Pillow Talks

Ready for the most epic game of Would You Rather?   We’ve done Would You Rather on Instagram a few times, and it was such a hit that we decided to bring it to the podcast. We asked you for your best Would You Rather questions, and sat down to play without discussing our answers beforehand. You’ll get to hear our genuine reactions and honest responses as we giggle our way through the submissions yo...

It’s official… Sex Talks is a New York Times INSTANT Bestseller!   But to be totally up front with you, the process of getting here has been pretty wild. There have been SO many surprises, frustrations, and downright heartbreaks.   So we decided to pull back the curtain and get brutally honest about this journey has really been like. We’ve been keeping a secret journal of all of the ups and downs...

Have you ever had a question that you were too embarrassed to even Google? You know, the kinda stuff that you don’t even talk about with your best friend. The stuff that makes you ask, “Is this normal?”   Well we have, and that’s why we decided to make an episode covering all the topics you can’t ask anywhere else. We asked you for your most embarrassing questions, then polled them all on Instagra...

Is it OK if you and your partner keep finding yourselves coming back to the missionary position during sex? Does that make your relationship - gasp! - vanilla? Missionary often gets judged as being boring, predictable, or beginner, and a lot of us feel embarrassed to admit that we like it.   Well, take it from a sex therapist… vanilla is popular for a reason. Missionary can be wildly intimate, ero...

Do you want more intimacy in relationship? If your answer was, “Yes, but HOW?”, then you’re in the right place! We’ve been together for 15 years and know from personal experience how a relationship can ebb and flow right into a rut. You’re too tired, too overwhelmed, too embarrassed by how stale things have gotten, and you find yourself in the land of stagnation.   Good thing we’ve come up with th...

When we revealed in Episode 37 that we’re child free by choice, it became the most popular episode in Pillow Talks’ history, hands down. Talking about it publicly was challenging, emotional, and the most intimate we’ve ever been with our audience… until now.   After listening to the episode, so many of you reached out to share that you’re struggling with whether or not to have kids. You’re having...

If you’ve been following us for a bit, you probably know that we have a book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, coming out February 7th with Simon & Schuster. We’re so excited for you to get your hands on this book, and bring more connection, pleasure, and fun into the bedroom! But do you want to know the real story behind the book?   In this episode, we’re pull...

It’s time for another one of your favorite episodes - Ask Us Anything! This time, let’s skip the business questions and keep it personal.   We asked you to send in the questions you’ve been dying to know, and you delivered! Religion? Sex position burnout? The ways we still embarrass ourselves with each other? You bet! We cover it all and more, so make yourself comfortable and feel free to giggle a...

What makes a person sexy? We all want to be sexy, but most of us don’t feel that way very often (or at all). It can be hard to see yourself as sexy after long hours at work, taking care of kids, or watching your body change over the years. Even worse, we don’t know how to change that, because we don’t know what “sexy” even means! Google certainly isn’t helpful. What the heck are we supposed to do?...

What a year 2022 has been!!! In 52 episodes, we’ve gotten more vulnerable than we’ve ever dared, tackled the topics we never thought would see the light of day, and busted more myths than we thought possible - and loved EVERY minute of it!   So we thought it’d be a blast to count down our top 10 moments from Pillow Talks this year. Take a listen and see if your favorites made the cut! Revisit the...

Be honest - if you look back at your last fight with your partner, are you happy with how it went? Was there anything you wish that you had said differently? Or would take back Maybe you were feeling defensive, a little misunderstood, or just plain hurt! It would be nice if there was a referee to throw a flag or call time out when we cross the line in an argument.   We reached out to our Instagram...

On December 15th, 2007, a tired girl got dragged to a Christmas party and met a DJ with a heart of gold, and the rest is history.   Here we are 15 years later, married and running a sex and relationship business, reflecting back over what it took to get us here. In this special episode, we celebrate our anniversary by sharing on the lessons we’ve taught each other, the revelations we’ve stumbled u...

It’s (supposed to be) the most wonderful time of the year! The time we get together with our loved ones and celebrate each other with presents, food, and quality time.   But what happens when we start to see cracks in the perfect holiday picture we had in our mind? You and your partner start to bicker over budgets. Or maybe your mom’s disappointed that you’re going to your in-law’s this year. Or y...

