Pretty and Painful

Episode 36: Today, the Cake Is Bitter Bitterness rarely arrives all at once. It starts with a broken promise, an unanswered apology, a betrayal, a loss, or a wound that never truly healed. Before long, the hurt we’ve been carrying begins to shape the way we see people, the way we love, and even the way we see ourselves. In this episode of Pretty & Painful, we’re having an honest conversation about...

🤍 Episode 35 | I Wish They Could See This I catch myself saying it all the time. “I wish they could see this.” The new doors God is opening. Choosing joy on the hard days. Walking away when it’s time. Beating cancer. The perfect peanut butter cookies. Even my ginger hair… which I’m still hoping heaven lets me keep. 😉 Grief has taught me something I never expected. The people we love don’t stop s...

Maybe birthdays after loss will never feel the way they used to. Maybe there will always be an empty chair. An unanswered phone. A name your heart still waits to hear. But love doesn’t end because a life does. The people we love keep showing up—in recipes we still make, songs we still sing, stories we still tell, and traditions we refuse to let die. So celebrate anyway. Not because grief is gone....

🎙️ WORKING THROUGH GRIEF: DENIAL I used to tell myself my elementary school best friend wasn’t dead. She had simply gone undercover for the FBI. Delusional? Absolutely. But grief doesn’t care about logic. That’s the thing about denial nobody tells you. It’s not always refusing reality. Sometimes it’s your heart buying time. Sometimes it sounds like: “But we just talked.” “I just saw them.” “I just...

Episode 32: Slipping Away ⚠️ Content Warning: This episode discusses depression, anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and survival mode. Some episodes I show up with answers. This isn’t one of them. This week we’re talking about the quiet battles. The kind you fight while you’re still smiling. The kind nobody notices because you’re still showing up, still functioning, still carrying the weight. We’re ta...

Working Through Grief: Episode 2 — Numbness After the shock fades, something else settles in. Numbness. The silence after the phone call. The blank stare across a crowded room. The moments where you know you’re hurting, but you can’t seem to feel it. In Episode 2 of the Working Through Grief series, B opens up about the strange season that follows loss—the part where your heart builds walls to sur...

Loving From a Distance Some relationships don’t end with a slammed door. They end with a quiet realization. A realization that love and access are not the same thing. In this episode of Pretty & Painful, we’re talking about the grief that comes from loving people you can no longer do life with. The heartbreak of watching resentment, hurt, pride, and pain create distance where connection once lived...

Babes… I can’t live, laugh, love in this economy. I can barely add to cart. This week we’re talking dopamine dressing, oversized t-shirts, Shein carts, weight loss, anxiety, reunion nerves, and the strange experience of trying to recognize yourself while you’re still growing. Somewhere between the beige trends, the bed rot, the life stress, and the “I have nothing to wear” spiral, I realized this...

Sometimes grief finds us in the strangest places. A finch on a buoy. A quiet river. A memory that suddenly feels alive again. In this Table Talk episode of Pretty & Painful, we’re sharing a listener story that reminds us how deeply love lingers — even in the smallest signs. From the crystal waters of the Ichetucknee to the ache of missing someone who mattered, this episode is about connection, rem...

Shock changes people. In Episode One of the new Working Through Grief series, we’re talking about the first stage of grief — the numb, blurry, disorienting reality that comes after loss. The phone call. The hospital room. The “this can’t be real” feeling. The exhaustion. The replaying of final moments over and over again. From anticipatory grief and hospice goodbyes to sudden loss and the silence...

Some days grief looks loud. Some days it just looks tired. In Episode 28 of Pretty & Painful, Bailey talks about masking, survival mode, self care, faith, flashback nights, sweet tea coping mechanisms, and learning how to carry grief without letting it harden you completely. This episode is for the people who still show up with heavy hearts. The ones forcing themselves to drink water, answer texts...

Episode 27 — “i saw you today” Sometimes grief doesn’t crash through the front door. Sometimes it pulls up beside you at a gas pump under a red sunset sky and steals the air right out of your lungs. Today I saw a stranger… but for a second, my heart swore it was you. This episode is about the weirdness of grief — the double takes, the familiar faces, the moments that feel like warm hugs and heartb...

