RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Betrayal Recovery, Porn Addiction Recovery, Relationships, Infidelity

We often don't understand something until we have hands on experience. With betrayal trauma, kind, loving family members and friends may not fully understand the depth of. the paint betrayed partner is feeling. Or, they may have an idea of the level of pain experienced, but not really know how to support them effectively. This episode is designed to be sent to friends and family who want to learn...

Navigating holidays, romantic dates, and really any significant date or experience the first year of recovery can be so tough. How can we navigate romantic holidays and especially valentines day and anniversaries is a common question you might be facing.   In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick offer 3 suggestions for ways you might choose to celebrate days like Valentines day after you've discove...

What is my responsibility as the betrayed partner and as a believer to confront my husband about his porn use? This is a question Kylene received in her RecoverU Facebook group for betrayed partners. Patrick and Kylene answer this questions and Patrick shares his perspective about hitting the 3 year in recovery milestone.   Resources from todays episode: Books:  The Great Sex Rescue:  https://a.co...

How do I know when to stay or when to go? Is divorce the end of the world? Should I reconcile with my partner? How do I know what the "right" decision is?   In today's episode Kylene shares her personal story as two examples of when  divorce was absolutely healthy and why, and when reconciliation was healthy and why. She hopes that by sharing her personal story and by breaking it down for each rel...

Can I trust someone who has cheated on me?  Honesty is one of the biggest sticking points for a betrayed partner - its absolutely necessary in order to rebuild trust and safety in a relationship. Honesty requires personal conviction order to "stick". Someone has to personally believe and accept that it's really important in order to change their behavior if they have a history of deceitful behavio...

Have you ever noticed you can feel "off" around someone? Or maybe it's more noticeable when you spend time with someone you gives you energy... Humans emit different frequencies, so that "vibe" you get from people is a real thing! Authenticity is the most powerful and most attractive frequency humans emit. And this happens when the inside matches the outside. When what we say and think matches wha...

Recovery is one of the hardest things you will go through whether you are the spouse recovering from betrayal trauma or the spouse recovering from sex/porn addiction. Is reconciliation and recovery worth it?   In todays episode, Kylene and Patrick share 5 things recovery has given them as they close the year 2023 and come close to hitting their 3 year mark in recovery together.   If you are a betr...

Painful, difficult, and overwhelming emotions are a natural part of recovery (and life!) It's important that we have tools and resources to navigate them safely and when we don't react in the healthiest way, that we engage in retroactive self reflection to helps us as we continue moving forward.   In todays episode Kylene and Patrick share their personal experiences with this as well as leaving yo...

Every has stories that they tell themselves - lies we subconsciously believe that impact how we think, feel, and live life. In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick identify some of the most common lies and how we can reframe our thinking, and choose a different path to begin living into. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this...

How do I know sex addiction isn't all about sex? How do I know he really loves me? How do I know I can trust again? How do I know my sex/porn addict husband is really in recovery?   Patrick and Kylene share their personal story as well as generalized answers to these questions to help you feel secure and confident in your own recovery journey as a betrayed partner.   If you are a betrayed partner...

Are you a recovering sex/porn addict who is scared to go to therapy? We get it! Meet Charles Roberts, one of our TaraHope coaches, and Patricks former recovery therapist!  In today’s episode we share Charles’ focus on the compassionate model of recovery and why compassion, empathy and support through recovery is so important.   We would be so honored if you consider supporting us with a donation t...

Meet Jackie Newman, one of our TaraHope coaches!  Today’s episode is all about disclosure, why it’s so important and some big things to consider.   Listen to our disclosure story in episode 2 here:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/2-disclosure-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/id1674653111?i=1000602271374   We would be so honored if you consider supporting us with a donation to TaraHope to direc...

Meet Kim Hansen, one of our TaraHope coaches!  Today’s episode is focusing on the importance of self care after betrayal.   We would be so honored if you consider supporting us with a donation to TaraHope to directly contribute to the scholarship (1:1 sessions with a TaraHope coach) of a betrayed partner!  If you haven’t already listened to the episode where we introduce Tara Hope Alliance please...

Making amends is an important step for anyone who has engaged in harmful or addictive patterns. In today's episode Kylene and Patrick share their perspective on making amends as well as specific way they are choosing to give back. (see below for more details and a link to participate!)   If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this...

How do I navigate triggers around the holidays? Family, friends, stress, business and overwhelm!!! The holidays can bring a lot of joy, but for a couple in recovery it can lawyers bring a lot of stress and triggers.   In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick share specific tips and steps you can proactively engage in together or individually to help you navigate the busy holiday season as a recoveri...

The opposite of addiction is connection. Have you ever heard that phrase?  This is one of the primary reasons that engaging in a community that relates to your story, understands what you're feeling AND has a positive mindset around recovery and true healing, can be absolutely critical in your healing journey. For a betrayed partner, connecting with women who understand can feel so reassuring. For...

Are habits difficult for you to create? Don't worry, Kylene can relate!  Or are you a master of consistency? Patrick is right there with you! In today's episode, Patrick and Kylene share the importance of healthy habits and how they can impact your recovery in a positive way. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and bo...

We are all a little afraid of the unknown. Thats' just human. What happens if I stay with my husband and he relapses? What happens if we get divorced? "What if" is often one of the scariest questions we can ask, because there is no surefire way to predict the future and know the answer. In this episode Kylene shares why releasing control can actually be more empowering and freeing than trying to h...

Forgiveness is incredibly difficult after betrayal. It can also be difficult for an addict to forgive themselves after betraying themselves, their partner, and causing so much pain. And yet, forgiveness of self and others is unimportant part of the healing experience. Today's episode is a short visualization/meditation on forgiveness. We encourage you not to listen while you drive, but to find a q...

Many betrayed partners have experienced pressure to forgive quickly or felt one of the following: How could I ever forgive my husband after he cheated on me?  I want to forgive, but I just....can't! Forgiveness after betrayal is both difficult, and often misunderstood. There are so many cultural, religious or personal beliefs that we unconsciously mix up into forgiveness soup - and this can cause...

Is it possible to rebuild trust after betrayal? How can I trust my partner after they had a sex or porn addiction? Trust is shattered after discovery and betrayal. It's truly the foundation of safety that allows a relationship to build upon and when it's gone, it takes significant time and effort to create it again.   Kylene and Patrick continue to share their personal story around this topic as w...

If you are a betrayed spouse and have ever asked the following questions, this episode is for you! What do I do when my husband is deleting everything and turning his life over to God? What do I do if I think my partner has an addiction but I don't have proof? How do I navigate D-day anniversary or wedding anniversaries?    In this episode, Kylene and Patrick and your questions, and share practica...

Have you ever found yourself the position to ask the questions: I just discovered my husband texting other women - what do I do? Or, I just discovered infidelity, what do I do next? Getting connected to helpful resources quickly can make the biggest difference in recovery for BOTH partners. Patrick and Kylene talk about how to approach this situation when it comes up in your relationship and below...

Why should I go to therapy or do any healing work when this is my husband's problem?  Almost every betrayed partner has had that thought shortly after discovery. In today's episode, Kylene shares 3 reasons that a betrayed partner should actively engage in her own healing, even though she wasn't the one that did anything wrong and how that can help her individual healing as well as the healing of t...

I just discovered my husband looking at pornography- what dod I do? The importance of connecting to safe, effective, and knowledgeable resources right away after discovery is invaluable for both the betrayed partner and the sex/porn addict. In this episode Patrick and Kylene discuss effective resources and include the most common links they recommend using to get started below. For addict: 1) Find...