PsycHacks

Within every emotion is a behavioral impulse urging us to a specific action. However wise our emotions might be, it's also the case that it's certainly not always prudent to relent to every impulse they offer for our consideration. So how do we know when to "listen" to our feelings? The answer demands we pay attention to our degree of mastery within a specific domain. As a rule of thumb, the more...

"Persona 5" is one of the best RPGs of all time. In addition to the normal stats you'd find in a game of this genre, in "Persona 5" your character also possess social stats: measures of his level of mastery within the real world of social relationships. Throughout the game, the protagonist encounters social stat gatekeeping, in which certain jobs, relationships, and opportunities are withheld from...

If you're a young person and you talk with folks of an older generation, it's only a matter of time before one them tells you that your early 20s are "the best years of your life." Believing this to be true can create a lot of pressure in young folks to live life to the fullest before an inevitable decline into the various miseries of adulthood proper. But is this really the case? In today's episo...

When I was back at my theatre conservatory, the entire first year of acting class was devoted to a single exercise: the game of please-no. I've since come to understand that this game is the fundamental game of human interaction. In this episode, I will briefly describe how the game is played and what the game has to teach us about the nature of human relationships. The more masterful you become a...

In the moment before deciding to relapse into a bad habit, most people generally endorse some variant of the belief that "this time it will be different." No it won't. You've been down that road before -- hundreds, if not thousands, of times -- and you know where it takes you. That's because roads only go where they go. It's impossible for a fixed pathway to vary with respect to its destination. P...

Behind every feeling is a thought. And the thought that is primarily responsible for the feeling of anxiety generally begins with the words: what if? What if I lose my job? What if I get sick? What if she says 'no'? In this episode, I will discuss the most effective rebuttal to these anxiety-provoking thoughts: a replacement cognition that begins with the words so what? So what if the feared thing...

Bad things happen. Rather than abide in meaningless and malevolent universe, people create stories to make sense of what happened to them. However, these stories can either maintain a person in a traumatic posture or facilitate healing and resilience. Victim narratives -- in which the self is the object of another's action -- keep people stuck in the past. Hero narratives -- in which the self is t...

"Theory of mind" is a clunky term from psychology that basically means that we unconsciously (and inevitably) project the content and structure of our own consciousness into the minds of others. This is because assuming others are like us facilitates cooperation is essential to the survival of a social organism like man. However, this also means that whether we're surrounded by enemies or potentia...

While we live in a world of abundance, it is also the fact that the universe lives closed. This means that the default answer to any request is "no." This must obviously be the case, as a default answer of "yes" would imply a perfect world where all needs are satisfied and no action is necessary. That said, we can also become increasingly competent in mastering the strategies and technologies of a...

Other people represent both an opportunity to be seized and a problem to be solved. While most of us understand that we need other people for the fulfilment of our ends (opportunity), we also come to realize that other people are also in the perfectly inopportune position to frustrate those ends (problem). Most will consider our needs with indifference, criticism, or even cruelty. However, accepta...

Nobody likes being indecisive. So what can you do when you're having trouble making up your mind? The coin flip technique is a simple way to clarify our own emotional preferences: it's fast, free, and easy to use. In this episode, I discuss what the coin flip technique is and how to use your emotional reactions to effectively inform your decision-making process. Try it out for yourself!

It natural to seek after closure following the rupture of an important relationship. However, most folks make the mistake of seeking closure from the other person. This is a disempowering and (generally) ineffective strategy. On the other hand, if we seek closure in ourselves, then we have the option of taking our power back and regaining our agency. Closure occurs when we make the decision to mov...

In role playing games (RPGs), it's often the case that the side quests -- short, optional adventures on the path toward your ultimate goal -- can be more fun and interesting than the main story arc itself. Among other reasons, this is because they provide intermittent rewards that increase motivation toward long-term objectives. In this episode, I'll discuss how to identify appropriate side quests...

Whether in business or relationships, it is a good rule of thumb to never reject yourself. Rather, force the other party to expend the necessary energy to reject you. Doing so creates a cost barrier that de-incentivizes rejecting behavior. On the other hand, if you're not receiving negative feedback, then assume that you're on the right track. Though you may be pessimistic about your own chances,...

In an auction house, the lot goes to the highest bidder. In a very real sense, the highest bidder wins because no one else in the room believed the lot was worth that much. This means that the highest bidder almost certainly overpaid, and could have secured the same lot with fewer resources. The auction house is a useful analogy for work. In what ways might you be overpaying for your returns? In t...

If you traffic in Stoic philosophy, then the concept of memento mori -- a reminder of death -- should be familiar to you. In this episode, I discuss the two immediate, existential advantages to appreciating your own mortality on a regular basis. In the first place, remembering you will die should help you to prioritize the things that really matter. And, in the second place, this reminder should a...

Turning down an offer isn't always pleasant. However, learning how to do so with confidence is an essential skill in order to safeguard your time and energy. Unfortunately, many people devalue the currency of their wills by providing "reasons" why an acceptance is infeasible or impractical. Rather than leaving the door open to an unwanted counter-offer, try practicing an alternative strategy. Just...

In today's day and age, there is a lot of talk about "identity." However, who exactly is the "I" that is asserting its existence? In this episode, I'll discuss a simple thought exercise that will help you to determine where to draw the boundary between your true self and the rest of the universe. I will also briefly discuss how the logical conclusions of this exercise generally map onto the world'...

Most of us use the words "need" and "want" interchangeably. However, there are important differences between the two concepts that differentially impact our emotional experience. Since "need" is technically associated with survival, it carries with it the threat of extinction. As a result, "need" can transform a mundane task into a life-or-death struggle. If you suffer from generalized anxiety, ex...

One of the best credit sequences in the history of cinema comes at the end of Quentin Tarantino's "Kill Bill, Vol. 2." Among other things, it implicitly teaches an important life lesson: the vast majority of people will be indifferent to antagonistic to you. However, if you have just a couple of allies in your fight, you can overcome hordes of adversities and legions of difficulties

"Enough" is a quantity that does not exist in reality. So applying the modifier to other things -- enough money, enough achievement, enough power -- is technically inaccurate. Rather, "enough" is a concept that exists in our minds. It's a decision -- supported by an act of the will -- that our current circumstances are sufficient. Understanding this distinction opens the possibility for greater co...

What is the best virtue with which to approach life's difficulties? Should we always strive for safety? Or is being strong a better approach? "Safe, smart, brave, strong" is my personal mantra when I go on adventures in the wilderness. In this episode, I unpack the reasoning behind the progression of these virtues, and explain how this perspective can be generalized to other domains of life.

In the wake of a significant loss, it's human nature to search for meaning: "why did this happen?" And while this question can produce some useful answers, the process of questioning should always be limited and time-bounded. This is because no "why" questions have perfectly satisfying answers -- just "good enough" ones. In this episode, I'll talk about how to break out of the pattern of obsessive...

Some young people today harbor extremely negative beliefs about money. However, while money has been (and continues to be) used inappropriately, it is actually used constructively in the vast majority of cases. In this episode, I'll discuss how money is effectively utilized to incentivize altruism. It's a subtle trick of the mind by which we collectively transcend self-interest by appealing to sel...

As I've mentioned in previous episodes, values can be expensive. So are they worth it? In today's episode, I discuss the value of values, namely: their unrivaled capacity to serve as decision-making heuristics. By looking through the "lens" of a given value, incongruent pathways at the Crossroads of life are filtered out -- making it much easier to answer the eternal question: "what should I do?"