Ever wondered why the man in your life is so emotionally reserved? Ever been frustrated by how unwilling he seems to be to talk about his feelings?   You try to work though an issue in your relationship, but he’s stone-faced and tight-lipped, with nothing to add to the conversation. Or worse, after holding all the feelings in for so long, he has a huge overreaction of epic proportions that leaves...

Need a good laugh today? Everyone knows how stressful the holiday season can be, so if you need to lighten the mood or just chase away the cold weather blues, you’re in the right place.   We crowdsourced anonymous sex confessions from our Instagram audience, and cherry-picked the very best ones to share in this revealing, hilarious, and sometimes shocking episode. Get ready for outdoor sex hijinks...

Initiation is SUPPOSED to feel sexy and enticing. When we see it on TV, it always looks so easy. One partner looks at the other from across the room, you can see in their eyes how much they want each other, one partner presses the other up against the wall and it’s game on! But for so many of us, initiation feels more like an annoyance than a seduction. We polled our audience on Instagram and disc...

There are few things in life we’re more passionate about than orgasms! We want you to understand them, have them, give them, and enjoy them! With so much misinformation out there, it can be tricky to separate fact from fiction. So we decided to create The Orgasm Episode, vulva owner edition!   We polled our Instagram audience for all the orgasm questions you want answered. We talk about everything...

Do you want a higher sex drive? Bet you said, “yes!” without thinking twice. 74% of our Instagram audience did. Most of us feel self-conscious about how rarely we desire sex, and believe that we’re supposed to have a stronger libido.   But if you’re really honest with yourself, do you truly want more desire? Only 8% of our Instagram audience said they’d do whatever it takes to have a higher sex dr...

You love your partner, for better or worse, but there’s just that THING that gets under your skin.   Maybe it’s something they say all the time, maybe it’s a bad habit that they refuse to address, or something bigger like house duties.   Whatever it is, you just can’t seem to “get over it” and you have found yourself wondering, “Am I being unreasonable?”   We reached out to our Instagram audience...

You come home after a long day, you see your partner, but you don’t say anything more than “hi” to each other. Something hilarious happened at lunch, but you don’t see the point in sharing it with your partner. You sit down to dinner, but have nothing to say to one another.   You find yourself thinking, “How did this happen? Is this normal? This can’t be what a relationship is supposed to be like…...

Have you ever had your partner initiate sex and thought to yourself, “I should probably just do it because I’ve said ‘no’ so much”? Or has your partner been the one reminding you of your track record of responses?   Or maybe you’re the one wishing your partner would say “yes” a whole lot more often.    Spoiler alert: You should never feel pressured (or pressure yourself) to do something you don’t...

Have you ever been having intercourse and thought to yourself, “Oh, this hurts, and not in a good way…”?   Research shows that a whopping 1 in 3 vulva owners said this happened to them the LAST time that they had intercourse. But sexual pain is something that is rarely discussed, leaving so many to suffer in silence.   Nobody deserves to feel pain during sex. While the source can be complicated, s...

You saw the question box. You dug deep and swung for the fences. Now buckle up, because it is our turn at bat and we are gonna get SPICY in this episode!   That’s right, it’s time for “Ask Us Anything”- extra spicy edition 🔥   On Instagram we asked you to challenge us with your most personal questions, and boy did you deliver! Our team gave us a list of questions, and we sat down to record withou...

Most couples believe that trying to get pregnant will be one of the sexiest, most intimate periods of their relationship. But if you don’t get pregnant right away, things can quickly take a turn - worrying that something is wrong, fear that it will never happen, the medical appointments, the pressure, the schedules…   With all that stress, it’s no wonder that your sex life can really suffer while...

Xander is back in the hot seat today answering the tough questions... What do guys REALLY think about lingerie? Can they handle a woman who makes more money or has a higher sex drive? When it comes to breasts, do they care about size or symmetry? Nipple size or color?   We also polled the men in our Instagram community so we could take an even deeper look at the male psyche.   And we even talk abo...