Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy

In this episode Ellen discusses the deep connection between sex and prayer. She implements the teachings of the Catechism, arguing that just as prayer cannot be reduced to spontaneous desire but requires an active will, sex should also not be reduced to spontaneous physical desire. She encourages listeners to recognize the depth of sexual relations as an experience of unity and not just physical s...

This podcast, led by Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chavones, discusses the challenges of sticking to Natural Family Planning (NFP) during instances of limited fertile days and mandatory abstinence due to serious medical or financial constraints. It emphasizes how suffering and sacrifice are crucial elements of the Christian journey. They tackle the often-perceived unfairness of NFP, clarifying how b...

This episode focuses on the emotional complexities of initiating sex within a Catholic marriage, emphasizing the importance of understanding individual desires and the associated vulnerabilities. Through an in-depth discussion, Ellen addresses various misconceptions about physical desire and urges couples to explore deeper emotional and spiritual desires and how it relates to sexual intimacy. Help...

Mike 'Gomer' Gormley joins host Ellen as they discuss the detrimental effects of sexual passivity on marriage and ways to overcome it. Gomer provides valuable insights from a male perspective, emphasizing the importance of sexual initiation, communication, respect, and genuine love in maintaining a healthy sex life and marriage. The duo takes a deep dive into topics such as the significa...

In this podcast episode, Ellen addresses the challenge of navigating sex within a marriage, particularly from a Catholic perspective. She discusses a situation where a couple put such heavy emphasis on the religious significance of sex that it led to tension and avoidance, reducing their sexual encounters drastically. Ellen proposes that adding a sense of fun and lightness to one's sex life c...

In this podcast Ellen, discusses the idea of women becoming gatekeepers of sex in a relationship, specifically within the context of a Catholic marriage and family planning. In conversation with guest Grace Stark, editor for Natural Womanhood, they suggest that the issue can be seen as an issue of communication rather than a power struggle. They discuss ways to foster stronger communication, and t...

In this episode, hosts Ellen and Kathleen talk about lessons they wish they knew on their wedding night. They highlight the importance of open communication, and understanding the depth and holiness of sex within marriage, and how it goes beyond just fulfilling an urge. They emphasize the need to translate the intellectual understanding of the sanctity of sex to the heart. Both share their insight...

In this episode, we discuss the common scenario of feeling too tired for marital intimacy. We'll talk about the importance of identifying the root cause, be it a heavy workload, miscommunication, or simply needing more sleep. Here's some of the big takeaways: understand each other's perspectives, engage in active communication, take a fresh look at sex, viewing it not as a chore but...

Ellen is joined by Dr. Sarah Bartel for part 2 of their conversation on licit and illicit acts. The episode focuses primarily on pornography, sex manuals, sex therapy, and imaginative role-play in marriage. They stress the importance of respecting both the unitive and procreative functions of sex in Catholic teaching. Please go listen to the episode prior to this one titled Sex Toys, Lingerie, and...

Ellen discusses sex and intimacy within the confines of Catholic marriage with guest Dr. Sarah Bartel. The primary focus is on demystifying varying questions related to sexual acts in Catholic marriage, ensuring they respect both the procreative and unitive aspects of sex. These include discussions on topics as varied as the use of sex toys, wearing lingerie, and the acceptance of different sexual...

Ellen and Kathleen are discussing on how to overcome despair and struggles associated with intimacy in a marriage. They emphasize that giving in to despair only strengthens the negative forces affecting our lives. They stress the importance of holding onto faith and prayer, and provide tips for dealing with difficult periods. ___________________________________ Ready to stop avoiding sex and actua...

We're talking about why recording sexual encounters between spouses is not in line with the Catholic understanding of marital intimacy. The discussion explores the sanctity of sex within marriage, emphasizing the importance of privacy and mutual self-gift. Ultimately, the episode underscores the importance of present commitment and love in sexual relationships rather than objectifying and rec...

Ellen and Kathleen discuss a myriad of assumptions women often make about sex, how they negatively impact one's sex life, and how to overcome them. They delve into the concepts of responsive and spontaneous desires, discuss misconceptions about men and women's sexual needs, emphasize the importance of communication in sex, and highlight that sex is an individualized experience, unique to...

Ever been stuck during arousal because you hit a plateau and you don't know what happens next? This episode is for you. Ellen outlines two main models for understanding and navigating female sexual arousal in this episode. Masters and Johnson's four-phase linear model , which is applicable for both men and women, includes excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Basson's cyclica...

Ellen and Kathleen discuss the topic of finding peace when sex and family planning don't go as planned. They delve into how controlling sexual outcomes can hinder the freedom and fullness that are inherent in marital intimacy. They suggest that recognizing the divine role in every sexual act and outcome, and surrendering the need for control, can lead to peace in family planning, even when th...

In this episode, Ellen discusses the virtue of patience, particularly in the context of sex, marital intimacy, and pregnancy. She explores the connection between patience and our spiritual, emotional well-being and offers practical tips to make waiting more bearable. Her key messages underline that patience is a stepping stone to holiness and is not a burden. She emphasizes the need to embrace pat...

In this episode of 'Charting Toward Intimacy', Ellen is joined by Kathleen's husband Michael. We'll explore how couples should handle disagreements on Natural Family Planning (NFP). We delve into varying perspectives on the justifiable reasons for using NFP, and consider the implications when one spouse does not agree with its use. The conversation covers the importance of effe...

"I like spontaneity when it comes to sex, scheduled sex just seems too bland or routine" "Sex shouldn't be something you have to schedule a good sex life just happens" "If you schedule sex then you take out all the fun of it" These are all lies and awful ones at that. In this episode we're going to talk about why the idea of spontaneous sex is really not the...

Feeling like you're in a rut? Looking for some suggestion on how to get out of said rut? This is the episode for you. Ellen and Kathleen share from personal experience some of the best ways to get out of a sex rut. The course or guide mentioned in this episode is no longer sold, but the help you’re looking for is still available. If you want support improving your sex life while staying faith...

Touched Out and Bristle Touch. These are the two types of negative reactions to touch that we are talking about on the podcast today. We'll explain what those two things are and give you tips to combat them! ___________________________________ Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it and Enjoy it now and join the next round! Did we mention a book on this...

Kesey Skoch joins us this week to talk about how our oversexualized culture is hurting our marriages, especially in the form of pornography. We talk about the real definition of pornography and how most of us have been exposed to pornography way more than we even realize. To hear Kelsey's story or get more information on how to be free, click here. The course or guide mentioned in this episod...

How was your sex education? Probably bad and not enough. In this episode we are diving into what is needed today in the church for adults: authentically Catholic sex education. We'll talk about what that is, where to find it, and why it's needed. The course or guide mentioned in this episode is no longer sold, but the help you’re looking for is still available. If you want support improv...

We are answering a listener question in a full episode this week. We got a question about pregnancy sex and how it works with all the hormones, things feeling different, and positions. Listen in for tips ranging from positions to emotional support broken down by trimester. ___________________________________ Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it and Enjoy...

Do you initiate regularly? If you don't, we think you should. But believe us, we're not sitting on our high thrones looking down on you with this topic, we're right there in the thick of getting more comfortable initiating ourselves. In this episode we're talking a little bit about why you should initiate more often, the conversations you need to have with your husband BEFORE y...

People pleasers and rule followers unite! We're talking about breaking the NFP rules in this episode and what that looks like for your marriage, potential pregnancies, and how your NFP instructor really doesn't care if you're choosing to break the rules. But also, if you "break the rules" meaning you use days within your fertile window, you should fully expect a possible p...