Plant Sluts

Is planting by the moon backed by science, or just a superstition that appeals to the chronically online green witch? Jonathan and Jeannette also dive deep into biodynamic farming and discover what signs our favorite plants are. But first we give you an update on our thriving (sarcasm) gardens and Jonathan tries hosta shoots! Will they make his pee smell? Jonathan also shares garden tea with two s...

Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/JqhkIucMroQ Jeannette has finally made it to Montreal! To celebrate the reunion, we took the cameras out to the greenhouse for a very special, very chaotic mini-episode. We hit up the Boutique at the world-famous Montreal Botanical Garden and brought back a haul of bizarre, fancy, and fascinating botanical delicacies to taste test on camera. We are talking sw...

Jeannette visits Jonathan in Montreal and they get their fill on leafy greens in their winter coats. Jeannette commits the ultimate faux pas while not understanding what that means since she doesn't speak French. Another round of F*ck, Marry, Kill (nut edition)! We get into hazelnuts and the plant's ultimate reproductive power play, while discovering their global impact and why one chocolate sprea...

We continue digging into our bag of trail mix and explore the world of the flexisexual apricot. But first Jonathan and Jeannette update us on their gardens and share their stone fruit “zodiac” placements. We go over the cyanide wellness craze apricots were at the pit of in the 70s and find a surprising US Marine apricot superstition.

After complaining about kids these days, Jonathan and Jeannette dive into the history of the cacao plant and how that became the chocolate we consume nonstop today. We answer questions like "How many cacao pods did it cost to hire a sex worker in the Aztec empire?" and "Is white chocolate actually chocolate?" We also discover the tiny, nasty pollinator that is responsible for e...

Peanut sex gets wild in this episode! First, we try a new segment to find our sun-moon-rising Plant Placements and Jeannette tries more yard debris with Nipplewort! Will her nipples ever recover? Jonathan finds Montreal's peanut connection and Jeannette dives into the history of peanuts as a crop in the US. Jonathan also gives us the truth about these "nitrogen fixing" plants and whether...

The first in our Trail Mix series! It all starts and ends with seeds. We discuss which new seeds we’re trying this season and defend Jonathan’s AI garden organizing system. Jeannette tries purple dead nettle from the backyard and Jonathan talks about which seeds need to get cold, broken, and swallowed to germinate. We go into the future of seeds and the difference between seed banks, seed librarie...

Episode Notes ** Make way for tulips! In this episode, Jonathan bravely downs a comically overstuffed cup of foraged weeds and spills the tea on a secret teenage adventures through milkweed forests. Meanwhile, Jeannette attempts to separate art from plants… and immediately falls headfirst into the drama-filled rabbit hole of Semper Augustus and full-blown Tulipomania. Along the way, we assign tuli...

Episode Notes We’re back with Québec ’s favorite uncut berry: haskap. This episode spirals from Jeannette's forgotten Brussels sprouts to Jonathan's most unhinged greenhouse hack yet. Jonathan also spills some political Garden Tea. Then we get into haskap: why Québec growers are obsessed with it and why it's still on the dating apps. Got garden drama? Send your Garden Tea to plantslutspod@gmail.co...

Jonathan and Jeannette make preparations for the inevitable apocalypse in this bonus winter cutting episode. They don't figure out a source for fresh water but herbal Xanax is ready to go. Jonathan reinforces his rooftop empire while Jeannette considers potentially talking to her neighbors... if it's like a *bad* apocalypse. Plant Sluts is back February 4th so start cranking your battery powered r...

In this bonus winter cutting we talk about gardening indoors aka houseplants. We go into the origin and psychological grip they have on us. We ask, are there native houseplants and how prolific is the mall plant aesthetic? We discuss the problems you can run into when bringing the outdoors inside and why they may not be the great gift you think they are (unless you're Jonathan's mom). Find out mor...

Episode Notes In this episode we learn about Jonathan’s secret life as an oil baron. Jeannette will leave the leaves, so everyone please just shut up about it. We find a new community garden character trope and ask big questions like: are you a Thanksgiving marshmallow family? In our plant spotlight we talk about the original cranberry sauce and how the American colonists capitalized on indigenous...

Episode Notes In this episode we get spooky as Jonathan plots garden revenge on his ex, we whisper to our dearly departed plants via an online Ouija Board, and divine the mysteries of the dormant season with tarot. Plus, we spotlight pumpkin-- the berry you've probably never eaten. Jeannette digs into the haunted history of the jack-o-lantern (even if carving one still kinda sucks). Sources: Find...

Episode Notes Jonathan complains about tiny melons and Jeannette has to decide which plant can fulfill her needs in F-M-K Plant Edition. We explore Witch Hazel and where it got its demonic name. Jeannette reveals one of her vintage new age books and we continue to personify plants with the zodiac. Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co

Episode Notes Our latest episode kicks off Spooky season and includes an uncomfortable conversation with an arborist. Jonathan brags about his nonna's smuggled plums from the old country. We read terrifying Garden Tea sent in by a listener and pronounce all the medicinal compounds in American Skullcap perfectly on the first try ☠️ Correction: Jonathan said cinquefoil in reference to bunch berry (c...

Episode Notes In this episode Jonathan talks about the origins of the mulberry nursery rhyme and Jeannette finds out if it's a bush or a tree... Jonathan's pretty beans are a hit at happy hour and we read some devastating Garden Tea. Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co

Episode Notes We relax with lavender, and talk about the different types and tips on growing your own. A new segment debuts! Fuck, Marry, Kill: Plant Edition. Take a peek at the connections between lavender, Jonathan and Jeannette’s astro birth charts. Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co

Jeannette heads to agricultural bootcamp, Jonathan drags GMO propaganda, and a chewed-up bird sparks a hawk-related identity crisis. Meanwhile, primrose struts onto the scene kinky, poly, and radiating pure femme energy. Note: the book on botany referred to is in fact ' A Gardeners Guide to Botany '. Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co

Episode Notes Roses are red, but the history is unsurprisingly gay. Jeannette contemplates opening up her marriage (mainly to get out of doing dishes), while Jonathan reveals that not all thorns are created equal - every rose just has its prickle. We dig up the potentially queer-coded roots of Salem’s garden history, including Elizabeth Lord and Edith Schryver: pioneering women in landscape archit...

Episode Notes Jeannette has a vendetta against a tree. Meanwhile, Jonathan unearths a painful truth: sometimes slugs aren’t just destroying your hostas… they’re also wrecking your relationship. This week’s plant spotlight is Bloodroot - a spring beauty with a dark side, including a shady stint as a darling of the anti-vaxx crowd. Who knew this innocent woodland bloom had so much baggage? Email us...

Episode Notes Welcome to the very first episode of Plant Sluts! Meet your hosts Jonathan and Jeannette as they dig into how a global pandemic finally cleared the community garden waitlist (silver linings, folks), why Jeannette swears a rosemary cutting got her a house (and we're not questioning it), and whether lemon balm can actually treat depression and HIV. Plus: we spill the tea at the unexpec...