Pre-Shift

You're supposed to poop before you party! Sheriff Jonesy makes a citizen's arrest and barks at his next door neighbor. Thomas has too many capri-suns and is M.I.A.  Frank throws a back door party and tips Jonesy $600. Firework Karen, The Tamale Bandits, bad neighbors and bar bathrooms. Stop requesting songs from the disc jockey!

Supervise those Husbands! Karaoke Jonesy is such a bro. Thomas is defeated by tourists. Frank has a face for radio and eats Subway 'Tuna'. Karen vs Kyle, No Fun Police, Family Drinking and getting trashed at the movies. Don't burn the city down pyros!

Make sure your cellular device is charged beforehand. Sheriff Jonesy smokes a cigar and has a crappy customer. Thomas is 'The Cleaner' as he becomes a creature of the night. Frank goes to Denny's and sneezes a little too hard. Fleeing Creep, Racist Karen, McBirth and Human Jerky. Shout out to 'The Crystal Palace Saloon' in Tombstone, AZ!

It's a living hell out here, in the Southwest! Jonesy forgot to pay his internet bill. Thomas is more of a cat person, in the casino and the grocery store. Frank goes to the pool and shaves his shoulders. Hangry Karen, Creepy employees, wing shortage, after hours party and Pakistani Police. Audacity is at an all-time high!

ACT ACCORDINGLY! Jonesy forgets how hot it gets and uses a pickle jar for what? Thomas tries to do a good deed but becomes de-sensitized. Frank is the 'Long-back-asaurus' and has to work the front door. Elementary School Karen, Creepy Toes, Happy Hour All-Nighter and who else has Drunk Parents?

Who should re-populate the Earth? Jonesy hates all buffets and gives romantic advice. Thomas worked from dusk til dawn, all Memorial Day weekend...nuff said. Frank's miserable, too hot and is against airline weight limits. Common Creep, Karen's flight gets delayed & top 10 cheeseburgers. DOLPH LUNDGREN. 

STOP EATING OUT OF THE FRUIT TRAY! Jonesy is in-studio and tries to withdraw $50,000 from the ATM. Thomas is 'Daddy Day Care' as he works Graveyard all week. Frank's on Gravy Watch because buffets are cancelled. Karen call-in, Creepy Teacher, gym evac, and riding the Greyhound. NO COMMUNITY PEANUTS!

Quarantine bodies grinding, 32 oz minimum! Jonesy rewards himself with a vanity, after a long graduation weekend. Thomas misplaces a sports parlay talking to his graveyard manager. Frank turns into a petting zoo after his wildest dream comes true. Shirtless guy, stripper pizza, beach creep and no more masks or underwear!

You put a quarter in, you get a dollar's worth. Jonesy adds Ricky Martin to his playlist and recaps his weekend. Thomas goes to Big Bear and sends his food back. Frank goes to Home Depot and drinks questionable booze. Airport Creep, Chinese Food Karen, fart stories and friends you can't hang out with.

Just in time for Cinco de Mayo. Jonesy has an HOA problem and blocks traffic getting his coffee. Thomas wants a police escort and looks like Eric Estrada. Frank goes to the doctor and has a wet dream. Hotel Karen, McRobber, Gym Creep and Red Lobster Biscuits vs Olive Garden breadsticks?

Next week is the end of the world... Jonesy flirts with health inspectors to get a passing grade. Thomas sits in someone's spot and wants to party in Utah. Frank orders a White Russian from his 7th grade teacher. DUI Dom, thief strikes again, Karen parks and a drunk teacher... that cold sweet kiss of death.

Get lost in the sauce. No Jonesy, no problem but he still finds a way to participate. Thomas moves to become the 'World's Worst Male Stripper'. Frank opens a checking account at McDonald's and sucks at pizza. EDC coyotes, karaoke mace, local casinos and Karen knows what she ordered. All hail the Sultan of Nogi!

Available exclusively in Usher Bucks! Jonesy gets caught selling shifts and sneaks booze onto the bus. Thomas has official merch and gives us '10 Bachelor Party Rules'. Frank witnesses a first and joins a gym for the toilets. Dog Poop Karen, Web-toed Hooker, selling Wife's food and can i get a hug?

