Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy

Ellen and Kathleen discuss the crucial role of empathy in relationships, particularly in the context of a married sexual relationship. They emphasize the importance of understanding and sharing the feelings of one's spouse, navigating differences in sexual desire, and the necessity of communication and compromise. The episode highlights that empathy is essential for both partners and stresses...

In this episode, Ellen explores the complex concept of shame in the context of sex and intimacy for Catholic women. Drawing insights from St. John Paul II's "Love and Responsibility," she discusses the dual nature of shame—its protective aspect to prevent objectification, and its role in seeking true love. Ellen delves into how positive shame safeguards intimacy, while emphasizing t...

In this episode Ellen and Kathleen delve into the highly requested topic of knowing when it's the right time to stop avoiding pregnancy and start trying to conceive. They explore the differences between the two approaches and discuss the beautiful openness couples can experience. Emphasizing a faith-based perspective, they talk about discerning God's will, the significance of prayer, and...

In this episode Ellen delves into the common marital issue of differing sex drives between spouses. Ellen emphasizes that every couple faces this problem at some point and highlights the importance of understanding the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire. She offers actionable advice on dealing with these differences, including improving communication, managing stress, ensuring ad...

In this episode I (Ellen) am joined by my husband Kurt to discuss the challenges we faced during the first year of our marriage, primarily focusing on our struggles with sex due to acute vaginismus and poor communication. We delve into how these issues affected our relationship, what we learned about the physical and mental aspects of sex, and how we ultimately overcame these challenges. We also i...

The course or guide mentioned in this episode is no longer sold, but the help you’re looking for is still available. If you want support improving your sex life while staying faithful to Catholic teaching, I invite you to explore Want It and Enjoy It , my current program for Catholic wives. In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway is joined by Christina Walsh, co-owner of Tighte...

In this episode Ellen  and Kathleen dive into the complexities of maintaining a healthy sex life during family vacations. They discuss practical tips for navigating shared living spaces, the importance of sustaining intimacy without sex, and creative ways to find private moments with your spouse. The conversation also covers how to handle charting for Natural Family Planning (NFP) while out of rou...

In this episode host Ellen Holloway delves into the topic of oral stimulation. Ellen explains the church's teachings on what is permissible and how oral stimulation fits into moral boundaries as foreplay leading to intercourse. Highlighting the importance of both male and female sexual pleasure, she clarifies that while female orgasm can occur during oral stimulation, male ejaculation must ha...

Trying new positions can be a lot! Maybe you're not sure how to approach the conversation or you don't even know any other positions to try. This week, Ellen and Kathleen talk all things trying new positions in the bedroom! The course or guide mentioned in this episode is no longer sold, but the help you’re looking for is still available. If you want support improving your sex life while...

In this episode Ellen delves into why there isn't a checklist for sexual pleasure in marriage and why that's a good thing. She discusses the theological perspectives on the human body and sexual pleasure, emphasizing the opportunity for couples to learn and grow through the newness of each intimate encounter. Ellen encourages couples to embrace the mystery and discovery in their sexual r...

In this episode  Ellen and Kathleen discuss the nuances of grooming and shaving the genital area from a Catholic perspective. They address common questions around the morality of grooming, reasons people choose to groom, and the purpose of genital hair. The episode also covers the importance of communication between spouses about grooming preferences, realistic expectations versus those influenced...

Today Ellen is answering a question from Instagram: My husband really resists oral, but sex has been painful for me. He's really rough. I spoke up and there's been no change.  As you can see there are a lot of facets to this question and we cover it all in this episode! ___________________________________ Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it and...

In this week's episode Kathleen and Ellen talk about some common elements of lingerie. They discuss both personal preferences as well as how certain elements can fit well for certain body types or seasons of life (like postpartum or pregnant bodies!) We talk through some pieces specifically on the Mentionables website . While we reference specific pieces the conversation is tailored to style...

Ellen  addresses the struggle many women face in transitioning from their busy day to intimate moments with their spouse. Highlighting the inherent multitasking nature of women's brains, Ellen introduces the '10-minute unwind' as a method to help focus and prepare for intimacy. The course or guide mentioned in this episode is no longer sold, but the help you’re looking for is still...

In this episode, Ellen and Kathleen delve into the distinction between Natural Family Planning (NFP) and contraception, addressing common questions and concerns from a Catholic perspective. They explore the theological significance of sex, the church's stance on NFP versus contraception, and how these practices reflect one's relationship with God's will. The discussion covers the ph...

In this episode Ellen discusses how couples can handle differing levels of comfort with sexual acts. She emphasizes the importance of communication, respecting each other's boundaries, and defaulting to the less comfortable spouse to maintain a loving and trusting relationship. She provides guidance on how to navigate situations where one partner is uncomfortable, suggesting that saying no is...

In this episode Ellen and Kathleen explore the topic of chastity within marriage, emphasizing that chastity goes beyond merely abstaining from sex. They discuss the deep and abundant grace available through the sacrament of marriage and how living out chastity can enhance marital intimacy and union. The conversation covers the Catechism's teachings on chastity for all baptized individuals, re...

 In this episode Ellen shares a personal revelation about finding God's presence and grace in the imperfections of married life and liturgical celebrations. Despite her initial frustration with less-than-perfect liturgies during the Easter Triduum, Ellen is reminded through prayer that God's grace is not limited by human imperfections. She draws a parallel between her experience with lit...

This episode focuses on the common issue among couples regarding the disparity in sex drives, a topic frequently brought up by listeners. We propose a perspective shift, suggesting couples view these differences as blessings that can forward the relationship and increase intimacy.  ___________________________________ Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want it a...

In this episode, the focus is on the church's teachings regarding manual stimulation and masturbation within the context of marriage. We'll go through basically all of the different scenarios of manual stimulation from masturbation to stimulating the other person. The course or guide mentioned in this episode is no longer sold, but the help you’re looking for is still available. If you w...

In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen and Kathleen tackle the challenge of internalized purity culture and its impact on women's sexual thoughts. They discuss the phenomenon where healthy sexual desires within the context of marriage are mistakenly treated as intrusive thoughts due to purity culture's teachings. The discussion includes defining intrusive thoughts, sharing pe...

In this episode we'll address the misconception among individuals practicing Natural Family Planning (NFP) that their sexual desire only peaks during the fertile window due to hormonal influences.  Listen in to see what you really need to change to experience more desire for sex! ___________________________________ Ready to stop avoiding sex and actually enjoy it? Join the waitlist for Want i...

This episode addresses the complexities and challenges couples face regarding postpartum sex. The episode covers the expectations, fears, and physical changes women and their partners might experience, emphasizing the importance of communication, understanding, and patience. Techniques such as perineal massage and the use of lubricants are suggested to ease discomfort and anxiety during postpartum...

Ellen addresses the common pursuit of perfectionism in marriage and sexual relationships, emphasizing that perfection is not a prerequisite for intimacy or spiritual growth. She discusses how striving for a perfect relationship or sexual encounter can be paralyzing, whereas embracing the imperfection can lead to significant growth, healing, and a deeper bond. Trial, error, and grace-filled perseve...

In this episode of 'Charting Toward Intimacy', Kathleen and Ellen discuss the misconception of sex being a love language. They explain that sex should be a result of love and intimacy rather than the base of it, and argue that using sex as the glue that holds a relationship together creates a false expectation and could become unfulfilling over time. The five love languages - words of af...