Regular Features

Joe sets out to change a few laws with some harmless presidential bullying. Log writes his own episode of Star Trek in an attempt to derive something of worth from the wasted hours spent hate-watching the newest one. And Steve, god bless him, tries his best to simply stay out of their way. Let's go!

Joe screams and howls until flying kicks are reinstated in society. Steve brings you a hands-on preview of the new PlayStation. And Log embarks on an journey right up Joe's, well, umm, how else can we put this, penois. Well, let's not waste any more time. The quicker we start the quicker we're done and we can all get back into bed.

This episode entitles you to one free yacht, redeemable at your nearest marina. Log will tell you everything you need to know to get the most out of your new boat. Then Joe will unravel his own misapprehensions about what a bird is descended from. Then we'll break for lunch, have a think about what we've all done, and come back for more juice. Love you!

Do you ever get that thing where you're just about to fall asleep and you suddenly feel yourself falling and you jerk yourself awake again? That's us, giving you a little goodnight kiss. Sorry, we just can't help ourselves! In this episode, Log dreams up an entire Steve feature. Steve is sick and tired of Specsavers sending him letters about his untested eyeballs. And Gav is a reassuring presence...

Hey, it's me, the Regular Features Podcast. Let me open up way wide for you. Excuse me. Wow, what have we got here?! Gav has rented a Morgan Freeman voice. Joe has got the Alienest alien show of London. And Steve refuses to put his clock back, like a real time criminal. Hope you like our voices because that's all this is, baby.

We're back to basics, stripped down, nude and unplugged. Log takes us to a haunted manor. Steve searches the cosmos for treasures untold, and Gav spends the night in a spooky, nay-spook-tastic, cottage. That's right, it's Regular Features doing what it does best: premature, mid-October ghost whimsy. Enjoy!

Let us whet your ears with our special ear-whetting words. Are they whet yet? Then let's begin, baby. In this episode, Steve is chased around his place of work by a mean wizard. Joe invites us on a squash flavoured adventure of pickleball proportions. And Log reports back from yet another informative and helpful pubwatch session that's not an absolute waste of his time.

In this episode of the Regular Features podcast, Joe investigates Akon's ambitious city building side gig, Steve waxes poetic about Trump's havin' honked up a hot guff of rona, and Gav uncovers the hidden meaning behind the song titles of some of your most revered rap megastars. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes.

Steve ranks a box of eggs. Joe got a big damn stink following him around. Gav has become infatuated with the rain. You can't say fairer than that, can you? If you can, if you're able to say fairer than that, please write to us and let us know how you did it, because we're stumped.

Grab the heaviest spoon in the kitchen and tuck into this week's big bowlful of ice cold Regular Features, fortified with so much vitamin BEE it will make your freakin' head spin off into a bin and the bin man come and he take it away. Wow! In this episode, Gav challenges you to name the cereal in his mouth, Steve has been forging documents, and a-Log-forever-on-the-backfoot scrambles to implement...

In this episode? Joe's got saturated eggs from Morrisons. Steve confers the insatiable libido of Mister Game & Watch. And friend of the podcast Zim has an update on the status of his biggest boys.

In this episode, Log lines up his successor, Steve is confounded by the sheer number and variety of new Xboxes, and Gav presses the big red abort button on a feature too hot for even his tastes.

Open your hearts and close your eyes, fill your boots and empty your pockets, it's another episode of the Regular Features podcast. In this one, Joe's been eating in a dark room, Steve's been investigating his dentist's personal habits, and Log's courted sponsors of the dairy variety. My pasta is boiling over so I must stop writing this description x

Hey Google spiders, wrap your little legs around this bad boy. Steve lays out the steps required to properly disinfect a desk. HOW HIEGHT IS A TOM CRUISE. Gav's been off to see Tenet. BERNIE SANDERS NUDES PICS THANKS. And Log has had a visit from a detective horse who investigates cryptic murders. VIDEO OF CAT. Alright, we're done here. Wrap it up and let's go.

Every time I upload these episodes it asks me to select a genre, and so I scroll down to the "comedy" tag and select it with all the unearned confidence of a Jimmy Carr type person, boldly declaring that what we do is so categorically hilarious that an entire Amazon Web Services database needs to know about it. I am disgusting. Hello. In this episode, Gav is haunted by real sausages, real mash. St...

Look, can we just get past the fact that Log recorded the first two-thirds of this podcast underwater? It's really distracting from the fact that Steve learned loads about a Georgian gardener so that he could be really Irish again. And what about poor Joe? Joe read out an entire email, start to finish! Can he get some applause? No, because Log went underwater, then met a famous person who made him...

Hope you're hungry, because we've cooked up a three course feature meal just for you. For your starter, Joe is not best pleased with the new voice of Kermit the Frog. For your side salad, Steve's been tucking into a government-funded Wagamama. And for your main? Oh no, Gav tripped and dropped his big pot of soup down an open drain, and now all mice and rats are drinking it. Whoops.

Look what the cat just dragged in: another episode of the Regular Features podcast. As if butter wouldn't melt. As if the cat that drags us around wouldn't use its hot cat breath to melt butter, given half the chance. Get a grip. Who do we think we are? Well we're Steve, Log and Joe, amd we've come back with features about beefeaters, CAMRA awards and an angry man from corporate who didn't sign of...

Welcome back to the Regular Features lab where we build clones of the boys for each consecutive week of podcasting. Please WATCH YOUR STEP we spilled some of the juice that makes Log and it will try and slide up your trousers. Anyway, this week our latest batch of semi-conscious homunculi farted out some podcast or other. The Joe one talked about sucking on a PlayStation controller, the Steve thin...

[apologies for one CRACKLY mic, your headphones are FINE] Hey, it's another piping hot rod of Regular Features. You could set your watch to these recent few episodes, but it would be a very bad watch and you'd frequently show up to appointments days late, banging on the windows and demanding to be allowed inside for your mani-pedi or whatever it is that readers do these days. In this one: Log ging...

Politics. It's bloody everywhere. Keir Starmer. Wow. In this episode of the Regular Features podcast, Gav's gone politics mad about a biscuit baby, Steve has an entire parliament of teeth to contend with, and Joe does some serious bee science. The ayes have it. Let's go.

So I guess we're doing another hundred of these things? Alright then. Easy. Doesn't even bother us. Gav digs up feature dregs from the bottom of the ideas barrel and dusts them off, good as new. Steve is being haunted by a horrible adult baby who lives under the sink. And Log prepares his pub for a socially distanced reopening. We hope you enjoyed the last 400 episodes half as much as you're going...

We did what no other podcast has the balls to do - a livestream live show! We're sad we couldn't celebrate in a pub with you guys but hopefully this is the next best thing. Because this is a live show, please excuse the odd audio glitch. Despite doing 400 episodes of this and inventing podcasting as a medium, we're still very much finding our feet when it comes to actually recording audio.

Guess what? It's us again. I know right? We're interminable. Can't keep us off this thing. In this episode, Gav fights back against unimaginatively titled porn parodies, Log discovers Dominic Cummings's old diary, and Steve finds a curious guest has been living in his plumbing.

Live show! 8pm BST, June 13th on our YouTube channel. We weren't here for you last week, so have a luxurious king size episode on us. Lay down on it baby, roll around, grind your muddy shoes into the sheets and just soak it all up at your own pace. 58 minutes, hoo-whee, that's long enough to make whoever edited it wonder if they left a big chunk of something in there that they shouldn't have. Gav'...