It's mud butt season, time for money making and free random trash. Robocop Jonesy questions Frank's heyday and berates his barista. Thomas aka DJ Plain Bread delivers good luck and well wishes. Frank questions life while drinking at the movies. Pizza Karen, period creep, fast food headlines and what's the 2nd best pizza topping?

Buffoonery and backdoor parties, chapter 1 of "The Happy Valley Chronicles". Jonesy has to chase away homeless pyros. Thomas goes to Smackdown, leaves obliterated. Frank advocates for another lockdown but not for reasons you may think. Step mom Karen emails city council, last hour before close and which celebrity would you want to party with?

Vegas is back, hittin' it hard & early! Jonesy is back and has to play moneyball, after his easiest St. Patty's Day ever. Thomas found his brother's doppelganger and charges the entire Midwest for parking. Frank 'The Every Friend' cleans up puke and hates fries from [codeword: roadhouse]. 2 Karens, 1 Creep, Stagedoor shooting, volcano hot dogs and the award for doucheb...

It's the bar-tending Super-Bowl, St. Patrick's Day! Jonesy is too afraid to even open his laptop. Thomas prints his own $5 bills and tells us his favorite O'Malley story. Frank judges a kissing contest while getting stuck in an elevator. Karen wants a free chair, toilet etiquette and bartender breast milk. Everybody looks before they flush!

It's starting to smell like fresh, ripe bum p*** again! Jonesy opens for Papa Roach and throws some dice. Thomas calls out and meets his brother's new neighbors. Frank under cuts the market and always needs more eggs. Fighting co-workers, Karen assaults the pilot, man climbs the Eiffel Tower and the calm before the storm...

Happy Birthday Justin Bieber! Jonesy asks for an itemized receipt and doesn't know how to work a computer. Thomas is the getaway driver and brings his baby to the bar. Frank's emergency contact and an IV of lard. Group date Karen, 4th Ave underpass, fake kidnapping and philosophical drunk men.

So 2 Alvarado's walk into a gym... Jonesy 'The Legend' is in studio and lies about his age. Thomas has to mop the freezer as he describes his training day at Strat. Frankie (AyCE) eats damn good brisket and loves Nico's 3000. Closing time Karen, cocaine frosted flakes, fast food settlement offer and the ultimate bartender perk.

Good times...don't miss it at all. Jonesy is ovulating and floods O'malleys with a tear in his eye. Thomas is the Laughlin Creep and parties with J Stew. Franks prays during lap dances while he aims low. Karen's college fund, Alabama review, underwear masks and fake IDs.

Chicken wing twerking! Tara dishes on her regulars, pool stories and Gary 'The Perfect Guest.' Jonesy loves to sing Aladdin but loses his internet connection. Thomas shaves his head and goes on a first date with Cam. Frank finally wins a bet and still has to beg for his Christmas bonus. Karen needs to settle, streaking at Circa and great parenting at The Linq.

Once upon a time, there was 2 fat guys sprinting... Jonesy makes a blue bloody mary just in time to order male yoga pants online. Thomas is growing his hair out and channels his inner Megamind. Frank doesn't delegate and gives us his Superbowl bets and food. Karen hates lemonade, Creep orders a slice of pizza and a drunk guy throws piss. Beware of the Promenade Rat!

It's raining men! Jonesy is double fisting and finally bought a mic. Thomas gets a haircut from a one-handed barber and has to share a bed with his brother. Frank's meal plan will get you certified Husky in no time with damn good bleu cheese. We talk Tucson violence, best gas station food, alcohol delivery and Karen misses McDonald's breakfast cutoff.

Another week, another flock of insanity. Jonesy wishes Frank good luck and tries to guess what he ate. Thomas watches 'Aliens', drinks on the job and avoids getting fired. Frank pukes in the bathtub, passes out, clogs the drain and nearly drowns. Karen has a problem with her Tesla, $5 date night and urinal cameras. What more do you need?