Qualified Nonsense

Qualified Nonsense

Comedy EN ↓ 146 episodes

Qualified Nonsense is a podcast wherein lifelong friends aim to answer life's pressing, and not-so-pressing, questions using their lived experiences and insight in a fun and less-than-qualified manner.

Author

Qualified Nonsense

Category

Comedy

Podcast website

rss.com

Latest episode

Jul 6, 2026

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Episodes

Take Me Down to the Very Last City & Pumping Iron 28.06.2023

CHECK OUT OUR NEW PATREON AND CONSIDER BECOMING A PATRON: patreon.com/QualifiedNonsense First off, we apologize for a technical issue late in the episode. We lost Matt's audio for the last 15 minutes or so of the episode, so it is a little shorter than normal. In the episode, we talk about tie dyeing, Jake's new job, painting, homebrewing, 'Asteroid City', IMAX, 'Severance', phrases we have learne...

The Truth is Out There & Breakfast of Champions 21.06.2023

CHECK OUT OUR NEW PATREON AND CONSIDER BECOMING A PATRON: patreon.com/QualifiedNonsense In this episode, we take on a new format by talking about things we can do as adults that we couldn't as children, UFOs, aliens, the universe, what we make for breakfast, homebrewing, the Flemish language, edibles, and more! Please send any questions or comments to: qualifiednonsense@gmail.com and don't forget...

Kids Say the Darndest $#!% & Pick Up Artists Everywhere 14.06.2023

CHECK OUT OUR NEW PATREON AND CONSIDER BECOMING A PATRON: patreon.com/QualifiedNonsense This week, we talk about our thoughts on kids swearing and swearing in general, a listener encountering frequent harassment in public, if we would make good spies, our favorite childhood video games, to kill or not to kill bugs, and more! Things we've consumed that were discussed in the episode: Foster's Key Li...

Smokers Are Jokers & Fear of Flying 07.06.2023

This week, we talk about tips for quitting smoking, tackling a fear of flying, types of noodles, if we'd rather be in jail or a coma, our favorite quotes, whether we'd like a long boring life or short and exciting one, and more! Things we've consumed that were discussed in the episode: TikTok Chef Jesse Jenkins AKA @adip_food (Jake) Tumwater Vineyard (Matt) Dice Stack (Brandon) Please send your ad...

Don't Open a Restaurant & Summer Vacation 31.05.2023

This episode is posting on Matt's birthday, so HBD, Matt! In this week's show, we talk about the pros and cons of opening your own restaurant, summer vacation ideas for a teacher, humanity's worst quality, whether we'd rather lose our sight or our memories, things that give us hope for the future, and more! Things we've consumed that were discussed in the episode: Knife sharpening (Jake) 'Women' b...

Death Stalks You at Every Turn & Boring Coworkers 24.05.2023

This week, we discuss near-death experiences and whether we felt changed after them, dealing with boring coworkers, morning vs evening showers, condiments, lessons learned from our parents, and more! Things we've consumed that were discussed in the episode: 'Bake Off: The Professionals' (Jake) Hot Mustard Doritos (Matt) Hendricks Park Rhododendron Garden in Eugene, OR (Brandon) Please send your ad...

How to Get Your Groove Back & Rise of the Machines 17.05.2023

In this episode, we cover the challenges associated with artificial intelligence in the workplace, rekindling the spark in a busy marriage, our bucket list vacations, which thing we would want unlimited supplies of, which language we would learn in a week, and more! Things we've consumed that were discussed in the episode: Shin Ramen (Jake) Turquoise ring from Antiques & Art on Main in Pendlet...

Cancel Me, Bro & Undesirable Climates 10.05.2023

In this week's show, we cover what would need to happen in order for us to move to an undesirable location, our thoughts on cancel culture, 'Labyrinth', tall clothing, our recent search histories, planning pranks, celebrity deaths, and more! Things we've consumed that were discussed in the episode: Wingspan board game (Jake) True Classic t-shirts (Matt) 'Barry' (Brandon) 'John Wick' (Brandon) Plea...

Getting Familiar with Familiars & Family Pets 03.05.2023

Apologies in advance for the audio issues in this episode. We had some internet delays which caused some of the audio to lag, so please bear with us. In this week's show, we cover the concept of a familiar and tasks we would give our familiars, types of pets that are best for families, black and white film, the fastest way to our hearts, things we wish we liked more, fresh vs fried food, and more!...

Our Favorite Murders & Advice for Our Younger Selves 26.04.2023

In this episode, we cover advice we'd give our younger selves, our favorite crimes and conspiracies, our favorite vices, favorite summer pastimes, things we wish we were proficient at, getting railed in a sundress, and more! Things we've consumed that were discussed in the episode: French Yogurt Cake (Jake) Feit Electric Light Bulbs (Matt) 'Post Office' by Charles Bukowski (Brandon) Please send in...

OnlyFans Heartaches & Staying Organized 19.04.2023

This week, we discuss: a spouse discovering an old OnlyFans account, how we stay organized, fear of flying, which Disney character we identify with, wiping etiquette, summers vs winters, and more! Things we've consumed that were discussed in the episode: Saltbox Seafood Joint (Jake) North Carolina Travels (Matt) H-Mart (Matt) Suspenders (Brandon) Please send in an advice question to: qualifiednons...

Office Bullies & Midlife Reflections 12.04.2023

In this episode, we cover: how to deal with an office bully, reflections accomplishments when approaching midlife, if we've ever been in fights, camping vs glamping, tapas or pasta, anagrams, March Madness, and more! Things we've consumed discussed in the episode: Thee Lakesiders (Jake) 'Creepshow' Graphic Novel (Brandon) March Madness bracket (Matt) Please send in an advice question to: qualified...