I found myself asking a question lately that honestly felt a little embarrassing to say out loud: “Why are they so nice to me?” Not fake nice. Not performative nice. Not nice with hidden intentions attached to it. I mean genuine kindness. Patience. Gentleness. The kind of love that doesn’t keep score. And maybe that question says more about what I’ve survived than anything else. In Episode 26 of P...

Episode 25 of Pretty & Painful is for the girl who still cringes at old Facebook memories, old choices, old relationships, old coping mechanisms… and forgets she was surviving the best way she knew how. This episode is about grace. Not just the kind God gives us — but the kind we struggle to give ourselves. Bailey opens up about grieving old versions of herself, carrying shame for seasons she bare...

Hindsight is 20/20… but sometimes our vision isn’t. In Episode 24 of Pretty & Painful, Bailey dives into blurry seasons — the moments we ignored red flags, drifted from ourselves, questioned God’s timing, or got so lost in survival mode that we stopped seeing clearly. This episode is about slow blooming, spiritual burnout, hindsight, grace, and learning that healing doesn’t always happen all at on...

Borrowing joy until you can hold your own again. Maybe grief made your hands too heavy to carry happiness for a while. Maybe watching everyone else heal, grow, fall in love, laugh, and live felt easier than figuring out how to do it yourself. But somewhere along the way… their joy reminded me mine still existed too. And babes? I spent so long wondering if I even deserved a seat at the table… until...

Some fires don’t happen all at once. Sometimes they spark slowly. A bad season. A hard goodbye. A little grief. A little healing. A little chaos wrapped up in confidence and sarcasm. In this episode of Pretty & Painful, we’re talking about dumpster fire moments, emotional cleanup jobs, the people God sends into your life at the right time, and learning that being “hauled, not healed” doesn’t mean...

Episode 21 — the one someone buys I thought he was going to give me specs & storage… but turns out it was never really about the iPad. This episode is about what happens when you realize being “chosen” and being truly valued are two very different things. The gifts, the gestures, the convenience of having someone around — and the quiet ache of wondering if they actually see you underneath it all....

“Too much… or just finally honest?” This episode is for the ones who have been called too much. Too loud. Too emotional. Too honest. In this raw, unfiltered episode of Pretty & Painful, Bailey opens up about grief, healing out loud, and the reality of being misunderstood in a world that prefers things quiet and palatable. From accusations of “doing it for attention” to choosing what parts of her s...

Not everything is magically okay… but something feels different. In this episode of Pretty & Painful, I’m opening up about what it looks like when the blinders finally come off—when grief is still there, but it doesn’t feel quite as heavy. This isn’t me saying I’m done healing. This isn’t me ignoring the hard. This is me learning… I’m not alone in it. Through faith, through growth, and through the...

Some places don’t change… but the way they feel does. This episode is about going back— back to the places that raised you, the memories that shaped you, and the people who aren’t there anymore. It’s about expecting comfort… and being met with silence. About realizing that healing doesn’t always look like closure— sometimes it looks like sitting in the middle of what once was, and choosing to stay...

⸻ God Met Me Here I didn’t find God in a perfect moment. I didn’t find Him when everything made sense. I found Him… here. In the middle of the messy. The grief. The questions I didn’t have answers for. This episode is about the kind of faith that doesn’t look polished— the kind that shows up in quiet prayers, in car rides with tears you didn’t plan, in moments where all you can say is, “God… I nee...

Driftwood — BFFs & Suwannee River We didn’t drift… we just took the scenic route back. In this episode, it’s Bay & Shay— back in Florida, back by the water, and back in the kind of friendship that doesn’t need explaining. We’re talking growing up, growing apart, growing back together… and how the real ones don’t disappear—they just float steady until you find each other again. A little nostalgia....

This episode feels a little softer… but no less real. I’m sitting at the table with memories of my Aunt Judi — the kind of woman who wasn’t for everyone, but meant everything to the people she loved. The one who could bring sweetness into chaos, whether it was through her voice on dispatch or something homemade in her hands. Today feels like a bake sale kind of day… warm, familiar, a little bitter...

Healing Isn’t Quiet — April 19th Warning: This episode discusses personal experiences with sexual trauma and healing. Listener discretion is advised—please take care of yourself while listening. This episode is personal. Not for attention. Not for opinions. But because healing doesn’t happen in silence. April 19th, 2017 changed me. Not just in a moment… but in the way I saw myself, my body, and th...