawing on ideas from David Burns's Feeling Good Handbook , they explore how conflict, blame, defensiveness, self-pity, and the need to be "right" can feel addictive—meeting hidden cravings for power...

What does it really mean to be a we in a relationship—and how do you balance it with your own I ? In this insightful episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona dig into the delicate art of collaboration, compromise, and connection. Iona shares how therapy (and a lot of practice) helped her have a wonderful holiday trip with her husband—addressing bumps in the road through true partnership and com...

Fights happen, but what  really matters is what comes next. In this raw and revealing episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona explore the often-missed art of repair —the intentional process of healing after conflict. Whether you grew up in a home where repair was modeled or swept under the rug, chances are no one taught you how to do it well. From repeating old parent/child dynamics to the all...

Thinking about couples therapy? Wondering if it can really fix what's broken—or if you're just signing up for weekly battles on a therapist's couch? In this episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona pull back the curtain on what actually happens in couples therapy, what brings most couples through the door, and why it only works if both partners are willing to show up—messy feelings and all. The...

We all say we want healthy boundaries—but actually setting them? That's where things get messy. In this raw and revealing episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona go beyond the surface-level how-to's and explore the deeper emotional blocks that keep so many of us stuck in people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and silent resentment. They share personal stories of how their childhoods shaped their b...

Sure, you've done the hard work—therapy, repair, tough conversations. But now what? In this feel-good episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona dive into something couples often forget to prioritize: fun . From day trips to date nights, puzzles to pub nights, they explore how joy acts as a deposit in your relationship bank account—and why it's crucial for long-term connection. Pam shares honestl...

What does a real apology sound like—and why is it so damn hard to get one? In this episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona dive into the delicate art of apologizing. After Iona arrives very late to the recording, she offers a genuine, no-excuses apology—and it sparks a deeper conversation about how we repair emotional ruptures in relationships. They explore the difference between heartfelt acc...

Ever feel like you're arguing with your partner's past self—or like they're stuck seeing you as who you used to be? In this candid and insightful episode of Relationship Dish , Pam and Iona explore the "ghosts" that haunt our relationships—old dynamics, traumas, and one-dimensional perceptions that get projected onto our partners and shape how we relate. From confirmation bias to emotional overfun...

In this episode, Pam and Iona unpack how childhood experiences with explosive anger shaped their adult relationships—and their own relationship with anger. From avoiding conflict to striving for perfection, they explore what happens when we bury our feelings to keep the peace, and how that can backfire. With honesty and humor, they show how learning to sit with emotions like annoyance can lead to...