RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Betrayal Recovery, Porn Addiction Recovery, Relationships, Infidelity

In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick are answering a listener's question regarding male brains. Are they really that different from female brains? Can they really not help themselves? Can they CHANGE?    They share how no, male female brains are not really different, however, societal shaping HAS treated men differently than women. When we are taught that this is just "normal" and "boys will be...

Marcy Middleton is currently working on her undergraduate degree in Applied Psychology with a minor in Biblical Studies. She serves as the Sexual Formation Deacon along with her husband at her home church in Bend, Oregon. She has led in-person groups at her home church for 3 years and also loves helping lead worship as a volunteer.   In today's episode Marcy shares talks about mid recovery. That p...

In today's episode Kylene and Patrick discuss the idea of choosing the life you live. So much of our choices are made subconsciously by programs running in the background that have been created in our life through family systems, painful moments, and our brains trying to make sense out of life...   Healing means identifying the patterns and consciously choosing the patterns we want to keep or rele...

This week Patrick takes some time to reflect on recovery, parenting, and Keegan's graduation. There are so many gifts that deep recovery work gives you including better relationships with yourself, with your children and with others. Kylene and Patrick are so appreciative of the work they have done that has increased emotional maturity, communication, and safety within relationships. We wish that...

In todays episode Kylene answers listener submitted questions and discusses things like:   What's the role of the betrayed partner? What level of guardrails should we set up- should the betrayed partner have access to all the passwords? What are the empathy and restitution letters?  What if the addict is doing the "right things" but feels resentful?  If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 c...

Sheila Gregoire is the author of 11 books including the Great Sex Rescue and The Marriage You Want. She hosts the Bare Marriage podcast and you can connect with her and her resources at  https://baremarriage.com   A few things we discuss in todays episode:   Sheilas statement in her book "The Marriage you want" - 'The problem with sex in Christian relationships isn't so much the absence of good te...

In this episode Kylene shares her history of body image issues, how she has chosen to work towards radically accepting herself at everyone, and what that looks like in terms of her thinking and mindsets around aging.    Image and comparison is a common trigger for many betrayed partners. We hope this episode is encouraging and reminds you that you are valuable, worthy and beautiful exactly as you...

ADHD may impact you, your partner or your coupleship in the recovery journey. In today's episode Kylene talks about ADHD in general, how ADHD may impact the addict in recovery, how ADHD may impact the betrayed partner through recovery and of course, what are some things to consider that may be supportive for the recovery journey if you have ADHD.    Free ADHD in Recovery PDF based on this episode...

Recovery resources can range from free to being comparable to the down payment of a home. In today's episode we highlight the recommended steps towards healing and how each can be utilized with various budgets - even FREE!    FREE DOWNLOAD with todays episode:  https://canva.link/dfsa8m7g7w0ni3g   What's MORE important than the money you spend, is where your heart and priorities lie in relation to...

In today's episode, Patrick discusses why betrayed partners feel so hurt by the betrayal.    If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call:  https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at  www. RecoverUcoaching.com   Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     ...

Marriage is a (hopefully) lifelong commitment to partnering with another human, sharing space with their nervous system and navigating life's challenges together. In today's episode we share some questions we think are really important to consider when deciding if you are ready to make that commitment.   If you would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and...

In today’s episode Patrick shares how life feels different since he’s been in recovery. He appreciates the little things, enjoys life, and feels so much more calm navigating the day to day.    We believe that everyone is capable of achieving recovery and we share episodes like this as encouragement for what a fulfilled life can look like when we put in the work.   If you are a betrayed partner and...

Shame is often discussed in a way that may be easy to label it as "bad". But just like every other emotion, shame isn't inherently wrong and it exists for a purpose. In today's episode, we share some thoughts around the emotion of shame, when it serves a beneficial purpose, and when it can become unhelpful. We also explore what deeper levels of healing may be available beyond simply trying to resi...

In this week's episode Kylene talks about the difference between a desire to control vs setting healthy boundaries. She often sees betrayed partners struggle to set boundaries from a fear of being too controlling.    Today she breaks down the difference, offers some examples, and encourages youtube use your voice and reach out for support when you need it!    If you are a betrayed partner and woul...

In today’s Episode Patrick shares the healing advice that he finds himself sharing most often with men who want deeper recovery in their lives. Including: The greatest gifts you can give to your loved ones is the most healed version of yourself Take Responsibility  Your betrayed spouse is not required to hold your emotions This process is a long one Read the book Unwanted by Jay Stringer Use the t...

Trigger Warning: This episode mentions child on child sexual abuse, child sexual absue material, and the duggar family scandals. Please listen with awareness. We live in a sexually broken world. It seems like we are hearing new scandals breaking weekly where an adult has harmed children or a child has been hurt by another child.  Today we are exploring how negative beliefs, often within extremely...

Raquell Barton helps moms move through the divorce process with power, peace, and preparedness, so they can maximize what they get and minimize stress, while they rebuild a future that’s better than before. Sometimes divorce IS the healthy choice. Just like all things in life, we need support. Raquel is here to support you as you navigate the process. Learn more at www.herdivorceacademy.com   Foll...

We all see people who transform their lives over time. What are the mindsets that help them accomplish these big changes? In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss 5 healing mindsets that set you up for success and growth.   If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call:  https://p.bttr.to/3...

We all use coping mechanisms sometimes. To escape, to offer some distraction or to feel more calm. Coping mechanisms aren't always inherently bad - but they CAN be when they cause distress, don't solve the problem or avoid providing us with the real solution to a problem.   In todays episode, Kylene discusses how coping mechanisms show up, how to identify what they offer, and think through replace...

Betrayed partners are left spinning after discovering their life isn't what they thought it was. The What's NEXT online, self-led, course is designed to walk you through the foundational steps to help you create safety and stability after discovering your partner is a sex/porn addict or has had an affair.   This course provides you with real life tangible tools that help you: Connect to safe provi...

Whether you are navigating a divorce, or know someone who might be, Olivia offers support before during and after.  On today’s episode she shares how navigating her divorce kickstarted an idea for a divorce registry and how since then it has turned into a full service divorce business offering FREE resources to those who need support.   Even if YOU are not navigating divorce, we hope you’ll give t...

In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick answer a listener's question about what they can expect when it comes to their partner treating them more kindly as they navigate recovery. If the selfish behavior is related to their trauma, can we expect that behavior to change?    Check out the brand new website:  www.recoverucoaching.com     If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kyl...

In this episode Kylene and Patrick are celebrating 5 years in recovery! They are sharing their thoughts about surprises in recovery, grief through recovery, and advice they would retroactively give themselves.    We hope this episode brings hope and encouragement to you on your healing journey!    If you would like to see Patrick's Moments of Grace:  https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1CvhNCr4T2/  ...

In this final part of the "now what?" series, Kylene and Patrick discuss what steps a coupleship can take when moving towards recovery or reconciliation after betrayal.   This includes, establishing safety, increasing and improving communication, engaging in the tools we have covered in the past 3 episodes, and giving it the time needed. Healing takes time, and the brain and nervous system need ti...

Today's episode is a continuation of last week's episode supporting a betrayed partner immediately after discovery. Last week we focused on tangible action steps like connecting to a specialized coach or therapist and setting early boundaries.    This week, we are discussing mental, emotional and relational things to think through early on after discovery including having compassion on your emotio...