Primary Attribute Incorporated

The party's separated, one stranded on another plane as the other three hunt down a dangerous monster as part of a deal to save her. It's hard to tell which is more dangerous: a giant terrifying shapeshifting ooze monster or the emotional minefield of waking up in a strange universe where you're vividly confronted with the ghost of past tragedy. I might go for the giant ooze monster, honestly. Jye...

The party ventures further into this magma-filled cave, finding piles of gold and treasure out in the open for the taking. Sitting above it all, however, is a truly gorgeous urn. They should check it out... Grickx hums. Wealthy lays down in a field. Jyessi wields a dagger. Vons distrusts physical currency. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

In their quest to rid Wealthy of the creature infesting her bloodstream, the party ventures into a mysterious cave near the abandoned village. Fun fact: the ominous glow at the bottom of the stairs? Not just mood lighting! Wealthy snuffs someone out. Jyessi stomps on her shield. Vons goes inside the minimum safe distance. Grickx shows that chaos beats flame. Check us out online! We're https://www....

Wealthy stomps off into the swamp, leaving the rest of the party behind still asleep in their bedrolls. It's the middle of the night, and she's following people with torches, strange robes, and animal skull masks. I bet they're going to have a killer LAN party! Probably going to play Halo and everything! I know *I'm* jealous. Wealthy finally lets someone in. Jyessi cuts deep. Vons nabs a strange s...

The party settles down for an evening in the abandoned village and tries to get some sleep. They're shortly disturbed by creaking noises out in the dark. Let's investigate, gang! Grickx coos comfortingly. Jyessi shares her nickname. Vons makes cookies. Wealthy is led into temptation. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

The party ventures out to explore the island and check for any Corruption presence along the way. Treacherous terrain, strange animals, and mysteries await! Jyessi runs book club. Wealthy backs away from feathers. Vons tries to save versus hug. Grickx spots something with the setting sun's last light. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

The party's defeated the kraken, but they're not safe yet. The ship is taking on water as the storm continues to hammer away. Will they manage to save the ship? Or do they get to figure out just how long they can swim? Vons feels the pressure. Jyessi finds a perfect match. Grickx pitches. Wealthy is a beacon of hope. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

(The cast has had a lot of Life Stuff happen all at once recently, which has affected our recording schedule. So no standard episode this week, though fear not, those will be back soon! Instead we offer some fine, fine bonus content for your listening pleasure.) Once upon a time, an old elvish man with a very sharp mind and very poor relationship-building skills gave his granddaughter an assignmen...

The party battles a kraken on the high seas! Dives are done dramatically, swashes are buckled, and ships are battered and broken. Also: cephalopod snuggles! The Great Squirrello gets caught up in personal problems. Wealthy makes an opening. Vons practices proper potion safety. Jyessi wrangles a rodeo stunt. Grickx does some cetacean creatin'. Check us out onine! We're at https://www.primaryattribu...

The party arrives and Harper's Fleet and tries to negotiate passage to Aea. Their great and fearless leader pops in to help. Jyessi leaves her sea legs in her other pants. Grickx does a polar bear swim. Wealthy tangles with her old nemesis, gravity. Vons tries to make calamari. Squirrello regards fish with appropriate suspicion. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

The party goes off to find Harper's Fleet. They just have to take care of a few things before they leave. It goes about as smoothly as it does for most of us. Vons packs magic snacks. Grickx is ready to goooooo. Wealthy gets a health check. Jyessi's just so excited to be here. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

The party engages in some pharmaceutical testing. Or they will, if they can find their way back to base. Orienteering is hard! Vons causes immeasurable sadness. Grickx ruins a door. Wealthy turns down a prime offer. Jyessi hears something coming. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

The party works on plans for a new base and attempts to subdue a dangerous corrupted creature caught in their cunning trap. There's daring! There's danger! There's logistics! Jyessi uses a specialty tool. Grickx ties the knot. Wealthy suffers the Air Bud precedent. Vons makes draft picks. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

The party made it down to the ground, and now it's time to do research! And learn what the ocean smells like! Jyessi takes in the view. Grickx offers a ride. Wealthy doesn't think through all the angles. Vons feels secure. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

The party's beat up as hell, Grickx is a popsicle, and they're not sure what to do next. But there's a shiny object nearby! They should look at that. Grickx takes a deal. Wealthy finally uses her history lessons. Jyessi sets some boundaries. Vons doesn't learn. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

It's time for the party to head back down to the ground, and that means traveling through the maintenance tunnels and caverns below the city to reach a teleportation circle. The real question is: how many Arx-OSHA noncompliance tickets will they file before they get there? Vons takes decisive action. Jyessi does a press-up. Wealthy flaps her hands. Grickx is a chill dude. Check us out online! We'r...

It's time for our 2023 (Winter) Solstice Special! The party's been cursed with some last-minute gift shopping, and things quickly get even more complicated than the usual weighing of potential jail time versus your child's disappointment as you knife fight over the last Playstation. Grickx ruminates on loofahs. Vons engages in some 1st grade science. Jyessi points at a child. Wealthy does some fla...

The party encounters a prospective member! Will they recruit this new person? Or will the episode be a shaggy dog story? Ooh, the fake suspense! Grickx designs a game. Wealthy makes some space. Vons struggles with personal bias. Jyessi corrals children. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

It's time for the party to engage in everyone's favorite activity: mourning! They're going to throw a wake for Aracyne. And read the letters she wrote them in case of her death. Cheerfulness all around! Vons goes climbing. Grickx works the room. Wealthy gets support from an unlikely source. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com P.S. Ian feels the need to let y'all know the...

The party watches to see if even more familicide is in the cards tonight, conducts a cover up, raids a place for documents, and tries to do some emotional processing. Big night! Vons goes through someone's bag. Grickx provides an excellent Acting. Wealthy endorses a statement. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

The aftermath of the shipyard battle is a giant tangled mess, and it's up to our party to help detangle it. Or make the snarl worse. One of the two. There's no way Inspector Pearl will regret letting them get involved. Grickx is difficult. Vons assumes a certain kind of relationship. Wealthy gives a much-needed hug. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

The party's back together as Wealthy and Grickx return to the secret shipyard to save Vons, who's a little tied up at the moment. An altercation ensues. Illusions abound, missiles are magic'ed, and Vons pursues an old lady. No, not that kind of pursue. Grickx ramps up. Vons has fun with foam. Wealthy makes an unfortunate discovery. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

Wealthy and Grickx are cold and lost, and Vons is held captive by some truly awful people. They need to find a way out of their dire predicaments, and that might require some drastic measures. Grickx knows what a creek is like. Wealthy relinquishes legal authority. Vons calls on a friend. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

Shit gets real. Aracyne challenges authority. Grickx practices poor fire safety. Vons makes a pamphlet. Wealthy takes a leap of faith. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com

The party wakes up to find the Arx abandoned and slowly falling to the ground. It's not ideal! So they set forth to fix things and get the Arx back to normal, with the help of the most magical substance of all. Grickx laps up some milk. Wealthy gardens aggressively. Aracyne has an Entrapment moment. Vons blows someone's mind. Check us out online! We're at https://www.primaryattribute.com