Pivot Parenting: Expert Tips for Navigating Teen and Tween Challenges

Even more than 31 flavors, disapointment is so varied and unavoidable in parenting.  They lied. Again Their apprearance is embarrassing They failed a quiz, class or college They are breaking all the rules They don't care about us or their family   I've heard too many disapointments to name, but they all have the same foundation, drive the same way of thinking, which yeilds outcomes that parents co...

  Your teen lies and suddenly your brain is off to the races. Why would they do this? Why can't they just tell me the truth? They know better. How do I stop this? Can I even trust them anymore? And before we know it, the lie starts to mean something much bigger. We wonder if we failed. If they're headed down the wrong path. If this says something terrible about their character… or ours. In this re...

When you hear "objectification," you probably think of something sexual. But it shows up in parenting more than we realize. It happens when we see our kids as a reflection of us, a measure of our success, or a project to manage instead of a person to understand. And once that shift happens, it becomes easier to justify frustration, control, and disconnection. In this episode, I walk you through th...

Humans are wired to look for an enemy. And when things feel hard with your teen, it is easy to turn them into the problem. But that approach quietly creates more distance. In this episode, I revisit one of my most important conversations about what it really looks like to be on the same team as your teen. You will learn how to catch the habit of "us vs them," shift into connection, and respond in...

This is a reprise episode of "ep. 89 Letter of the Law". I am going to break down the value of rules and consequences in parenting, as well as the application of how to create and follow through with rules and consequences. This is a really common topic with clients and will be very helpful to those struggling with navigating this area where teens tend to give a lot of pushback.  To more fully und...

This weeks episode is a throw back of ep. 158. I teach you how to know the answer to a common and often painful question: Am I a good parent? It can be a scary thing to consider, but I invite you to have me along as you do.  To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free  Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck,...

What if love isn't just sweet and soft? What if it's actually the strongest force for good, for change? In this final episode of my LOVE series, I'm talking about why love changes people in ways pressure, fear, shame, criticism, control, and consequences never can. As parents, partners, and humans, we often try to create change by pushing harder, worrying more, managing outcomes, or protecting our...

"I love you" might not be getting the job done. Most parents believe that saying the words should be enough—but with teenagers, love isn't always received the way we intend it. Sometimes the most powerful ways to show love are the ones we don't naturally think of. In Episode 11 of the Pivot Parenting LOVE series, Sonja Suthar and I explore creative, out-of-the-box ways to love your teen so they ac...

Why are teens often the hardest on the people who love them most? And how do we keep loving our teens well when they're rude, angry, defensive, disrespectful, or pushing us away? In part 10 of my LOVE series on the Pivot Parenting Podcast , I'm talking about what's really going on underneath "difficult" teen behavior and why so many of us end up escalating instead of helping calm the situation. Wh...

Advocating matters. But what matters more is how you model it. Love is the key! Your teen is learning how to speak up, set boundaries, and handle hard situations by watching you. Not just what you say, but how you say it. Emotions matter. In this episode of the Love series, we talk about what it actually looks like to model healthy advocacy in real life. You'll learn: How your behavior teaches you...

Loving people is simple in theory and much harder in real life. Especially when it comes to your ex, your teen's frienemies, or the adults who haven't treated your child well. So the question comes up fast. Why would I love them? In this episode, I walk you through why loving difficult people matters, how it benefits you and your family, and what it actually looks like in real life. You will learn...

If loving your teen feels heavy, confusing, or even painful… this episode will shift that. Love doesn't hurt. But what we think love is? That often does. In this episode, I walk you through what parents mistake for love, how that creates distance, and how to come back to something that actually feels steady and true. You'll walk away with: A better understanding of yourself A deeper way to love yo...

What if what you're calling failure… isn't failure? When your child's life, or your parenting, doesn't look how you thought it would, it can bring up shame, guilt, and that quiet sense of  "I got this wrong." But what if you're not wrong… you're just being invited to grow? In this episode, we talk about how to see clearly without making it mean something about your worth (go back to Episode 311 on...