The Naked Truth & Life After High School 05.04.2023

This week, we discuss: nudity and why there are so many hang ups surrounding it, reflections on personal growth since high school, judging others based on your conception of them in the past, if there's an afterlife, personal taboos, what we wanted to be after high school, and more! Things we've consumed discussed in the episode: Drinks by the Dram (Jake) Hari Kondabolu stand-up (Brandon) 'Purple...

Three Podcasters Walk Into a Bar... 29.03.2023

WARNING: This episode gets quite blue. Listener discretion is advised as we discuss: jokes (both the clean, dirty, and filthy kind), accidents and injuries, our first jobs, people we would trade places with, things that make us happy and more! Things we've consumed discussed in the episode: Vinyl Vehicle Wraps (Matt) '9 to 5: The Musical' (Brandon) 'Newsies' (Jake) Museum of Life & Science in...

Bad Baby Names & Limiting Screen Time 22.03.2023

In this episode, we discuss: ways to limit screentime for yourself, things NOT to name your new baby, some funny real-world names, which animal we would be, hot tubs vs saunas vs cold plunges, the things we think about before going to sleep, and more! Things we've consumed discussed in the episode: Dashi Ramen (Jake) 'Lockwood & Co.' (Jake) 'I Vitelloni' (Brandon) 'Drive to Survive' (Matt) Cra...

Teenagers Scare the Living Sh*t Out of Me & The Boss 15.03.2023

This week, we cover topics such as: motivating teens to do chores, motivating ourselves to get healthier this year, our favorite weather, music genres, skydiving, and more! Things we've consumed discussed in the episode: 'Abbott Elementary' (Jake) Same Same restaurant (Brandon) Bruce Springsteen Concert (Matt) Please send in an advice question to: qualifiednonsense@gmail.com and don't forget to ra...

The Ballad of Boner Boy & Staying Thrifty 08.03.2023

It's our dirty 30! On this 30th episode, we cover how to get rid of a high school reputation, tips for saving money during "No Spend April", high school embarrassments, our favorite qualities about ourselves, visiting our hometown, our biggest mistakes and lessons learned from them, and more! Things we've consumed discussed in the episode: Tokyo Bananas (Jake) '80 For Brady' (Brandon) 'La Dolce Vi...

Magic Mushrooms & That's What She Said 01.03.2023

In this episode, we cover how to handle a problematic friend/coworker, repetitive jokes, AIM screen names, things we're looking forward to, our childhood dream jobs, and more! Things we've consumed discussed in the episode: Playing soccer with kids (Jake) Woodworking classes (Brandon) Mushrooms (Matt) Please send in an advice question to: qualifiednonsense@gmail.com and don't forget to rate, revie...

Farting in a Job Interview & Don't Mess With Texas 22.02.2023

This week, we get into topics like: tips for traveling to Texas and how to handle embarrassing situations like farting at a job interview. Plus, we cover Southern and Texas cuisine, discuss Texas geography poorly, autobiography titles, work from home setups, the best compliments we've received and more! Things we've consumed discussed in the episode: Pwnisher's YouTube Channel (Jake) 'Tár' (Brando...

Joining the Mile High Club & Home Maintenance 14.02.2023

In this episode, we get into topic like: tools needed for home maintenance, tips on whether or not to join the mile high club, the game 'No Thank You Evil', 'Poker Face', The Scarecrows, things we wish we were better at, zombie weapons of choice, how we'd spend our last day on earth, and more! Please send in an advice question to: qualifiednonsense@gmail.com and don't forget to rate, review, like...

Cyber Friendships & Dating with the Runs 08.02.2023

This week, we cover whether or not virtual friendships are as legitimate as in-person ones, getting diarrhea while on a date, DrLupo, 'That Texas Blood', sensory deprivation tanks, garden hose sprayers, the Third Place, toilet paper vs bidets, guilty pleasures, jury duty, and more! Please send in an advice question to: qualifiednonsense@gmail.com and don't forget to rate, review, like and subscrib...

Reconcilable Differences & Jackassery 01.02.2023

In this episode, we discuss settling minor arguments with your significant other, blind spots we have in pop culture, 'The Menu', 'Tulsa King', pottery classes, if we've ever gone viral online (including the time when Jake accidentally went viral in the adult fetish community), our favorite rainy day activities, things that consistently make us laugh, and more! Here's a link to the video we mentio...

Meatloaf & Lots of Fart Sound Effects 25.01.2023

On this week's episode, we finally figure out how to use a soundboard live on the show, and it gets abused immediately. Plus, we discuss a question related to Meatloaf's hit song, 'I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)', how to stay motivated at a hobby, gose beer, HBO's 'The Last of Us', 'The English', volcanoes, features we notice on others, our senses of style, and more! Please sen...

Video Game Addiction & No-Go Destinations 18.01.2023

This week we cover such topics as: video game addiction, places we would NOT like to travel to, Netflix's 'Wednesday', 'Babylon', trampoline parks, our least favorite beverages, favorite pizza toppings, places we go to be alone, and more! Please send in an advice question to: qualifiednonsense@gmail.com and don't forget to rate, review, like and subscribe on your podcast app of choice! Thanks for...

Loan Sharking to Friends & Beating the Winter Blues 11.01.2023

On this episode, we cover topics such as: the effects of lending money to friends, tips for combating seasonal depression, pizza, fried chicken, Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol', 'The Banshees of Inisherin', recent discoveries in the field of energy, landscapes we'd like to live in, childhood fears, and more! Please send in an advice question to: qualifiednonsense@gmail.com and don't forget to rate, r...

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