They hug you ...They trash talk you in their texts. They confide in you ...They lie to you. They tell you they love you ...They break your rules. It can feel like a roller coaster—loving them deeply while also feeling hurt, confused, or unsure where you stand. In this episode, I talk about why love can feel so elusive when we misunderstand how it's created—and how understanding the dynamics of lov...

What's your favorite TV show? Today I talk about how the stories we love can teach us emotional flexibility—and how that flexibility expands our ability to love our teens well. In this episode, I share the three parts of structured flexibility that help us connect better, find more happiness, and express love more effectively as parents. If you've been feeling stuck, rigid, or unsure how to respon...

Our teen is grumpy, we find something we sished didn't exist, we are angry, frustrated and just want to fix it all.  What parents may not realize is that they're parenting out of disregulation and that often causes it's own set of problems.  While we may not associate LOVE and REGULATION with each other, they go hand in hand- listen in as I explain how.    To more fully understand, embrace and imp...

If we want our kids to be okay with their imperctions, not beat themselves up, and expect others to treat them with respect, there is a practice we parents need to improve- self love. Our kids learn how to see themselves by how we see ourselves.  It is a common misconception that if we think we're awsome, we're proud. Not always so- listen in as I explain the difference between perfectionism and s...

Welcome to the new Pivot Parenting series on LOVE! I love love, and over the next several episodes, I'll be focusing on different aspects of how we love ourselves, our teens, our partners, and our families. They all intersect. After more than six years of coaching, I see the patterns, dysfunction, and healing that love is deeply involved in. Love needs very specific nutrients to grow. Today, I'm t...

Many parents interpret their teen's behavior as disrespect—but what if your child is actually trying to answer a deeper question: Do I belong here? When we get triggered, our brains can quickly jump to worst-case assumptions about our teenagers—their attitude, their silence, their choices. That's where the biggest disconnects happen, and it's often not about defiance at all. It's about misundersta...

This is the last episode in this six-part series—and honestly, it's the one that puts it all together and matters most. Because at some point, every parent hits the wall. You've tried the consequences, the talks, the reminders, the worrying, the hoping they'll grow out of it. And you're left thinking, Why isn't this working? What am I missing? Here's the hard but hopeful truth: the change you're w...

Instant Relief Hack: Conflict Doesn't Mean Something Is Broken A few years ago, my son walked out of the room mid-conversation and wouldn't come back. I remember standing there, heart pounding, replaying every word. I'm just trying to help. But whatever I meant to do… it wasn't working. For a long time, I treated moments like that as proof that something was wrong. Wrong with me. Wrong with him. W...

Few things hurt like this: the child who once couldn't get enough of you now barely looks up from their phone. Doors are closed. Eye rolls are constant. And somewhere deep down, a quiet fear creeps in— Did I lose them? In this episode, we're talking about one of the most misunderstood parts of parenting teens: their push for independence. So many parents experience it as rejection, disrespect, or...

This one is tender. And it's personal. So I'm going to be gentle with you. Most of us are constantly looking around—at social media, neighbors, family members, even our own kids—to figure out if we're doing okay. If we're good parents. If we're worthy of the life and relationships we want. Sometimes that shows up as a quiet comparison. Your sibling's kid just won a game. A friend posts about their...

What if the thing you've been waiting for your teen to do… isn't actually the thing that has to happen first? Most parents live in a quiet, exhausting loop of "If they would just…" If they would just try harder. If they would just care. If they would just stop lying, yelling, shutting down, or blowing everything off. We keep waiting for them to change so things can finally calm down. And somehow,...

Welcome to a six part series, outlining the exact process to shift your parental struggles to find the connection with your teen. Today we begin with step 1: Your Future Doesn't Have to Look Like Your Past Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "This is just what our relationship will be" … or bracing with "Here we go again" when the same fight starts up for the hundredth time? A lot of parents q...